wasted Posted November 27, 2018 Share Posted November 27, 2018 The United Colours of Arsenal. Winning’s not everything, we go clubbing in London. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spunko12345 Posted November 27, 2018 Share Posted November 27, 2018 If you could be put into the body of a premier league footballer but with your skill levels how long into a match do you think you could last before being exposed? I could probably get about 10 minutes into a game if we kicked off. Just pass it sideways then jog forward into their half. Even proper players miscontrole every now and again so that could buy me a few more touches and minutes. It would be different if they kicked off because the first time the play came anywhere near me I'd be all over the place. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DieselDaisy Posted November 27, 2018 Share Posted November 27, 2018 1 minute ago, spunko12345 said: If you could be put into the body of a premier league footballer but with your skill levels how long into a match do you think you could last before being exposed? I could probably get about 10 minutes into a game if we kicked off. Just pass it sideways then jog forward into their half. Even proper players miscontrole every now and again so that could buy me a few more touches and minutes. It would be different if they kicked off because the first time the play came anywhere near me I'd be all over the place. My cock would fall off from spit roasting hookers every night and I'd be up to my fourth written-off Ferrari. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spunko12345 Posted November 27, 2018 Share Posted November 27, 2018 (edited) My second question is which sport do you think there is the biggest gap between skill and ability of a pro and a rank amateur in how long it would take to be exposed. I was going to say snooker and it certainly would be as soon as I took my first shot but if the other guy was at the table he could just clear up for 10 minutes.so no one would know what I was like. So my top 3 is boxing (brutally exposed after 5 seconds) and 100 meter sprint (2 seconds) golf (first shot). Actually boxing would probably take longer, if I actually looked like a boxer and the other guy thought I was I could probably do a good impression of keeping my guard up and moving about so they don't tend to touch each other for about 15-20 seconds in. Certainly the first time the glove touched my face id be gone. Edited November 27, 2018 by spunko12345 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DieselDaisy Posted November 27, 2018 Share Posted November 27, 2018 2 minutes ago, spunko12345 said: My second question is which sport do you think there is the biggest gap between skill and ability of a pro and a rank amateur in how long it would take to be exposed. I was going to say snooker and it certainly would be as soon as I took my first shot but if the other guy was at the table he could just clear up for 10 minutes.so no one would know what I was like. So my top 3 is boxing (brutally exposed after 5 seconds) and 100 meter sprint (2 seconds) Tennis There is a lot of movement between amateur and professional cricket - a lot more than other sports. Smaller counties like Northants actually target minor counties and club cricket, and you do get Cinderella stories, guys like Olly Stone making the England squad (who were packing boxes and playing a bit of club cricket two years ago). Conversely you have aging pros dipping back into club cricket. Every club is actually allowed ''one professional'', and under age sides and/or seconds often play clubs. The difference I suppose is duration. The professional game has 4-5 day cricket (first-class, i.e., tests and county cricket); the amateur game doesn't. I still maintain the better amateur clubs could beat the poorer counties at the 50 over game. South Northumberland would destroy Durham in the one-dayers right now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spunko12345 Posted November 27, 2018 Share Posted November 27, 2018 7 minutes ago, DieselDaisy said: Tennis There is a lot of movement between amateur and professional cricket - a lot more than other sports. Smaller counties like Northants actually target minor counties and club cricket, and you do get Cinderella stories, guys like Olly Stone making the England squad (who were packing boxes and playing a bit of club cricket two years ago). Conversely you have aging pros dipping back into club cricket. Every club is actually allowed ''one professional'', and under age sides and/or seconds often play clubs. The difference I suppose is duration. The professional game has 4-5 day cricket (first-class, i.e., tests and county cricket); the amateur game doesn't. I still maintain the better amateur clubs could beat the poorer counties at the 50 over game. South Northumberland would destroy Durham in the one-dayers right now. Yeah cricket would come pretty far down the list. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DieselDaisy Posted November 27, 2018 Share Posted November 27, 2018 1 minute ago, spunko12345 said: Yeah cricket would come pretty far down the list. As the prevalence of ''fat cricketers'' on the county circuit testifies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Len Cnut Posted November 27, 2018 Author Share Posted November 27, 2018 7 hours ago, DieselDaisy said: As the prevalence of ''fat cricketers'' on the county circuit testifies. Trailblazer Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Len Cnut Posted November 27, 2018 Author Share Posted November 27, 2018 1 hour ago, lukepowell1988 said: Football is so depressing right now not watched in a few weeks and can't really say I miss it Only cuz your lot are gettin' turned over Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DieselDaisy Posted November 27, 2018 Share Posted November 27, 2018 I've never watched a game of domestic football in about ten years. Just completely fell out of love with the sport. Still watch the Euros and world cup though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dazey Posted November 27, 2018 Share Posted November 27, 2018 7 minutes ago, DieselDaisy said: I've never watched a game of domestic football in about ten years. Just completely fell out of love with the sport. Still watch the Euros and world cup though. I've probably not watched a full match since the late 90's that I've given a shit about. Football as a sport bores the arse off of me. I'd actually much rather go see a game of cricket (a sport I know nothing about) because it's a lot of fun to watch whilst lounging around the ground getting pissed for 8 hours. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wasted Posted November 27, 2018 Share Posted November 27, 2018 (edited) 17 hours ago, spunko12345 said: If you could be put into the body of a premier league footballer but with your skill levels how long into a match do you think you could last before being exposed? I could probably get about 10 minutes into a game if we kicked off. Just pass it sideways then jog forward into their half. Even proper players miscontrole every now and again so that could buy me a few more touches and minutes. It would be different if they kicked off because the first time the play came anywhere near me I'd be all over the place. Really you can’t hit a crossfield ball out for a throw in? Or over hit a corner? I’d take a long run up and drill the ball into the wall or the nuts of Stones so nobody noticed I was too skillful to play in the prem. Edited November 27, 2018 by wasted Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Len Cnut Posted November 28, 2018 Author Share Posted November 28, 2018 On 27/11/2018 at 6:52 AM, spunko12345 said: If you could be put into the body of a premier league footballer but with your skill levels how long into a match do you think you could last before being exposed? I could probably get about 10 minutes into a game if we kicked off. Just pass it sideways then jog forward into their half. Even proper players miscontrole every now and again so that could buy me a few more touches and minutes. It would be different if they kicked off because the first time the play came anywhere near me I'd be all over the place. Fuckin' 2 mins when I'm keeled over on the fuckin' touchline begging for a fag and wheezing like an asthmatic fatboy in year 7 doing the 100 metres on Sports Day On 27/11/2018 at 6:57 AM, spunko12345 said: My second question is which sport do you think there is the biggest gap between skill and ability of a pro and a rank amateur in how long it would take to be exposed. I was going to say snooker and it certainly would be as soon as I took my first shot but if the other guy was at the table he could just clear up for 10 minutes.so no one would know what I was like. So my top 3 is boxing (brutally exposed after 5 seconds) and 100 meter sprint (2 seconds) golf (first shot). Actually boxing would probably take longer, if I actually looked like a boxer and the other guy thought I was I could probably do a good impression of keeping my guard up and moving about so they don't tend to touch each other for about 15-20 seconds in. Certainly the first time the glove touched my face id be gone. Boxing, first round when he got the first solid one two in Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DieselDaisy Posted November 28, 2018 Share Posted November 28, 2018 1 hour ago, Len Cnut said: Fuckin' 2 mins when I'm keeled over on the fuckin' touchline begging for a fag and wheezing like an asthmatic fatboy in year 7 doing the 100 metres on Sports Day So in other words, you'd do about as well as Wayne Rooney in an England shirt? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wasted Posted November 29, 2018 Share Posted November 29, 2018 Martial was comparing himself to Ronaldo yesterday, so I guess I’m better than Martial. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wasted Posted November 29, 2018 Share Posted November 29, 2018 1 minute ago, lukepowell1988 said: Martial is the man I would be gutted if he goes Utd are such a mess it’s hard to say. It seems like Mourinho is sabotaging it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wasted Posted November 29, 2018 Share Posted November 29, 2018 (edited) 19 minutes ago, lukepowell1988 said: Martial has skill so do Lingard and Rashford but Mourinho isn't letting them play freely the board have not let him spend of a new CB our RB's are in there mid 30's there is a huge revamp needed in defense we also need a second striker for when Lukaku dips in form Lewandowski Varane and Alex Sandro would be the dream The problem is those 3 aren’t really workers in the Mourinho way. I think another manager could get more out of them. They are more high line players. But in a 4231 formation they are passengers. And Lukaku and Pogba aren’t Lampard and Drogba. I guess they could play like Belgium in WC if they had some transition mids like Witzel. Like Chong. But you can’t play on the break if the defense is weak. Varane would be a good one. Get MBappe too. I heard on radio it is the transfer policy at utd, they don’t go and get the players Mourinho wants. That’s why he’s sulking all the time. Getting rid of Lukaku and Sanchez and getting anyone really dangerous would be something. Edited November 29, 2018 by wasted Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DieselDaisy Posted November 29, 2018 Share Posted November 29, 2018 Martial? The Roman poet famous for his Epigrams? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wasted Posted November 29, 2018 Share Posted November 29, 2018 3 minutes ago, DieselDaisy said: Martial? The Roman poet famous for his Epigrams? He invented MMA. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DieselDaisy Posted November 29, 2018 Share Posted November 29, 2018 6 minutes ago, wasted said: He invented MMA. There is a Jesus also playing football. Yes, Jesus of Nazareth has probably spit-roasted two floozies and totaled a Ferrari - too much of the ''water into wine'' allegedly? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wasted Posted November 29, 2018 Share Posted November 29, 2018 1 minute ago, DieselDaisy said: There is a Jesus also playing football. Yes, Jesus of Nazareth has probably spit-roasted two floozies and totaled a Ferrari - too much of the ''water into wine'' allegedly? Jesus plays for City. The second coming was like a reunion tour. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DieselDaisy Posted November 29, 2018 Share Posted November 29, 2018 2 minutes ago, wasted said: Jesus plays for City. The second coming was like a reunion tour. You'd have thought he would have played for a Jerusalem based club. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wasted Posted November 29, 2018 Share Posted November 29, 2018 2 minutes ago, DieselDaisy said: You'd have thought he would have played for a Jerusalem based club. Religious references aren’t my forte. Over to Mel Gibson. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spunko12345 Posted December 1, 2018 Share Posted December 1, 2018 Anyone else starting to get really wound up by Pep. I cannot stand another interview with that smug badly twat. And while we are at it, it's time for man city to be 're evaluated. All this "We don't like the champions league because we had loads of fans when we were shit in the first division" absolute load of bollocks. I hate teams who give up before kick off because they are facing Man City... are you fucking kidding me. It's Man Fucking City. They may be good now but deep down they are fucking shit. A shit team like Southampton or Everton. Fucking shit and they are starting to get ahead of themselves. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wasted Posted December 1, 2018 Share Posted December 1, 2018 Aguero was my captain. Typical fantasy bullshit. Spend all week making selections then everyone is injured or on the bench. Same thing happened with Barca, nobody really tried against them. Just take the small L. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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