The Self Employment Thread

[Gracii Guns]

Snake-pit, please just stick to drug dealing. It's morally just as wrong as using offshore accounts for tax evasion, plus drugs can be fun. You have a demand for a product and you don't need to bother with income tax, no VAT, no money back, no guarantees etc.

If you want to go to America, stick a load of heroin up your bum and get on a plane.

[Snake-Pit]

But it's not for tax evasion or dealing drugs.

[Gracii Guns]

But it's not for tax evasion or dealing drugs.

I still think there's a bigger market for weed than there is knock off Louis Vuitton bags, which haven't been in style for 10 years.

[spunko12345]

It's not going to be cheap, it's not going to be easy, but if I do all that anyway, I'd want a Green Card in order to do that, so I guess that makes sense.

Employees have rights, and these things take money.

And have taxes to answer too.

So if I were to ever hire anyone in America, even me, there would be a whole lot of paperwork and (perhaps) money involved.

"So if I were to ever hire anyone in America, even me"

I will discuss this one with you tomorrow Snakepit. I think the weed has softened your brain up a bit tonight but we'll get back on track boy.

[Snake-Pit]

But it's not for tax evasion or dealing drugs.

I still think there's a bigger market for weed than there is knock off Louis Vuitton bags, which haven't been in style for 10 years.

1, 000% but both are currently toxic company shutting down products.

But if I ever wake up and find out London'll be turning into Amsterdam... Hmmmmm.... I'd see the ins and out of getting that license and devote a lot of resources to that; *dreams - but I'd so look into that, it ain't even funny - Cro'

I'd have a CR0 postcode too in Croydon and call it Cro' and be Croydon's first weed cafe/coffee shop (Croydon has CR0 postal code). https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/CR_postcode_area

Cro' is also short for chronic.

Edited December 2, 2015 by Snake-Pit

[Len Cnut]

Snake-pit, please just stick to drug dealing. It's morally just as wrong as using offshore accounts for tax evasion, plus drugs can be fun. You have a demand for a product and you don't need to bother with income tax, no VAT, no money back, no guarantees etc.

If you want to go to America, stick a load of heroin up your bum and get on a plane.

Exactly how much do you expect can fit in one mans bottom my dear? Drug users put it in their bottoms, not dealers

[Chris1989]

I guess you can fit a decent amount up there judging by the size of the shit somebody left in the work toilet today.

[Gracii Guns]

Yo, got a question.

I've been doing a cleaning job for a few hours a week for a private house. Let's assume I take on average £20 a week. Although it's not much money, it's useful to earn when times get tight. My employers just recommended me to another person for another few hours every week.

Now I want to do this all properly. I own my magazine business (ltd company) and I own my old freelancing business (which I need to close, haven't done so yet).

I have little record of my payment (cash in hand). I just keep a diary of when I worked and what I've been paid. What's the best route to take so I'm all declared? Set up another Ltd. company as a cleaning business?

[Dazey]

Personally I wouldn't bother declaring it at all.

[Snake-Pit]

Yo, got a question.

I've been doing a cleaning job for a few hours a week for a private house. Let's assume I take on average £20 a week. Although it's not much money, it's useful to earn when times get tight. My employers just recommended me to another person for another few hours every week.

Now I want to do this all properly. I own my magazine business (ltd company) and I own my old freelancing business (which I need to close, haven't done so yet).

I have little record of my payment (cash in hand). I just keep a diary of when I worked and what I've been paid. What's the best route to take so I'm all declared? Set up another Ltd. company as a cleaning business?

What's your magazine? 'Doyley Dailey'?

You're too 'schweet' for business dear.

I mean, you're looking to declare £20.00 cash in hand.

Sorry to laugh, but, when I found out you had a company...

Okay, so you publish a magazine...

But can sell you subscriptions to it?

And also, who are your target readers?

[Gracii Guns]

What's your magazine? 'Doyley Dailey'?

You're too 'schweet' for business dear.

Sorry to laugh, but, when I found out you had a company...

Okay, so you publish a magazine...

And also, who are your target readers?

Why am I being vigilant about this? Because it's my name, it's my business and I actually don't want to get bad press for bad business practises.

Snakes, my magazine has 27,000 readers, so stick that in your bong and smoke it.

[Len Cnut]

She's too sweet for business yet there she is making a go of her thing and making ends meet and there's you at home, scratching your arse with a guitar pick thinking 'Why won't they let me trademark Louis Vuitton if I put a capital N at the end?' I'd fancy her chances making a go at a business before a couple of ragbags like me and you, you couldn't keep a weed alive with a watering can

Edited December 7, 2015 by Len B'stard

[Gracii Guns]

She's too sweet for business yet there she is making a go of her thing and making ends meet and there's you at home, scratching your arse with a guitar pick thinking 'Why won't they let me trademark Louis Vuitton if I put a capital N at the end?' I'd fancy her chances making a go at a business before a couple of ragbags like me and you, you couldn't keep a weed alive with a watering can

Tbh, I think he just wrote all that because I've been dissing his business ideas. It was coming to me.

And Len, since we've already established that you're right about everything, you can be my first hire.

[Len Cnut]

She's too sweet for business yet there she is making a go of her thing and making ends meet and there's you at home, scratching your arse with a guitar pick thinking 'Why won't they let me trademark Louis Vuitton if I put a capital N at the end?' I'd fancy her chances making a go at a business before a couple of ragbags like me and you, you couldn't keep a weed alive with a watering can

Tbh, I think he just wrote all that because I've been dissing his business ideas. It was coming to me.

And Len, since we've already established that you're right about everything, you can be my first hire.

He knows i love him really. And i do mean that, he's a cool guy, if i had to pick 10 people I'd get on with off of this forum he'd be top ten no problem, reminds me of myself, sort of a well intentioned plonker

Edited December 7, 2015 by Len B'stard

[Dazey]

Tbh, I think he just wrote all that because I've been dissing his business ideas. It was coming to me.

To be fair to you, you were dissing his ideas cuz his ideas are fucking moronic.

[Snake-Pit]

She's too sweet for business yet there she is making a go of her thing and making ends meet and there's you at home, scratching your arse with a guitar pick thinking 'Why won't they let me trademark Louis Vuitton if I put a capital N at the end?' I'd fancy her chances making a go at a business before a couple of ragbags like me and you, you couldn't keep a weed alive with a watering can

Tbh, I think he just wrote all that because I've been dissing his business ideas. It was coming to me.

And Len, since we've already established that you're right about everything, you can be my first hire.

Not really, but I like that you think that.

She's too sweet for business yet there she is making a go of her thing and making ends meet and there's you at home, scratching your arse with a guitar pick thinking 'Why won't they let me trademark Louis Vuitton if I put a capital N at the end?' I'd fancy her chances making a go at a business before a couple of ragbags like me and you, you couldn't keep a weed alive with a watering can

I'm trying to bring transferable skills from the streets of South London and legitimise people's efforts; instead of dealers brokering deals with other dealers, bring that mindset and motivation and dedication to the high street - pay all dues is tricky with some, who want to pay it, but have yet to understand the importance of doing it themselves, most these people I want to help want to do it all, have their own business shotting/selling shit, but they want to do that in my name... Am like you're missing the point.

I have people ready to play nice and flirt with potential clients who will fight if have to with everything in their arsenal (which is why I want to equip them with legalese and rights and stuff) and then have them take on the high street with me.

I see a lot of hard work on the street, I plan to help some people out with this company of mine as I establish real connections with real wholesalers and distributing stock purchased to other businesses and the general public over the internet.

Edited December 7, 2015 by Snake-Pit

[Len Cnut]

She's too sweet for business yet there she is making a go of her thing and making ends meet and there's you at home, scratching your arse with a guitar pick thinking 'Why won't they let me trademark Louis Vuitton if I put a capital N at the end?' I'd fancy her chances making a go at a business before a couple of ragbags like me and you, you couldn't keep a weed alive with a watering can

Tbh, I think he just wrote all that because I've been dissing his business ideas. It was coming to me.

And Len, since we've already established that you're right about everything, you can be my first hire.

Not really, but I like that you think that.

She's too sweet for business yet there she is making a go of her thing and making ends meet and there's you at home, scratching your arse with a guitar pick thinking 'Why won't they let me trademark Louis Vuitton if I put a capital N at the end?' I'd fancy her chances making a go at a business before a couple of ragbags like me and you, you couldn't keep a weed alive with a watering can

I'm trying to bring transferable skills from the streets of South London and legitimise people's efforts; instead of dealers brokering deals with other dealers, bring that mindset and motivation and dedication to the high street - pay all dues is tricky with some, who want to pay it, but have yet to understand the importance of doing it themselves, most these people I want to help want to do it all, have their own business shotting/selling shit, but they want to do that in my name... Am like you're missing the point.

I have people ready to play nice and flirt with potential clients who will fight if have to with everything in their arsenal (which is why I want to equip them with legalese and rights and stuff) and then have them take on the high street with me.

I see a lot of hard work on the street, I plan to help some people out with this company of mine as I establish real connections with real wholesalers and distributing stock purchased to other businesses and the general public over the internet.

Yes, i can see all the gangs south of river forming a coalition under the banner of selling moody handbags, divisions will be breached, age old bad blood settled, feuds neutralised...all under the auspices of Snakes Bambataa, the equaliser I mean it stands to reason doesn't it, the moody handbag industry is SOOOO much more lucrative than selling charlie, if only The Krays twins had known, they needn't've bothered with all the violence and intimidation and loan sharking and protection racket, all they needed was a barrow and the directions to Dagenham market Edited December 7, 2015 by Len B'stard

[Gracii Guns]

The thing is, I am too nice for business. My magazine has a set of values which we stick to.

Myself versus Snakes; Snakes will probably make more money than I do in whatever industry he chooses because he's a hardass.

[Len Cnut]

The thing is, I am too nice for business. My magazine has a set of values which we stick to.

Myself versus Snakes; Snakes will probably make more money than I do in whatever industry he chooses because he's a hardass.

Its callled integrity dear, despite what the business 'experts' would have you believe you dont have to be a cunt to be successful, its just easier that way. I'd rather do business with you than someone full of business studies bollocks treating humans like market cattle and guaging their worth based on how much they can rinse from them, you dont have to be preadatory to do good business, whatever it is about you that makes you wanna do things that way its an invaluable thing and i hope you never lose it, better a small but functioning and on-going enterprise run by good hearted people than a billionaire cunt, we're on this planet three score and ten years if we're lucky and in the end all thats left is peoples memories of you and I'd rather have enough to get by and be looked back upon fondly than to be a billionaire that everyone thought was a twat.

And hey, its not like you cant get big working with integrity too.

[Chris1989]

If this were Dragons Den, Snakes wouldn't last 5 minutes but Gracii gets to the negotiating stage.

[Snake-Pit]

The thing is, I am too nice for business. My magazine has a set of values which we stick to.

Myself versus Snakes; Snakes will probably make more money than I do in whatever industry he chooses because he's a hardass.

Well considering I don't even really have a business plan, yet (am still in research and development); I'd say you're winning; for now.

[Snake-Pit]

On Friday I paid myself back.

Called it expenses.

I deposited money I withdrew from my ATM account with my building society banking account, deposited it into my company's bank account, transferred it to the current account of mine that I used to wrack up those first expenses, so now my company has reimbursed that account and has that in the profit/loss report.

All future expenses, of course (now that company has bank account) will be done through that account.

As long as I make my quarterlies, I can handle my VAT registration, and not need apply for a VAT7.

I still think I'm screwed, so I still may hire an account to unscrew me, but if hiring them screws me too when I didn't have too, then I'll be damned.

Edited January 10, 2016 by Snake-Pit

[Gracii Guns]

Weve made it!

To the top shelf at the city library!

[Dazey]

On Friday I paid myself back.

Called it expenses.

I deposited money I withdrew from my ATM account with my building society banking account, deposited it into my company's bank account, transferred it to the current account of mine that I used to wrack up those first expenses, so now my company has reimbursed that account and has that in the profit/loss report.

All future expenses, of course (now that company has bank account) will be done through that account.

As long as I make my quarterlies, I can handle my VAT registration, and not need apply for a VAT7.

I still think I'm screwed, so I still may hire an account to unscrew me, but if hiring them screws me too when I didn't have too, then I'll be damned.

You do realise that simply moving your giro from one account to another isn't business right?

[Facekicker]

She's too sweet for business yet there she is making a go of her thing and making ends meet and there's you at home, scratching your arse with a guitar pick thinking 'Why won't they let me trademark Louis Vuitton if I put a capital N at the end?' I'd fancy her chances making a go at a business before a couple of ragbags like me and you, you couldn't keep a weed alive with a watering can

Tbh, I think he just wrote all that because I've been dissing his business ideas. It was coming to me.

And Len, since we've already established that you're right about everything, you can be my first hire.

Not really, but I like that you think that.

She's too sweet for business yet there she is making a go of her thing and making ends meet and there's you at home, scratching your arse with a guitar pick thinking 'Why won't they let me trademark Louis Vuitton if I put a capital N at the end?' I'd fancy her chances making a go at a business before a couple of ragbags like me and you, you couldn't keep a weed alive with a watering can

I'm trying to bring transferable skills from the streets of South London and legitimise people's efforts; instead of dealers brokering deals with other dealers, bring that mindset and motivation and dedication to the high street - pay all dues is tricky with some, who want to pay it, but have yet to understand the importance of doing it themselves, most these people I want to help want to do it all, have their own business shotting/selling shit, but they want to do that in my name... Am like you're missing the point.

I have people ready to play nice and flirt with potential clients who will fight if have to with everything in their arsenal (which is why I want to equip them with legalese and rights and stuff) and then have them take on the high street with me.

I see a lot of hard work on the street, I plan to help some people out with this company of mine as I establish real connections with real wholesalers and distributing stock purchased to other businesses and the general public over the internet.

Wait outside the local school and hire a few Indian boys to run your market stalls. It comes naturally to them and as the owner you can be a mentor of sorts. Every young chap should have a mentor and any businessman worth his salt is always on the lookout for talent to nurture.