Dr. Who Posted December 11, 2014 Share Posted December 11, 2014 I need to just talk with you guys here on something.My grandma, dad's mom, is dying. She's only 81. She's got cancer. First they thought it was bone cancer, then they thought it was lung cancer, now it's in her stomach I think. She's down to 98 lbs and is in and out of confusion and my grandpa is emotionally a wreck (they've been together 61 years, my grandma was 15 when they began dating and he was only 18, so pretty much all their lives). She lives far away now and it's not easy for me to get to her and I don't know how to handle it myself either. I feel incredibly numb and I started crying remembering how she taught me how to whistle as a kid, how she was the one person I could talk to about anything, literally ANYTHING. She is the funnest lady in the world, and she used to take me in her shopping cart and push me in it and take me shopping with her. She was a catty, gossipy lady but I never disliked that about her. Out of my 13 or so cousins she always proudly asserted to both me and my parents that I was the best looking and wasn't ashamed to say it, and she didn't say it to shine me on--she was a very genuine person. If you were being an idiot, or annoying, she'd tell you, but not in a mean way, just honest. She was so blunt as to tell me, how when I was suffering from vericose veins, how she had them somewhere very private. I've never lost a close relative or even someone close to me emotionally before and I don't really know how to handle it appropriately, and I don't want to declare her 'dead' just yet, because maybe there's some tiny hope.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Georgy Zhukov Posted December 11, 2014 Share Posted December 11, 2014 (edited) Looking forward to seeing any hot cousins at the funeral, Miser? I know how much you love your family. Edited December 11, 2014 by Georgy Zhukov 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Who Posted December 11, 2014 Author Share Posted December 11, 2014 Looking forward to seeing any hot cousins at the funeral, Miser? I know how much you love your family. My cousins aren't hot. They're typical looking Italian girls with hair on their forearms. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Len Cnut Posted December 11, 2014 Share Posted December 11, 2014 Looking forward to seeing any hot cousins at the funeral, Miser? I know how much you love your family. My cousins aren't hot. They're typical looking Italian girls with hair on their forearms.Sounds great, I'll have half a dozen! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LyndaRose Posted December 11, 2014 Share Posted December 11, 2014 what can I say...it sucks...I lost all my grandparents, and parents, and only brother Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Satanisk_Slakt Posted December 11, 2014 Share Posted December 11, 2014 That's too bad. Hope she'll be okay. If not, at least seek comfort in that life's just not worth living and she won't have to endure it any more. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rustycage Posted December 11, 2014 Share Posted December 11, 2014 If true, that sucks, man. Mine on the mother's side has beat colon cancer(so we thought), beat breast cancer and now has stage iv inoperable liver cancer that spread from the colon cancer. It's a real bitch. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chewbacca Posted December 11, 2014 Share Posted December 11, 2014 Well, since you don't know the etiology, it's hard to tell you how severe her condition is.But since you mentioned so many symptoms, like losing weight, it's probably in an advanced stage, which is a real bad sign, especially for a 81yo.I feel sorry for you, but there's nothing anyone can do about it. Passing away is just a part of our lives and you'll have to accept it.My grandparents died not long ago and, altough saddened, I came to terms with it. Cheer up. Your granny probably wouldn't want you to go down on depression. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZoSoRose Posted December 11, 2014 Share Posted December 11, 2014 I'm sorry, Miser.I don't think this is something you can prepare for, I think its one of those "life lesson" sort of things you gain with experience. You never know, she may recover and she may not. I don't know =/But if you need someone to talk to, shoot me a PM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Georgy Zhukov Posted December 11, 2014 Share Posted December 11, 2014 You know, heroin is a great way to cope with loss.Looking forward to seeing any hot cousins at the funeral, Miser? I know how much you love your family. My cousins aren't hot. They're typical looking Italian girls with hair on their forearms.Are you saying that you would find them hot if they weren't Italian with hairy forearms or would you go for them if they waxed them? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dazey Posted December 11, 2014 Share Posted December 11, 2014 I'm going to break with tradition and offer my sympathies. Tough breaks Miser but she's had a good innings. All the best and that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Apollo Posted December 11, 2014 Share Posted December 11, 2014 I don't mean to be harsh - but dude, this is what all people do - they die.Especially grandparents. Every single one of them since time began.She lived to her 80s - that's a great run for anybody. Lots of people go out in their 50s and 60s.A friend of mine from high school just passed away from cancer. 45 years old. Left behind three little girls.It's OK to be sad when people die.But the passing of our 80 year old grandparents should be something that isn't a surprise or shock, and you should be well prepared for it already.I'm not trying to be harsh or rude. But everybody dies, man. Especially old people. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rustycage Posted December 11, 2014 Share Posted December 11, 2014 You can't generalize life and death, Gropollo. Old people may still serve a purpose in people's family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nosaj Thing Posted December 11, 2014 Share Posted December 11, 2014 You can't generalize life and death, Gropollo. Old people may still serve a purpose in people's family.Well, I have always thought that we don't want our parents or family in general to die because 'we' don't want to suffer. 80 year old people might want to rest in peace, I don't know. Maybe I'll know the answer for sure when and if I reach that age. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Apollo Posted December 11, 2014 Share Posted December 11, 2014 You can't generalize life and death, Gropollo. Old people may still serve a purpose in people's family.As a matter of fact, I can generalize life and death - I just did it a few minutes ago.Gropollo - funny. You are a clever lad.I never said old people didn't serve a purpose in people's family.At least you didn't throw out your normal insults in this post, so I suppose that's a positive. Make sure in your response to call me clueless or some other insult. You keep that grudge (from one disagreement) going big boy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZoSoRose Posted December 11, 2014 Share Posted December 11, 2014 Jeez Fuck, ya'll are being dicks. My grandpa is 80 and if he was dying I would be DEVASTATED. You can't just be like, ah well, they had a good run. For fuck's sake 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Apollo Posted December 11, 2014 Share Posted December 11, 2014 Jeez Fuck, ya'll are being dicks. My grandpa is 80 and if he was dying I would be DEVASTATED. You can't just be like, ah well, they had a good run. For fuck's sakePeople deal with death differently.Feel free to mourn the way you want........and I'll mourn the way I want. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZoSoRose Posted December 11, 2014 Share Posted December 11, 2014 I was mainly just excited to use the Chameleon analogy 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ColdHeartBreaker Posted December 11, 2014 Share Posted December 11, 2014 Back on topic kids.Didn't Miser make similar threads about his Mum?.. Never the less, it sounds shitty. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jekylhyde Posted December 11, 2014 Share Posted December 11, 2014 That's incredibly sad. My father, 63, is also battling stomach cancer. You got to go one day at a time and hope for the best. Spend as much time as you can with your grandma. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ace Nova Posted December 11, 2014 Share Posted December 11, 2014 (edited) Sounds a lot like my Grandmother. It can be difficult to say goodbye to a close family relative. And the pain and suffering she's going through right now must also be painful for all of you. Life goes on after death. (Both hers and yours).Wish you and your's the best during this difficult time. Edited December 11, 2014 by Kasanova King Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Who Posted December 11, 2014 Author Share Posted December 11, 2014 (edited) Thanks for all the kind words.I wish I could spend time with her--she lives in PA and I live in NY and I don't drive. She's hospitalized now and they (the doctors) won't let her go home unless she is receiving hospice care. My grandfather doesn't want anyone in the house and doesn't really know how to handle any of it so she's not coming home. She's been in and out of the hospital the past two or three months. The thing is there's a lot of miscommunication. My aunt lives with them but she's a drunk and my grandpa is 85 and he's not a nurse or a doctor. We first heard it was bone cancer. One of her blood tests symptoms was extremely high calcium levels. Then apparently supposedly the results showed she DIDN'T have cancer. Then she had extremely low blood pressure (60/40) and was rushed to the hospital and more tests were run which show I think lung cancer. Then my dad was told that they had (a while back) found a stomach tumor as well. So we're not really sure of what kind of cancer it is. All we know is she's at 98 lbs, she gets confused very easily, won't answer phone calls unless the phone is brought to her or put in her hand because she lacks the strength to grab hold of it herself. That's all I know. I'm receiving the information second hand, and so is my father. My aunt is like one of those gatekeeper kids who decides when so and so will speak to the parents, and my grandpa is in total denial. Acts as if nothing's wrong.Jekyl--I'm sorry to hear about your father. I hope he pulls through. Edited December 11, 2014 by Dr. Who Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Len Cnut Posted December 11, 2014 Share Posted December 11, 2014 Whenever Miser makes a thread about a dying relative, it is like he is jerking off to his family. I've seen other threads where a loved one dies, and they are a lot less creepy.Thank you for that Georgy, thats one of the more enduring mental images I've been subjected to in my 31 years on this planet 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Georgy Zhukov Posted December 11, 2014 Share Posted December 11, 2014 Whenever Miser makes a thread about a dying relative, it is like he is jerking off to his family. I've seen other threads where a loved one dies, and they are a lot less creepy. Thank you for that Georgy, thats one of the more enduring mental images I've been subjected to in my 31 years on this planet Read his other long post, that is more than we need to know about one person. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Len Cnut Posted December 11, 2014 Share Posted December 11, 2014 Aw, leave him alone, he's alright. Bit of a pranny but then aren't we all? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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