The Official SOCCER Thread 2015/2016

[PappyTron]

13 minutes ago, DieselDaisy said:

Oh it is important - very. But it is also unequivocally a dump. 'An Important dump' then. Unlike Hausmann's Paris with its splendid boulevards.

You are writing history backwards - you are being anachronistic. You are assuming that London always had, and was always destined to have, this capital status it has now. This is simply not true. Have you never heard of the heptarchy, Northumberia etc. Heck, Londonium was merely a trading settlement during the Roman era. It was not a garrison town. Have you never heard of the feudal system, the Percies of Northumberland. My chaps could ride into London and sack that cesspit. We were a super power. Charles I lost the capital but put up a considerable fight by drawing his support from the north. Scotland remained a power until the 17th century - Graeme will back me up here. London was not that important.

London is one of those faceless charmless abominations - New York is another as is Vegas and LA - which the twentieth century seemed to specialise in. You can stay in London for twenty years and not say a word to anybody. Nobody cares. Everybody is shuffling around making money. They will probably kick you in the street if you fell down. Compare this to the north. It is much easier to strike a conversation with a northerner. If you said ''hello'' to a stranger in the south they would probably look at you as if you have asked them to ''show off their testicles'', with that weird slapped-arse social embarrassment look Londoners seem to revel in.  I have a relative who has lived in London for thirty years, as PR for Dawn French, and she loathes it; whenever she returns to the north east she walks the coastline to recuperate. She unfortunately has to stay there for her work like many poor bastards. 

We were a super power.

Are you aware of what an "operative word" is? The key word in your above ramble is "were". Graveyards are full of gunslingers who were the quickest on the draw. Then they weren't. Likewise, the north is full of families who used to be hot shit, now they aren't.

It is easier to strike up a conversation with another northerner because you are probably related. Some sort of sister-wife or something.

Do I honestly have to write down the key differences between the north and south? I'll write nothing but 100% fact

1 - The south has near enough all of the best universities and schools in the nation

2 - London is the financial and cultural capital of the nation

3 - People in the north are less educated

4 - People in the north are fatter

5 - People in the north live much shorter lives

6 - The north has much higher unemployment

7 - Mortgages in the north are considered much higher risk than those in the south

8 - People in the north are much more unhealthy, with increased diabetes, heart attack, and in need of transplants

 

So, in short, you are less educated, fatter, are poorer, less likely to have a job, less able to get a mortgage and more likely to default on said mortgage, more in need of constant hospital treatment, and are going to die sooner. Oh, but you are more apt to talk to strangers.

[DieselDaisy]

1 hour ago, PappyTron said:

 

 

Are you aware of what an "operative word" is? The key word in your above ramble is "were". Graveyards are full of gunslingers who were the quickest on the draw. Then they weren't. Likewise, the north is full of families who used to be hot shit, now they aren't.

It is easier to strike up a conversation with another northerner because you are probably related. Some sort of sister-wife or something.

Do I honestly have to write down the key differences between the north and south? I'll write nothing but 100% fact

1 - The south has near enough all of the best universities and schools in the nation

2 - London is the financial and cultural capital of the nation

3 - People in the north are less educated

4 - People in the north are fatter

5 - People in the north live much shorter lives

6 - The north has much higher unemployment

7 - Mortgages in the north are considered much higher risk than those in the south

8 - People in the north are much more unhealthy, with increased diabetes, heart attack, and in need of transplants

 

So, in short, you are less educated, fatter, are poorer, less likely to have a job, less able to get a mortgage and more likely to default on said mortgage, more in need of constant hospital treatment, and are going to die sooner. Oh, but you are more apt to talk to strangers.

I like the fact that you have completely ignored the irrefutable fact that London is an ugly industrial shit hole whereas many of the cities in the north have a medieval genius. Anyone who looks at York Minster is transported to the sublime. Anyone who looks at the Millennium Wheel or Gherkin is instantly sick.

 

The rest is just a load of bigoted southern nonsense which should be dealt with all the disdain it quite frankly deserves. Mortgages and education - you are sounding like dazey; (or my grandma when I mentioned the fact that I wanted to form a rock band when I was sixteen)! None of this means anything to me pertaining to the greatness of a country.

[PappyTron]

2 minutes ago, DieselDaisy said:

I like the fact that you have completely ignored the irrefutable fact that London is an ugly industrial shit hole whereas many of the cities in the north have a medieval genius. Anyone who looks at York Minster is transported to the sublime. Anyone who looks at the Millennium Wheel or Gherkin is instantly sick.

 

The rest is just a load of bigoted southern nonsense which should be dealt with all the disdain it quite frankly deserves. Mortgages and education - you are sounding like dazey; (or my grandma when I mentioned the fact that I wanted to form a rock band when I was sixteen)! None of this means anything to me pertaining to the greatness of a country.

It is most certainly not a fact, much less an irrefutable one, that London is an industrial shit hole. We have huge numbers of green spaces, lakes, ponds, parks and commons. What you are really complaining about is that you don't like modern buildings and prefer things that are of an older age. That you live in the north is a fantastically fortuitous celebration then, as you can live in your wattle and daub tramp hole, replete with outdoor toilet, straw on the floor and water drawn by hand from the nearest well, and your sister-wife can join you.

You say that facts are "bigoted southern nonsense" which is just the northern way of saying "you are right, but I don't want to admit it". You lot, up north, ARE less educated than those in the south, you ARE fatter, you ARE dying at younger ages, you ARE poorer, you ARE higher insurance risks and you ARE less likely to have a job. Those are 100% fact, but in your Dingle mind all that matter is who has the oldest buildings. The north is full of old buildings because nobody wants to invest the money to update them, which is why you have entire areas that look like something from a fucking Hovis ad.

Your idea of the measure of greatness is pining for an age that you had nothing to do with and which was left behind quite willingly by those who did live in it. Did you ever meet Miser? You sound a lot like him, you know; do things have to be "gritty" to get your seal of approval?

[DieselDaisy]

5 minutes ago, PappyTron said:

It is most certainly not a fact, much less an irrefutable one, that London is an industrial shit hole. We have huge numbers of green spaces, lakes, ponds, parks and commons. What you are really complaining about is that you don't like modern buildings and prefer things that are of an older age. That you live in the north is a fantastically fortuitous celebration then, as you can live in your wattle and daub tramp hole, replete with outdoor toilet, straw on the floor and water drawn by hand from the nearest well, and your sister-wife can join you.

Yes right,

I'm not ashamed to prefer the above over your - Londonstan's - mosques, honking kebab shops and ISIS recruitment centres.

Oh, and we're better than cricket than you.

Edited April 10, 2016 by DieselDaisy

[PappyTron]

5 minutes ago, DieselDaisy said:

Yes right,

I'm not ashamed to prefer the above over your - Londonstan's - mosques, honking kebab shops and ISIS recruitment centres.

Oh, and we're better than cricket than you.

Oh. You actually are in Durham. You poor, dear child. Do you not have a more gritty picture to share? Do I need to show pictures of Saint Paul's or of Oxford's dreaming spires? Anything that you can show me from the north I can show you from the south, only I can also show you the education tables; the NHS statistics for obesity, life expectancy, morbidity; the insurance data for the north vs south...do I need to go on? You keep on saying about London being home to ISIS, but it's Bradford and Manchester where a lot of the extremist Muslims are.

[DieselDaisy]

19 hours ago, PappyTron said:

Oh. You actually are in Durham. You poor, dear child. Do you not have a more gritty picture to share? Do I need to show pictures of Saint Paul's or of Oxford's dreaming spires? Anything that you can show me from the north I can show you from the south, only I can also show you the education tables; the NHS statistics for obesity, life expectancy, morbidity; the insurance data for the north vs south...do I need to go on? You keep on saying about London being home to ISIS, but it's Bradford and Manchester where a lot of the extremist Muslims are.

Ever been to Luton?

[Len Cnut]

People see what they want to see in Luton.  There are issues surrounding extremism due to  a certain concentration of muslims in certain areas there but this notion that it's some kind of ghetto is just ridiculous.  There's a core extremely hardworking community there as well as a great many Asian run businesses, some of which that have become franchises, as well as accountants firms, lawyers, doctors, property millionaires, all from the muslim community in Luton.  Also, Luton is about 40 something km2, Bradford is 300 something, just to put in perspective how tiny an area you're talking about.  There's probably more rich well off  hardworking successful asian folk in Luton than any other place in the home counties.  I know a guy there who invested in property on Hollywood Boulevard a few yards from Graumans for crying out loud.  I suppose by the typical mentality he's probably siphoning off profits to ISIS right?

The only people from there that complain about pakis taking over and all that are just basically good for nothing jobsworths who sign on and sit around drinking special brew, the rest of the hardworking (working class or otherwise) white majority there (and they are the majority) are also hardworking folks that live and work alongside muslims etc and couldn't give a fuck.

Edited April 10, 2016 by Len B'stard

[PappyTron]

47 minutes ago, DieselDaisy said:

Ever been to Luton?

I don't believe that I have, no. Is there a point to asking the question? I mean, what does Luton have to do with the north/south divide? I think that said divide has been covered, anyway; northerners are fatter, die sooner, have less money, require more hospital visits, have less education and more fingers. I deal in facts, Daisy, whilst you wish to deal in Islamophobic rabble rousing. I guess since Scargill's no longer around you Dingles have to find something else to moan about from your Hovis hovels.

[Graeme]

 Pappy vs. Dies'. This is gold.

[Len Cnut]

I'd join in but I can't, I'm only taking the mick when i have a go at the north, i have a certain fondness for it really.  I should do, half the music i listen to is made from people from it though they do say learning an instrument requires a lot of downtime which stands in support of Pappys point.  Which is unique because usually a young bodybuilders arse does that

Edited April 11, 2016 by Len B'stard

[Graeme]

3 minutes ago, Len B'stard said:

I'd join in but I can't, I'm only taking the mick when i have a go at the north, i have a certain fondness for it really.  I should do, half the music i listen to is made from people from it though they do say learning an instrument requires a lot of downtime which stands in support of Pappys point.  Which is unique because usually a young bodybuilders arse does that

Haha, I should probably defend it too, after all, I live there... But I live in a pretty affluent part of it, so Pappy's stats are probably not representative... Lancaster isn't Preston or Bolton or Barrow...

[PappyTron]

Just now, Graeme said:

Haha, I should probably defend it too, after all, I live there... But I live in a pretty affluent part of it, so Pappy's stats are probably not representative... Lancaster isn't Preston or Bolton or Barrow...

I do believe that the phrase "the north has pockets of wealth in a sea of poverty whilst the south has pockets of poverty in a sea of wealth" is apt.

You're from East Ayrshire, which is south in your fine nation. p

[Graeme]

13 minutes ago, PappyTron said:

I do believe that the phrase "the north has pockets of wealth in a sea of poverty whilst the south has pockets of poverty in a sea of wealth" is apt.

You're from East Ayrshire, which is south in your fine nation. p

Lancaster's lovely (if a little on the quiet side) I believe it has one of the lowest crime rates in England and Wales...

I suppose where I'm from is south, relatively speaking. It feels more like West-Central Scotland culturally because of its proximity to Glasgow. Although where I live is pretty rural, it's 25 minutes on a train to the heart of our biggest city. I would probably say that Southern Scotland really begins around the latitude of Kilmarnock/Ayr, anywhere that getting to Glasgow within an hour by public transport ceases to be practicable... So when people ask where I'm from, I just tend to say "The West Coast".

[PappyTron]

7 minutes ago, Graeme said:

Lancaster's lovely (if a little on the quiet side) I believe it has one of the lowest crime rates in England and Wales...

I suppose where I'm from is south, relatively speaking. It feels more like West-Central Scotland culturally because of its proximity to Glasgow. Although where I live is pretty rural, it's 25 minutes on a train to the heart of our biggest city. I would probably say that Southern Scotland really begins around the latitude of Kilmarnock/Ayr, anywhere that getting to Glasgow within an hour by public transport ceases to be practicable... So when people ask where I'm from, I just tend to say "The West Coast".

Och aye, West Coast, bitch!

So, is Daisy ever going to elucidate us with facts, or will he forever stick to prepubescent emotives? That's rhetorical, I feel.

[Len Cnut]

15 minutes ago, PappyTron said:

Och aye, West Coast, bitch!

So, is Daisy ever going to elucidate us with facts, or will he forever stick to prepubescent emotives? That's rhetorical, I feel.

Och aye, whoops a daisy!  Yes, the Scottish are allowed to be transvestites!'

If you really think about that episode it's just two blokes talking for 30 minutes yet it's side splittingly hilairious, thats quite amazing i think, i mean you couldn't get much more of a restricted setting, could you?

[PappyTron]

9 minutes ago, Len B'stard said:

Och aye, whoops a daisy!  Yes, the Scottish are allowed to be transvestites!'

If you really think about that episode it's just two blokes talking for 30 minutes yet it's side splittingly hilairious, thats quite amazing i think, i mean you couldn't get much more of a restricted setting, could you?

Now, now, Lenny; we are here to bash the north of England, not our kilt wearing friends over the wall.

[Len Cnut]

1 minute ago, PappyTron said:

Now, now, Lenny; we are here to bash the north of England, not our kilt wearing friends over the wall.

Was watching Orson Welles Macbeth earlier, recall thinking 'fuckin jocks, Shakespeare had em pegged, they want power they cant handle'

[PappyTron]

15 minutes ago, Len B'stard said:

Was watching Orson Welles Macbeth earlier, recall thinking 'fuckin jocks, Shakespeare had em pegged, they want power they cant handle'

A disgraceful thing to say. The Scottish are a fine and proud people with noble blood and heritage; I will not have you besmirch Graeme's kith and kin in such a base fashion.

On the subject of football, I am happy that United lost as I don't want them to get in the CL, but at the same time sad that Spurs won as their fans are insufferably cocky.

Edited April 11, 2016 by PappyTron

[DieselDaisy]

This is actually round 2 in ''Pappy v myself'' - formally we had a argument about England all-rounders. Pappy, when you discuss wealth you are not discussing it in real terms; I can buy a northern mansion for the same price as you could buy a grotty flat in Shepard's Bush. And yes, there is the beer thing. I can get colossally inebriated for the same price as it would cost you to buy one Shandy Bass, ''London prices''. Concerts and sporting events also are cheaper here.

Don 't forget that Britain's greatness is a product of the north. Manchester cotton; Liverpool and Glasgow shipping; Newcastle coal; Dundee Jute; Sheffield Steel - the British Empire was built by the North.

Regarding obesity, there as some fatties waddling around southern cities. Technically I'm sure you are correct but it almost becomes a lost, rather academic, point when you regard the fact that the British in toto have the highest obesity rates in Europe, and are only second to the Americans in lardiness.

Edited April 11, 2016 by DieselDaisy

[PappyTron]

49 minutes ago, DieselDaisy said:

This is actually round 2 in ''Pappy v myself'' - formally we had a argument about England all-rounders. Pappy, when you discuss wealth you are not discussing it in real terms; I can buy a northern mansion for the same price as you could buy a grotty flat in Shepard's Bush. And yes, there is the beer thing. I can get colossally inebriated for the same price as it would cost you to buy one Shandy Bass, ''London prices''. Concerts and sporting events also are cheaper here.

Don 't forget that Britain's greatness is a product of the north. Manchester cotton; Liverpool and Glasgow shipping; Newcastle coal; Dundee Jute; Sheffield Steel - the British Empire was built by the North.

Regarding obesity, there as some fatties waddling around southern cities. Technically I'm sure you are correct but it almost becomes a lost, rather academic, point when you regard the fact that the British in toto have the highest obesity rates in Europe, and are only second to the Americans in lardiness.

The real terms of wealth is who has the most of it. That would be us, down south. That you can buy a large house in Hull for what I would pay for a small apartment in Dulwich Village, is besides the point; the fact remains that we in the south have the money in the first place. Your sum point is that the north is better because things are cheap. Well, crack whores are also cheap, but that doesn't make them better than a £500 an hour escort, and the man who can afford the escort can also afford your cheap northern whores should he so wish it.

Britain's greatness has always been the reach of the empire; the wealth that flooded into Liverpool and London from far off climes such as China, India and the West Indies. Along with that we have the historic industrial towns up north. However, the true power in any country's economy is the banking, because it is effectively infinite whereas coal and steel are limited, which is why all of the northern industries have either been shut down or outsourced, whereas London has exchanges worth TRILLIONS per day.

Yes, there are fat people in the south. However, the fattest people AND the most fat people are found in the north; trying to say that both areas are fat doesn't wash with me. Sorry. Likewise, we have some very uneducated people in the south and some very poor schools, but the fact remains that we are, on the whole, better educated and have by FAR the best universities. Your insistence that your cheap beer somehow balances the scale of the north's lack of comparative education is perhaps symptomatic of the north's obsession with the former and disdain for getting the latter.

Edited April 11, 2016 by PappyTron

[DieselDaisy]

You do not know the difference between wages, and real (adjusted for inflation) wages?

The problem with your arguments is that you are rather proving my point! I mention northern hospitality, rugged coastlines, romantic windswept castles, and you reply with ''education'', ''mortgages'' and ''money', replete with scornful southern arrogance. You yourself are actually acting out the southern archetype, the Chelsea supporter ''loadsa money'' routine. My argument that Londoners are money obsessed plastic people who would ''step over you if you collapsed on the street'', is rather validated by your very replies! (I would have preferred a counter-argument by you pertaining to village cricket, churches - or some historical debate regarding the south/London during World War Two, but alas...).

Edited April 11, 2016 by DieselDaisy

[sturginho]

The Teyn are going up!

[PappyTron]

11 hours ago, DieselDaisy said:

You do not know the difference between wages, and real (adjusted for inflation) wages?

The problem with your arguments is that you are rather proving my point! I mention northern hospitality, rugged coastlines, romantic windswept castles, and you reply with ''education'', ''mortgages'' and ''money', replete with scornful southern arrogance. You yourself are actually acting out the southern archetype, the Chelsea supporter ''loadsa money'' routine. My argument that Londoners are money obsessed plastic people who would ''step over you if you collapsed on the street'', is rather validated by your very replies! (I would have preferred a counter-argument by you pertaining to village cricket, churches - or some historical debate regarding the south/London during World War Two, but alas...).

Of course I understand the difference, but you seem to be completely missing the point. The fundamental point is that ultimately the south, not the north, is the powerhouse of the nation; the discussion of finances is simply showing that point as finances always gravitate to where the power is, and you northerners like nothing better than to moan about when "Manchester had the cotton". You have singularly failed to answer any of the points that I have asked you about the north and your fatness, ill-health, lack of education and lack of educational facilities. Like I said, on average you northerners are fatter, live shorter lives, are more unhealthy and are less educated, yet your SOLE counterpoint is "we have cheap beer". That's it; "we have cheap beer" is all you have managed to say, because the rest of what you have claimed is hogwash. You wanted to talk about castles until I pointed out that most of the nation's castles are in the south of England, not the north, then you wanted to talk about the beauty and history of Durham, until I compared it to Oxford. You simply cannot deal in facts, instead mewling about "education" which is about the most northern thing possible, since you put it in brackets. "Oh, that soft southern education! Won't 'elp much down't pit, mother!" And you wonder why northerners are seen as six-fingered, sister fucking Dingles.

Come back when you have facts and not inbred twaddle. "We have castles, Pappy! Castles!!". PMSL.

[JeanGenie]

I never want to get into an argument with you, Pappy.  ?

Edited April 11, 2016 by JeanGenie

[PappyTron]

5 minutes ago, JeanGenie said:

I never want to get into an argument with you, Pappy.  ?