Axls Rocket Queen Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 Thats just unpleasant from them all. I say it's crazy to get married before living together. Hey I find it crazy to not rent before buying together (even though I would still skip that step of the right girl turns up)I agree.I think he deals with it better than me, maybe because he was brought up in that world, but he's more like "well I know they mean well and it comes from a place of caring about us, though I don't agree with them" whereas I tend to just get pretty pissed off about it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dazey Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 (edited) This may be a totally foreign concept to most people here, but I could do with venting anyway.My boyfriend and I are coming up against some negativity from people with regards to us moving in together. The majority of people have been supportive, but those who have said negative things have been really vocal about it. All because we're not married. His mum really isn't happy, and brought up things like the fact we broke up briefly 4 years ago we'd only been going out a few months and he at the time was moving home to Northern Ireland for the foreseeable future, so I don't even get how that's relevant. I had an older friend from church take me aside and basically say "as a church we don't agree with what you're doing, but we're here for you" which was a bit weird...and he met up with one of his good friends last night who basically said we're doing the wrong thing, and if we move in together we're going to eventually break up and both of us lose our relationships with God Is it inappropriate to start saying to these people that if they have nothing nice/supportive to say, then I'd just rather they not voice their opinion at all? Would it be mean of me to suggest telling them to go fuck themselves? Also this is probably god's fault so you should both become atheists and live happily ever after. Edited January 30, 2015 by Dazey 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lithium Posted January 30, 2015 Author Share Posted January 30, 2015 I truly long for the day when people realize that we're living in the 21st century and cast aside all these pointless religious morals. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Axls Rocket Queen Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 Would it be mean of me to suggest telling them to go fuck themselves? That may have been my first instinct too Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magisme Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 Sounds like a lot of people in ARQ's world need to get laid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lithium Posted January 30, 2015 Author Share Posted January 30, 2015 Or come to their senses and become atheists. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Len Cnut Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 (edited) Would it be mean of me to suggest telling them to go fuck themselves? That may have been my first instinct too Nah, don't be rude about it. Look at it this way how often do you see em anyway? And when you've moved you'll see less of em. As long as it ain't effecting you and your fellas desire to go move out and live together etc sod em, let em say what they like, don't trip on em though cuz...look, no matter how much you're right callin' his Mum an interfering old dragon can only cause acrimony y'know? And add fuel to a potential fire of 'look, see, it's her, our lad was such a good 'un til he met her!' The worst thing you can do in a situation where people think you're a wrong un is to go and do some wrong un type behaviour and prove em right. Just grit your teeth and bear it, in fact smile, act as if they're sweet and quaint and just go about your lives, it'll piss em off more whilst maintaining a clean sheet. Or at very least a cleaner sheet than you'll have by goin' 'well you know what you can do if you don't approve, don't ya you knackered old bag!' Turn it into like 'it's so sweet that you're concerned about us, the fact that you care enough to get so worked up about what we're doing', switch it on em. Edited January 30, 2015 by Len B'stard 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Axls Rocket Queen Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 I wouldn't say it to his mum obviously like she's kind of entitled to voice her opinion if she wants. It's the friends and acquaintances telling us we're wrong that gets me...like what gives them the right to pass judgement? Plus, it's already confirmed so it's happening, so saying stuff like that isn't going to change anything, all they can possibly achieve is to make us feel bad and suck the excitement out of this, which is really a dick move if you ask me Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Who Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 So yeah, finally made the decision to take myself out of the 'love game'. Can one date, get laid and do what they have to do? Are there girls down with casually dating, I don't mean being fuck buddies but not "OMG WE'RE SO CLOSE AND EMOTIONALLY INTIMATE WE'RE GOING TO GET MARRIED", more like, just see each other once in a while, fuck, cuddle, watch a movie, go to dinner and do random things but not have it be the end all, emotionally intense be all? I have a lot of shit I need to get together academically, emotionally, mentally and physically. I really don't have time to love someone else because I need to learn to love myself; I don't have the time to be the custodian of someone else's emotional needs when I'm not regulating my own. I can't support someone else when I don't even have a degree. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Len Cnut Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 (edited) Oh its friends and aqquaintances? Well look, same applies sort of, whats the point in like, just narking people off, especially if they're like, his inner circle. Don't...put him in that position where there's a divide between you and his mates. Like what do they say exactly? It all depends I mean there's REALLY rude ways of expressing that shit and then there's just your average Dot Cotton curtain twitching busy-body stuff. So yeah, finally made the decision to take myself out of the 'love game'. Can one date, get laid and do what they have to do? Are there girls down with casually dating, I don't mean being fuck buddies but not "OMG WE'RE SO CLOSE AND EMOTIONALLY INTIMATE WE'RE GOING TO GET MARRIED", more like, just see each other once in a while, fuck, cuddle, watch a movie, go to dinner and do random things but not have it be the end all, emotionally intense be all? I have a lot of shit I need to get together academically, emotionally, mentally and physically. I really don't have time to love someone else because I need to learn to love myself; I don't have the time to be the custodian of someone else's emotional needs when I'm not regulating my own. I can't support someone else when I don't even have a degree.Perhaps the fact that you're always functioning under some sort of resolution thats the problem, the dramatic thing of 'FROM HENCEFORTH I SHALL DO THUSLY!', how about just getting the stick out of your arse and just acting normal? It shows an astounding level of self involvement that your behaviour in regards to human relationships is governed by how much you think you're so hard done by etc. What you're saying amounts to 'i can't be fucked to care about anybody so I'm gonna look for this super fit bird who just sorts me out with a bit on slow days and fucks off before the sound of her breathing starts to irritate me' well we'd all like a bit of that sunbeam but you're not being realistic, are you? You've got to consider what you actually offer a partner as opposed to just what you can rinse out of them.Honestly i think you should learn to look after yourself before even considering a relationship, get a place, get a job, learn to cook, learn not to be such a fanny all the time, prove yourself, if only to yourself. That way when a bird leaves you you won't be reaching for the wilkinsons so quickly cuz you'll have something to fall back on, a life, a job, a circle of friends. Edited January 30, 2015 by Len B'stard Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Len Cnut Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 I truly long for the day when people realize that we're living in the 21st century and cast aside all these pointless religious morals.I'LL CHOP YOUR HEAD OFF YOU BLASPHEMOUS SWINE! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Who Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 Oh its friends and aqquaintances? Well look, same applies sort of, whats the point in like, just narking people off, especially if they're like, his inner circle. Don't...put him in that position where there's a divide between you and his mates. Like what do they say exactly? It all depends I mean there's REALLY rude ways of expressing that shit and then there's just your average Dot Cotton curtain twitching busy-body stuff. So yeah, finally made the decision to take myself out of the 'love game'. Can one date, get laid and do what they have to do? Are there girls down with casually dating, I don't mean being fuck buddies but not "OMG WE'RE SO CLOSE AND EMOTIONALLY INTIMATE WE'RE GOING TO GET MARRIED", more like, just see each other once in a while, fuck, cuddle, watch a movie, go to dinner and do random things but not have it be the end all, emotionally intense be all? I have a lot of shit I need to get together academically, emotionally, mentally and physically. I really don't have time to love someone else because I need to learn to love myself; I don't have the time to be the custodian of someone else's emotional needs when I'm not regulating my own. I can't support someone else when I don't even have a degree.Perhaps the fact that you're always functioning under some sort of resolution thats the problem, the dramatic thing of 'FROM HENCEFORTH I SHALL DO THUSLY!', how about just getting the stick out of your arse and just acting normal? It shows an astounding level of self involvement that your behaviour in regards to human relationships is governed by how much you think you're so hard done by etc. What you're saying amounts to 'i can't be fucked to care about anybody so I'm gonna look for this super fit bird who just sorts me out with a bit on slow days and fucks off before the sound of her breathing starts to irritate me' well we'd all like a bit of that sunbeam but you're not being realistic, are you? You've got to consider what you actually offer a partner as opposed to just what you can rinse out of them.Honestly i think you should learn to look after yourself before even considering a relationship, get a place, get a job, learn to cook, learn not to be such a fanny all the time, prove yourself, if only to yourself. That way when a bird leaves you you won't be reaching for the wilkinsons so quickly cuz you'll have something to fall back on, a life, a job, a circle of friends.No, you're pretty much right.I also have to work on my narcissism. And just for once enjoy being me and fix me and live with that person before I be with someone else.Talking to Erica's mother and getting that closure helped me cross this bridge.I've always wanted to 'save' others, help them. Well, "Physician, heal thyself." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Axls Rocket Queen Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 (edited) Oh its friends and aqquaintances? Well look, same applies sort of, whats the point in like, just narking people off, especially if they're like, his inner circle. Don't...put him in that position where there's a divide between you and his mates. Like what do they say exactly? It all depends I mean there's REALLY rude ways of expressing that shit and then there's just your average Dot Cotton curtain twitching busy-body stuff. Direct quotes from the guy last night "you're making a huge mistake...you got hurt before and it will happen again...if you move in together you'll start having sex, it will destroy your relationship with each other and with God". Boyfriend even told him that over Christmas he was having a stress about if it was the right thing to do, if we were ready to move in, was praying about it and then felt immensely content and at peace with it all...his response? "I don't think that's from God, you're doing the wrong thing" I have a lot of shit I need to get together academically...Totally read that as 'anatomically' the first time Edited January 30, 2015 by Axls Rocket Queen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lithium Posted January 30, 2015 Author Share Posted January 30, 2015 (edited) I am so amazed that there actually still people like this in existence in a modern developed country. "Oh, no, you might have sex before you're married and then you'll be BANISHED TO HELL". what the fuck man. Edited January 30, 2015 by Lithium 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris1989 Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 Shit, I'm going to hell then. Might just have to confirm that later. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Axls Rocket Queen Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 I am so amazed that there actually still people like this in existence in a modern developed country. "Oh, no, you might have sex before you're married and then you'll be BANISHED TO HELL". what the fuck man.It's actually crazy, like that is so the opposite of what the Christian gospel is all about! People are too attached to their traditions, rules and scaremongering Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZoSoRose Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 I want to posylt a funny gif about miser but im on my phone so i cant Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Len Cnut Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 Direct quotes from the guy last night "you're making a huge mistake...you got hurt before and it will happen again...if you move in together you'll start having sex, it will destroy your relationship with each other and with God". Boyfriend even told him that over Christmas he was having a stress about if it was the right thing to do, if we were ready to move in, was praying about it and then felt immensely content and at peace with it all...his response? "I don't think that's from God, you're doing the wrong thing"OK, no, that actually is out of order. Alright well, in that situation I'd probably be like, OK, whatever I'm doing I'm answerable to God, right? So thats that bit sorted, so for your part, can you REALLY not do better than pour scorn, i mean if you actually care about us as people and divine judgement isn't your department where does that leave you and your comments in relation to us? Can you not just wish us well? Pray that whatever happens it works out for the best for us? Lets be clear about this we don't NEED your support but the fact that you're not giving it shows clearly what side of the fence you are on in terms of being our mates, thanks, perhaps that was Gods way of showing us who the arseholes in our life are, congratulations.Thats really mean-spirited...what they said I mean, not what I said Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Len Cnut Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 I am so amazed that there actually still people like this in existence in a modern developed country. "Oh, no, you might have sex before you're married and then you'll be BANISHED TO HELL". what the fuck man.You'll be laughing the other side of your face come judgement day boy, when you're flung naked into the flaming pit, atop of the naked writhing bodies, wailing in torment, gosh darn you! Lets see you squat your way outta that one 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lithium Posted January 30, 2015 Author Share Posted January 30, 2015 I am so amazed that there actually still people like this in existence in a modern developed country. "Oh, no, you might have sex before you're married and then you'll be BANISHED TO HELL". what the fuck man.You'll be laughing the other side of your face come judgement day boy, when you're flung naked into the flaming pit, atop of the naked writhing bodies, wailing in torment, gosh darn you! Lets see you squat your way outta that one You'll be right there with me, at least I'll have company. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Len Cnut Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 (edited) Ooooooooooh no i won't, i whistled a hymn once! I read an Islamic description of hell when i was 8 years old, proper put the wind up me at the time, for about 5 seconds Edited January 30, 2015 by Len B'stard Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Sandman Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 I am so amazed that there actually still people like this in existence in a modern developed country. "Oh, no, you might have sex before you're married and then you'll be BANISHED TO HELL". what the fuck man.You'll be laughing the other side of your face come judgement day boy, when you're flung naked into the flaming pit, atop of the naked writhing bodies, wailing in torment, gosh darn you! Lets see you squat your way outta that one You'll be right there with me, at least I'll have company. Pretty sure that's just MYGNR now Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Len Cnut Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 (edited) I am so amazed that there actually still people like this in existence in a modern developed country. "Oh, no, you might have sex before you're married and then you'll be BANISHED TO HELL". what the fuck man.You'll be laughing the other side of your face come judgement day boy, when you're flung naked into the flaming pit, atop of the naked writhing bodies, wailing in torment, gosh darn you! Lets see you squat your way outta that one You'll be right there with me, at least I'll have company. Pretty sure that's just MYGNR now I imagine This I Love is probably the soundtrack to Hades 'and now i don't know whyyyyyyy, she wouldn't say gooodbyyyyeee'*shrieks and runs* Edited January 30, 2015 by Len B'stard Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lithium Posted January 30, 2015 Author Share Posted January 30, 2015 I don't think I've heard that song more than once. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Facekicker Posted January 31, 2015 Share Posted January 31, 2015 This may be a totally foreign concept to most people here, but I could do with venting anyway.My boyfriend and I are coming up against some negativity from people with regards to us moving in together. The majority of people have been supportive, but those who have said negative things have been really vocal about it. All because we're not married. His mum really isn't happy, and brought up things like the fact we broke up briefly 4 years ago we'd only been going out a few months and he at the time was moving home to Northern Ireland for the foreseeable future, so I don't even get how that's relevant. I had an older friend from church take me aside and basically say "as a church we don't agree with what you're doing, but we're here for you" which was a bit weird...and he met up with one of his good friends last night who basically said we're doing the wrong thing, and if we move in together we're going to eventually break up and both of us lose our relationships with God Is it inappropriate to start saying to these people that if they have nothing nice/supportive to say, then I'd just rather they not voice their opinion at all? Whatever your own views on the religious side of things you and your boyfriend obviously feel it is the right step to take.As for the others, whose views I personally consider stone age(not that it matters either way) A swift "Mind your own fucking business" would probably work wonders. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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