The love/sex/relationship thread

[PappyTron]

7 minutes ago, Dazey said:

Nah, he's a slum lord.

Ah, an estate agent!

[alfierose]

2 hours ago, Dazey said:

To be honest I've not noticed any major difference as far as expenses go. The pissing and shitting takes some getting used to however. She'll accept me one day though.

It's the teenage years that will do you in. Start saving. Trust me!

[Dazey]

34 minutes ago, alfierose said:

It's the teenage years that will do you in. Start saving. Trust me!

Oh I've no doubt. I'm busy saving for a mortgage right now. 

[Len Cnut]

12 hours ago, PappyTron said:

Ah, an estate agent!

Good Afternoon, Hoogenstraten Estates, how may i help you?

[ZoSoRose]

Just found out my ex gf is getting married! That's a weird fucking feeling lol

[rubbermade_baby]

Gracii it's hard at first but it gets easier, believe me... Well, for a while, then the pre- teen years start and it's back to square one with not knowing what the hell you're doing. I'm sure the teenage years are worse (we hit those next year.) Younger children aren't too expensive to raise but the older they get the more your bank balance will feel it. It's so worth it though ... I have *lots* of small humans, there's so much love and fun in this house and I'm content in the knowledge we will be minted when they all leave home 

[DR DOOM]

1 hour ago, rubbermade_baby said:

Gracii it's hard at first but it gets easier, believe me... Well, for a while, then the pre- teen years start and it's back to square one with not knowing what the hell you're doing. I'm sure the teenage years are worse (we hit those next year.) Younger children aren't too expensive to raise but the older they get the more your bank balance will feel it. It's so worth it though ... I have *lots* of small humans, there's so much love and fun in this house and I'm content in the knowledge we will be minted when they all leave home 

Not entirely off topic here but I do have to point out it's RubberMAID (a brand of condom) as in, a rubber maid (that takes care of the mess).

Sorry/you're welcome 

 

[Lio]

On 5-5-2016 at 7:53 PM, Gracii Guns said:

and if I told my clients that I'll be unavailable for a year, they will find someone else and won't bother returning.

I stayed home a year for the baby, but I did work. I can do all my work from home though. I don't know if you have to visit clients often or anything. I was able to work and take care of the baby. (The house was a mess though, can't have everything.)

[Len Cnut]

6 hours ago, ZoSoRose said:

Just found out my ex gf is getting married! That's a weird fucking feeling lol

Especially when you've had to climb a drainpipe and see the incident play out through a set of binoculars

[ZoSoRose]

3 hours ago, Len B'stard said:

Especially when you've had to climb a drainpipe and see the incident play out through a set of binoculars

Lol which is why I had to post it

[Gracii Guns]

5 hours ago, Lio said:

I stayed home a year for the baby, but I did work. I can do all my work from home though. I don't know if you have to visit clients often or anything. I was able to work and take care of the baby. (The house was a mess though, can't have everything.)

Thanks Lio, that sounds very encouraging. I am at home for most of the time. Our house is always a mess anyway, so no change there. 

How long did you take off between the birth and returning to work? 

[Apollo]

My wife and I decided to raise our children ourselves. Sacrificing money for the good of the kids. 

Think about how much time children spend at daycare. 40-50 hours a week. That's 2000-2400 hours a year. 

No amount of money is worth your kids spending 45 hours a week with a stranger raising them instead of the parents. 

Obviously single parents don't always have the stay at home option. 

To each their own. But I would never trade time with my children away so I could make more money.

nobody has ever been on their death bed  and said "man, I wish I would have spent more time at work instead of all those quality moments with my children."

For me, kids are worth way more than money. People have different priorities and that's cool. To each their own. I'm just saying for me PERSONALLY.....we chose to make less money so our kids would always have a parent at home. 

Edited May 12, 2016 by Apollo

[ZoSoRose]

I cant wait to have kids, I want to start my own factory and need cheap labor

[SoulMonster]

On 12.5.2016 at 6:58 AM, ZoSoRose said:

Just found out my ex gf is getting married! That's a weird fucking feeling lol

Some days back I foujd out my ex gf is dead. That's a fucking weird feeling, too.

[SoulMonster]

21 hours ago, Apollo said:

No amount of money is worth your kids spending 45 hours a week with a stranger raising them instead of the parents.

A stranger? With 45 hours spend in the kindergarten and about 65 hours spent asleep, that only leaves 58 hours with its real parents. Those "strangers" in the kindergarten is about as well known to the kids as the parents! They might be strangers to you (well, not if you do your work) but they are almost primary caretakers for the kids AND they are actually educated for the job of raising kids AND the kids get to do all kinds of fun things and socialize with other kids.

But don't get me wrong, I have a lot of respect for parents who decide to be home with their kids, I think that is a great option, too, at least for many kids, and I am sure it was great for your and your kifd. But kindergarten can be fantastic.

[ZoSoRose]

1 hour ago, SoulMonster said:

Some days back I foujd out my ex gf is dead. That's a fucking weird feeling, too.

Holy fuck, sorry man

[SoulMonster]

13 minutes ago, Len B'stard said:

You know what he means though, it'd just be that much extra hours than his folks and also, for all intents and purposes teachers are strangers, you dont KNOW teachers in the proper sense, they just see you a certain amount of hours a day in their professional capacity, you gotta admire a man that wants to put the hours in and spend his time with his little ankle-biters, he aint talking about keeping em from an education hes talking like creches and all that.

..which is why I said I have a lot of respect for people who stay home with their kids.

[Apollo]

2 hours ago, SoulMonster said:

A stranger? With 45 hours spend in the kindergarten and about 65 hours spent asleep, that only leaves 58 hours with its real parents. Those "strangers" in the kindergarten is about as well known to the kids as the parents! They might be strangers to you (well, not if you do your work) but they are almost primary caretakers for the kids AND they are actually educated for the job of raising kids AND the kids get to do all kinds of fun things and socialize with other kids.

But don't get me wrong, I have a lot of respect for parents who decide to be home with their kids, I think that is a great option, too, at least for many kids, and I am sure it was great for your and your kifd. But kindergarten can be fantastic.

I actually was talking about daycare. Which is a lot different than public school. 

Rather than paying a stranger to watch our kids for 45 hours a week, we choose to spend our time with them. 

No amount of money is worth being away from your children for that much time. Work will always be there when the kids get older. 

Thats just how I feel. Other parents might feel differently. The value of money, a big house, nice cars, etc is very important to some. I personally wouldn't trade the time I get with my kids for millions of dollars. 

[Apollo]

2 hours ago, SoulMonster said:

Some days back I foujd out my ex gf is dead. That's a fucking weird feeling, too.

Ya it's a weird feeling when people close to us or our own age die. 

 

[SoulMonster]

31 minutes ago, Apollo said:

I actually was talking about daycare. Which is a lot different than public school. 

Rather than paying a stranger to watch our kids for 45 hours a week, we choose to spend our time with them. 

No amount of money is worth being away from your children for that much time. Work will always be there when the kids get older. 

Thats just how I feel. Other parents might feel differently. The value of money, a big house, nice cars, etc is very important to some. I personally wouldn't trade the time I get with my kids for millions of dollars. 

Oh, I appreciate your thoughts on this and respect you prioritizing your kids. Maybe kindergarten is a bit different in Norway than in USA? I wouldn't be surprised. The way it is with us, the kids belong to a small group with the same kids and the same "teachers". Everybody is educated and every kindergarden is certified and controlled. The stability of grown-ups and kids is a must. It becoomes similar to an extended family. Every kindergarden has an annual plan, parents are brought in to sit on "committees" to have their say on the educational program. Each morning and afternoon parents talk to the employees how the day has been. Proper food is served and prepared. We talk to the kindergarden on regular meetings where any problems are discussed. Every kindergarden has their own profile. Our kindergarden is pretty large so they have divided it into various groups with various themes. My oldest girl is in an outdoors group. This week they spent three days in the forests, playing in the woods, learning about the life there, climbing and playing, and cooking food over open fires. My youngest had a visit to a gallery today where they learnt about painting. They also frequently take trips to museums, down to the beach, to schools (to prepare the oldest for that), and recently my oldest's group took the train to visit an old friend who moved some time ago. Friendships are formed, the kids learn to socialise, the employees are educated in raising kids, it is a stimulating environment that for most parts is great. But again, not saying having your kids at home isn't great, too. I wasn't taking a dig, just defending kindergarden, at least how they are here   And it is almost free - that socialism for you!

[SoulMonster]

34 minutes ago, Apollo said:

Ya it's a weird feeling when people close to us or our own age die.

I had barely talked to her the last 20 years, so it wasn't really a lot of sorrow. More a bit stunned that this could happen to someone who used to be close to me, that is as old to me, that has small kids, too. You immediately think about if you had stayed with her and it was you in that situation, left with small kids without a mother. And you feel so sorry for that husband and those kids. And you start taking better care of yourself and hug your own kids a bit more. And then, yes, it adds to the emotional pile that will sooner or later cause a little breakdown where I get it all out before I soldier on.

[Apollo]

That's how preschool and kindergarten is here too. My kids just aren't old enough to do that here yet. Tho yours sounds a little bit nicer than in the States. 

A lot of "school" here is more of a big cattle roundup. Too many kids in each class, undertrained teachers, parents just itching to sue or be outaged at anything. For every fantastic caring teacher there are three who are just collecting a paycheck. 

*****

Don't worry too much about your ex. If you would have stayed together she no doubt would have died of boredom a decade ago after years of being educated and lecture in every conversation the two of you had. 

Too soon?

[Len Cnut]

How come my jibe about his dead ex bird got deleted?  Bloody discrimination, thats what that is, i shall write to my MP!

[Apollo]

3 hours ago, Len B'stard said:

How come my jibe about his dead ex bird got deleted?  Bloody discrimination, thats what that is, i shall write to my MP!

The mods know my comment is actually true! And you are a black, so there is that. 

[Lio]

On 12-5-2016 at 5:18 PM, Gracii Guns said:

Thanks Lio, that sounds very encouraging. I am at home for most of the time. Our house is always a mess anyway, so no change there. 

How long did you take off between the birth and returning to work? 

I think I took like almost two months off completely, and then started taking assignments occasionally, and building it up like that, seeing what I could do.