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Comedy Central Roast of Axl Rose


Locke

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"On our panel of roasters here tonight we have several former Guns N' Roses members. We have Robin Finck, who's also played with Nine Inch Nails. He's got a TV in his closet and dresses like he's got a dead hooker in there as well. We have former drummer Steven Adler, who looks about as coordinated as the North Korean Special Olympics ballet squad, if they all had a concussion. We've also got Matt Sorum, who has gone on to take the rock world by Von Storm since his abrupt departure from the band. Matt, what's going on? Aren't you supposed to be rock and roll? You look like an estrogen tanker crashed into the set of Glee. We have former guitarist Izzy Stradlin, who...I don't know, I've really never heard of this guy before. He wrote all the songs, apparently. And finally, we've got keyboard player Dizzy Reed, who's still performing with GnR today. Axl hired Dizzy after finding him sleeping in a studio, and that's pretty much what he's continued to do for the last twenty years."

Edited by Flayer
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"On our panel of roasters here tonight we have several former Guns N' Roses members. We have Robin Finck, who's also played with Nine Inch Nails. He's got a TV in his closet and dresses like he's got a dead hooker in there as well. We have former drummer Steven Adler, who looks about as coordinated as the North Korean Special Olympics ballet squad, if they all had a concussion. We've also got Matt Sorum, who has gone on to take the rock world by Von Storm since his abrupt departure from the band. Matt, what's going on? Aren't you supposed to be rock and roll? You look like an estrogen tanker crashed into the set of Glee. We have former guitarist Izzy Stradlin, who...I don't know, I've really never heard of this guy before. He wrote all the songs, apparently. And finally, we've got keyboard player Dizzy Reed, who's still performing with GnR today. Axl hired Dizzy after finding him sleeping in a studio, and that's pretty much what he's continued to do for the last twenty years."

HA! No heckler's revenge Flayer,that made me smile!

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  • 1 year later...

Axl has never been one to take criticism very well. How do you think he would react to an Axl Rose Roast? Do you think he's mellowed down to the point of laughing it off or would he go apeshit? Plus, who could roast Axl?

Edited by Cosmonaut
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I think of all things Axl struggles with, it's criticism that tops everything, whether it's constructive or out of spite, any. Look at the line of staff who have questioned his vision, personality and behaviour. There's literally a Roll of Honour who've of people been subject to the wrath of a criticised Axl. It's the nature of an artist. The ego is unquestionable.

It's the reason for stipulation in interviews, photography. He is not open to the idea of criticism. And who honestly likes criticism? If you were able to, wouldn't you create a world for yourself which is void of the nasty opinions of reality?

Participation in a roast, whilst Axl is weirdly open to self-criticism e.g. 'King Dick', 'I sucked on TWAT' is more impossible than what others view to be a distant possibility, like a new record or reunion.

Edited by NGOG
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He'd be a great person to roast though! All the stuff about delays, late starts, lack of productivity, bandmembers coming and going, freaks in the band, problems with the press, problems with fans. This would be fucking hilarious! :lol:

Maybe someone should start a "The Roast Of Axl Rose" thread. We'll specify the other guests and we can take turns roasting Axl, the guests and other forum members. -_-

Best idea ever?

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If there was a stipulation whereby Axl had a round, red 'Fire' button which triggered a trap door dropping the critic into the hairy ass of Rikishi; then yes an open roast would become possible.

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Guest bellastar2355

He'd be a great person to roast though! All the stuff about delays, late starts, lack of productivity, bandmembers coming and going, freaks in the band, problems with the press, problems with fans. This would be fucking hilarious! :lol:

Maybe someone should start a "The Roast Of Axl Rose" thread. We'll specify the other guests and we can take turns roasting Axl, the guests and other forum members. -_-

Best idea ever?

I think it's a good idea, problem is people will just be hurling insults. It's about humor

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The cameras roll and Seth McFarlane opens the roast with a cautious line about Beta...

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Edited by NGOG
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He would not be able to handle it lol...

It'd be fun to watch Anthony Jeselnik tear into him though

YES!! It's time to wrap up your baby and throw it in a river... The Axl Roast.

My Uncle John runs a camp for children about to get molested... It's a hard job... but he loves it.

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I've never got this concept of roasts. Saw the Charlie Sheen one and although and a good PR move for him I don't get why people do it.

Hypothetically If Axl was to take part two things would be guarenteed.

1. Axl launching himself into the crowd after seeing someone sporting a slash tshirt.

2. Axl storms off stage never to be seen in public again

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I think he'd be open to it, it's just obviously all comparison to old guns/nuGnR would be forbidden - and would make him look like an idiot. I could imagine one of the panelists saying something like "It's like Axl's gone from hanging out with The Stones, where each member is famous and popular to hanging around with Nickelback, they're alot younger and no one cares about them"

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I've never got this concept of roasts. Saw the Charlie Sheen one and although and a good PR move for him I don't get why people do it.

Hypothetically If Axl was to take part two things would be guarenteed.

1. Axl launching himself into the crowd after seeing someone sporting a slash tshirt.

2. Axl storms off stage never to be seen in public again

The point of a roast is to lovingly insult the guest of honor.

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I think he'd be open to it, it's just obviously all comparison to old guns/nuGnR would be forbidden - and would make him look like an idiot. I could imagine one of the panelists saying something like "It's like Axl's gone from hanging out with The Stones, where each member is famous and popular to hanging around with Nickelback, they're alot younger and no one cares about them"

They're not a lot younger... Only DJ.

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