Another coffee thread.

[DieselDaisy]

Bryson offers the best explanation of the difference between British and American humour.

But it is certainly true that wit is not as venerated a quality here (America) as it is in Britain. John Cleese once said: 'an Englishman would rather be told he was a bad lover than that he had no sense of humour.'....I do not think there are many Americans who would subscribe to that view. Humour here is like good driving skills or having a nose for wine or being able to pronounce feuilleton correctly - commendable, worthy of admiration but not actually vital. It in't that there are no people with an active sense of humour in America, just far fewer. When you encounter one it's a little as I imagine it must be when two Masons recognize each other across a crowded room.

And on drinking in America:

I have discovered to my dismay that when an American friend invites you out for a beer that is exactly what he means - a beer. You sip it delicately for about 45 minutes until it is gone and then your companion says, ''hey, that was fun. Let's do it again next year.'

[Redhead74]

Tea seems to go better with food too?

No way. It depends entirely on what you're eating. Tea is lovely with toast and marmalade but a croissant or brioche needs coffee. It's like red and white wine, one just goes so well with certain foods, and vice versa.

I have two coffees each day. One in the morning: a Nespresso capsule (the dark green ones) which is really delicious, followed by a cafe latte with two sugars at about 10am. If I'm really tired I might have another at lunchtime, but otherwise I'm fine for the rest of the day. I drink wine in the afternoon.

Thank God you rocked up. These plebeians have such awful taste in coffee.

*cue whining about Melbournites being a buncha wankers about coffee*

Right? Fuck the percolator coffee. It's the worst coffee I've ever had, I'd rather have instant Moccona than drips of coffee dribbling into a pot that then has to keep the coffee warm because its so slow coming through, so that by the time you're actually drinking it its basically stale coffee.

[The Real McCoy]

I'm not a fan of tea. The taste has never appealed to me. That said, we have a peppermint tea at work that's pretty decent. I'll drink it every now and then.

[Dazey]

I have discovered to my dismay that when an American friend invites you out for a beer that is exactly what he means - a beer. You sip it delicately for about 45 minutes until it is gone and then your companion says, ''hey, that was fun. Let's do it again next year.'

Imagine my surprise when having lunch with a couple of ladies in San Diego that drinking a jug of beer was not acceptable.

[Johnny Drama]

I have discovered to my dismay that when an American friend invites you out for a beer that is exactly what he means - a beer. You sip it delicately for about 45 minutes until it is gone and then your companion says, ''hey, that was fun. Let's do it again next year.'

Imagine my surprise when having lunch with a couple of ladies in San Diego that drinking a jug of beer was not acceptable.

@ DD - what so more than one is off limits?

@ Dazey - life isn't worth living. Can't you order a jug without looking like an arse?

[Guest Len B'stard]

I have discovered to my dismay that when an American friend invites you out for a beer that is exactly what he means - a beer. You sip it delicately for about 45 minutes until it is gone and then your companion says, ''hey, that was fun. Let's do it again next year.'

Imagine my surprise when having lunch with a couple of ladies in San Diego that drinking a jug of beer was not acceptable.

How come in the films they sell em in jugs then? Are you telling me telly ain't real?

[The Real McCoy]

Enjoying a cup right now.

[Dazey]

I have discovered to my dismay that when an American friend invites you out for a beer that is exactly what he means - a beer. You sip it delicately for about 45 minutes until it is gone and then your companion says, ''hey, that was fun. Let's do it again next year.'

Imagine my surprise when having lunch with a couple of ladies in San Diego that drinking a jug of beer was not acceptable.

How come in the films they sell em in jugs then? Are you telling me telly ain't real?

They sell them in jugs to share between groups of people

[wasted]

I read a Bryson once. He just went round the UK finding different places to get a coffee.

[DieselDaisy]

Don't shoot the messenger, I am merely quoting Bryson here. But the Yanks are not boozy like us. Prohibition and everything. It actually historically goes back to the puritan settlers. The very first Americans were reverently, anti-alcohol. I have often thought that the east coast is boozier than the west. New York looks like it might have a few drinking dens. But still, they do not have that boozy culture like Britain has.

[Lio]

Don't shoot the messenger, I am merely quoting Bryson here. But the Yanks are not boozy like us. Prohibition and everything. It actually historically goes back to the puritan settlers. The very first Americans were reverently, anti-alcohol. I have often thought that the east coast is boozier than the west. New York looks like it might have a few drinking dens. But still, they do not have that boozy culture like Britain has.

I think no other country has a boozy culture like Britain

[DieselDaisy]

That makes me very proud.

[wasted]

I used to think everyone was drinking 6 cans of special brew on the rec before going into town. but it was only me.

[Bumble's Bridge Pickup]

How many cups of coffee a day do you drink?

2-10. Depends.

Light roast or dark roast?

Both are fine. Currently going through a pack of light roast, next one will be dark.

Cream or sugar? Booze?

Nothing usually. Maybe milk in the weekends.

Drip coffee? Percolator?

The hell is a percolator? Drip coffee.

[Guest Len B'stard]

I just used coffeemate

*sits back and watches all the coffee poofs have a heart attack*

[Johnny Drama]

I just used coffeemate

*sits back and watches all the coffee poofs have a heart attack*

1. Bellend.

2. We're bigger pissheads than you Pom bastards anyday.

EDIT: I actually love eating Coffee Mate straight out the packet.

Edited March 31, 2014 by Johnny Drama

[Guest Len B'stard]

Bollocks, all u soft flavoured vodka nancys probably couldnt make it past the 6th pint of bitter

[Johnny Drama]

Bitter?

[Guest Len B'stard]

Exactly fuckin fizzy pop drinkin' soft lads!

Edited March 31, 2014 by sugaraylen

[Lithium]

oi bruv u got a rizla?

[Guest Len B'stard]

Only if you've got some skunk

[wasted]

i got a bottle of dandelion and burdock for 69p. i was drinking at the bus stop and got stung by nettles.

[Johnny Drama]

Exactly fuckin fizzy pop drinkin' soft lads!

Yeah but who calls it bitter you wank? It's all bloody lager, innit? Like us here, we got Vic Bitter and Carlton Draught. The names are bollocks, its common cat piss lager.

[Dazey]

Exactly fuckin fizzy pop drinkin' soft lads!

Yeah but who calls it bitter you wank? It's all bloody lager, innit?

Err, no it fuckin' isn't you dizzy convict twonk!

[Guest Len B'stard]

I dunno man, i don't fuckin' brew the bastards but i know how to get a round in and i know that lagers lager and bitter is bitter, I ain't taking evening classes in the shit so I couldn't tell ya exactly what the difference is, I'm sure one of these clued up fuckers like Username or young Mcleod could tell you the difference.