The whining thread

[soon]

Meat sweats.

Actually, is that something to whine about?  Its gross but it represents awesomeness in the area of gastro achievement, lol.

[Gibson87]

I swear to God, if I hear someone tell me that positive thinking will fix all my issues one more time...

[Len Cnut]

44 minutes ago, Gibson_Guy87 said:

I swear to God, if I hear someone tell me that positive thinking will fix all my issues one more time...

They're wrong.  In fact the mirror opposite is true.  Nihilism will solve your issues.  Cynicism and nihilism.  Positive thinking is just hypocrisy in action, it is a vagueness designed to keep outside of the moment when in reality life only exists in the moment.  Nihilism son, its all about nihilism.  Believe nothing.  I've never felt better since the day I truly understood that the human race are cunts and we're all gonna die.  The key to life is that there is no key so just take the piss out of everything and pretend you're God. 

Edited April 19, 2018 by Len Cnut

[SoulMonster]

1 hour ago, Gibson_Guy87 said:

I swear to God, if I hear someone tell me that positive thinking will fix all my issues one more time...

Positive thinking won't solve your issues, but at least we won't have to hear your whining. So go for it. 

[Gibson87]

5 minutes ago, SoulMonster said:

Positive thinking won't solve your issues, but at least we won't have to hear your whining. So go for it. 

Sorry for venting in a thread that exists for that very purpose 

Edited April 19, 2018 by Gibson_Guy87

[SoulMonster]

People with zero spatial awareness annoys me. 

[classicrawker]

IMO, but positive thinking is just a bandaid to cover the reason for the complaining instead of addressing the problem.......I see this everyday at work.....instead of positive thinking I believe you have to stop feeling sorry for yourself and try to fix the problem that you are complaining about.....but I do feel a little venting before hand to let off steam is healthy.....

[Gibson87]

1 hour ago, classicrawker said:

IMO, but positive thinking is just a bandaid to cover the reason for the complaining instead of addressing the problem.......I see this everyday at work.....instead of positive thinking I believe you have to stop feeling sorry for yourself and try to fix the problem that you are complaining about.....but I do feel a little venting before hand to let off steam is healthy.....

I vent first and then approach the problem. Venting gets all the irrational shit out of the way and allows you to think clearly. As for the positive thinking, my counselor told me it doesn't have much of an effect unless you truly believe it, otherwise you're just lying to yourself. I use a reframing technique. I basically acknowledge the problem and do what I can at the moment to fix it.

[john lennon]

Positive thinking is complete and utter bullshit. I'm the epitome of pessimism, and I'm alive and doing well. I mean, aside from that I'm broke. And that I have bills to pay. And that I get paid too little because I'm in a real shitty field. I mean, I like my job tho - as in I like my colleagues and I think my bosses are alright. 

Also I have to put down the cat I've had since I was 7 in a very short amount of time. That saddens me a lot. Thinking about tattooing his paw print on my ankle or something. Or maybe not, because it's trashy. Oh, and I'm terrified of needles. 

[Eric Cantona]

I fucking hate it when people take me seriously

Edited April 28, 2018 by AslatIE

[janrichmond]

1 hour ago, AslatIE said:

I fucking hate it when people take me seriously

OMG!!! who the fuck would take you seriously???

[Eric Cantona]

3 minutes ago, janrichmond said:

OMG!!! who the fuck would take you seriously???

I feel like we've talked about this before  

[janrichmond]

1 minute ago, AslatIE said:

I feel like we've talked about this before  

yeah we have but when things are quiet you have to recycle the old convos 

[john lennon]

Bf and I got into a fight for various reasons, and now I'm sad. We both have tomorrow off for some socialist holiday, so I thought we were gonna have a pleasant evening, but he's in the bedroom being angry (and possibly asleep) while I'm in the living room drinking beer and contemplating life altogether. Shit sucks, you know? 

[Gracii Guns]

A business contact asked me for a meeting. I let them pick a day and time to suit them. 

They didn’t show. No “sorry I’m running late message” or anything. 

I’m just glad that I didn’t hire a babysitter, because that would have been my money as well as my time wasted. 

Not going to meet with them again, if they ask. 

[Len Cnut]

19 minutes ago, Gracii Guns said:

A business contact asked me for a meeting. I let them pick a day and time to suit them. 

They didn’t show. No “sorry I’m running late message” or anything. 

I’m just glad that I didn’t hire a babysitter, because that would have been my money as well as my time wasted. 

Not going to meet with them again, if they ask. 

Did you not call em when you was there? 

[Gracii Guns]

9 minutes ago, Len Cnut said:

Did you not call em when you was there? 

No, didn’t think to. Didn’t have his number to hand either. I arrived 10 minutes early and waited for 15 minutes after our agreed time.

[soon]

When people are fucking up and you've looked at it every which way and you still don't see how you could help or intervene; is that self interest?

[Len Cnut]

On 02/05/2018 at 6:10 PM, soon said:

When people are fucking up and you've looked at it every which way and you still don't see how you could help or intervene; is that self interest?

Is it family?  Then depending on your feelings for em perhaps you should, i dunno, the questions too vague to give a proper answer, whoose the person, what does ‘fucked up’ mean exactly?

[soon]

1 hour ago, Len Cnut said:

Is it family?  Then depending on your feelings for em perhaps you should, i dunno, the questions too vague to give a proper answer, whoose the person, what does ‘fucked up’ mean exactly?

Chosen family.  I dont see em all that frequently but they are important in my world.  Their all very close with one another.  I think they are heading for estrangement, maybe for the rest of their lives even.  Well theres three people and I think at least 2 are heading towards never speaking again.  Its already very painful and only gonna get worse.

Basically from my perspective they kinda all left too many things unsaid and unaddressed.  And they seemed to enable each other in that.  But its always been confusing to observe so I dont really know. But me and others have been left so baffled by that trios ways.  In the regular course of relationships, shit would go down every now and then.   And, like the next day the trio would be confused if any of us brought any thing up.  As if nothing had happened at all.

Its got to a point where the damns burst and they are currently overwhelmed and having a lot of difficulty.  But they havent seen the big picture and I have serious doubt that they will.  I think they will just be confused and in conflict until that reality becomes untenable.

They are also well older then me.  They're good, well loved, successful and dignified people.  Imagine I turn up to 'save their relationships' like some punk.

I think a lot of others feel like they've either tried to work on this over the years with them.  Or others have had conflict surrounding the issue of sweeping things under the rug.  I feel like Im the last one who can speak to it.  I have no idea what I would say or do.  And what if I make it worse?  What if I end up the only one who gets estranged? But the clock is ticking. I know this all sounds overly dramatic, but I really think estrangement will break them.  Im a whole new kinda sad about this too.

[Len Cnut]

1 hour ago, soon said:

Chosen family.  I dont see em all that frequently but they are important in my world.  Their all very close with one another.  I think they are heading for estrangement, maybe for the rest of their lives even.  Well theres three people and I think at least 2 are heading towards never speaking again.  Its already very painful and only gonna get worse.

Basically from my perspective they kinda all left too many things unsaid and unaddressed.  And they seemed to enable each other in that.  But its always been confusing to observe so I dont really know. But me and others have been left so baffled by that trios ways.  In the regular course of relationships, shit would go down every now and then.   And, like the next day the trio would be confused if any of us brought any thing up.  As if nothing had happened at all.

Its got to a point where the damns burst and they are currently overwhelmed and having a lot of difficulty.  But they havent seen the big picture and I have serious doubt that they will.  I think they will just be confused and in conflict until that reality becomes untenable.

They are also well older then me.  They're good, well loved, successful and dignified people.  Imagine I turn up to 'save their relationships' like some punk.

I think a lot of others feel like they've either tried to work on this over the years with them.  Or others have had conflict surrounding the issue of sweeping things under the rug.  I feel like Im the last one who can speak to it.  I have no idea what I would say or do.  And what if I make it worse?  What if I end up the only one who gets estranged? But the clock is ticking. I know this all sounds overly dramatic, but I really think estrangement will break them.  Im a whole new kinda sad about this too.

As with stuff like that, you dont live in no ones skin and rather than be like, close and unhappy maybe the distance is good?  With distance yknow you can eventually come to a point where like...you reconcile yourself with some kind of middle ground...but being close when there’s issues doesnt always result in a resolution, it can just aggravate things, we’re headed to the same place eventually, just through different paths, i think in these kinds of situations its sometimes best left alone, thats my feeling anyway.

[soon]

12 minutes ago, Len Cnut said:

As with stuff like that, you dont live in no ones skin and rather than be like, close and unhappy maybe the distance is good?  With distance yknow you can eventually come to a point where like...you reconcile yourself with some kind of middle ground...but being close when there’s issues doesnt always result in a resolution, it can just aggravate things, we’re headed to the same place eventually, just through different paths, i think in these kinds of situations its sometimes best left alone, thats my feeling anyway.

Thanks for asking and thanks for your input.  I can see how its likely best left alone too, but "best" is a misleading term here.  They are eachothers worlds and would be utterly alone in life.  And then if there were a path towards reconciliation I imagine it would involve having a look at their patterns and realizing 'Oh these issues are actually impacting all my relationships. This is why my daughter doesnt really involve me in my grandchild's life.  This is why my career peaked lower then I expected. This is why I never wrote that novel.' Again these are capable people, just with this one, shared, fatal flaw.  And top to bottom it just breaks my heart if this all comes to be. They will be alone when they need each other most.  

And the thought of never sharing a meal with them again is kicking my ass.

 

 

[Len Cnut]

26 minutes ago, soon said:

Thanks for asking and thanks for your input.  I can see how its likely best left alone too, but "best" is a misleading term here.  They are eachothers worlds and would be utterly alone in life.  And then if there were a path towards reconciliation I imagine it would involve having a look at their patterns and realizing 'Oh these issues are actually impacting all my relationships. This is why my daughter doesnt really involve me in my grandchild's life.  This is why my career peaked lower then I expected. This is why I never wrote that novel.' Again these are capable people, just with this one, shared, fatal flaw.  And top to bottom it just breaks my heart if this all comes to be. They will be alone when they need each other most.  

And the thought of never sharing a meal with them again is kicking my ass.

 

 

I mean best in a resigned kinda sense, like whatcha gonna do?

[soon]

10 minutes ago, Len Cnut said:

I mean best in a resigned kinda sense, like whatcha gonna do?

No, I hear ya. It just sucks. 

As i read back my response to you I kinda realize that everything I list would actually be a good thing in the long term.  Im worried they don't get to that point, though.  And I hate to imagine the painful realizations. They gave me a home when I didnt have one.  Hate to see that 'home' broken.

[Len Cnut]

14 minutes ago, soon said:

No, I hear ya. It just sucks. 

As i read back my response to you I kinda realize that everything I list would actually be a good thing in the long term.  Im worried they don't get to that point, though.  And I hate to imagine the painful realizations. They gave me a home when I didnt have one.  Hate to see that 'home' broken.

You'd be surpised too man, life is long, things come back around, with a whimper if not always a bang.  To be honest I'm in a similar place with certain members of my family but like...the way i look at it is if shit can't get be right between us being who we are maybe it will later in life when we grow as people, or maybe never.  It is what is, y'know.  I suppose the take home for someone like yourself where like, its kicking your arse that you might not get an old time sit down with them again is, these little things goin' on in our lives, perhaps they're more precious than we give em credit for.  On a long enough time scale every relationship functions within certain limits and they ain't guaranteed limits, we die or we get old or we drift apart or we change as people and don't get along anymore, none of it is guaranteed and none of it is like...your due, y'know, its all just luck.