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I Want This to Be My Next Car


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Buying a used convertible on the internet...

 

Speedometer doesn't work.

Playing with the glove compartment yesterday stopped the rev counter from working/so hopefully it's just a loose plug.

This car took its roof down just once for me, but the other 25 attempts, no luck.

It's probably going to pool with antifreeze if I use the heater, and flood the back.

There's smoke coming from the exhaust.

The tyres and brakes I just want to change, they're corroded, worn... want new tyres and brakes.

I haven't got a spare wheel.

The driver window doesn't work at all.

The rear near side lamp needs a new bulb.

- and probably a bunch of other stuff.

 

I still haven't found the fuse box...


Still it could be worse.

Edited by Snake-Pit
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My last car was also a girly little 2-door (sorry Snakes), but it could turn on a dime and I could park it anywhere, and it cost me about $30 to fill :lol: The dash lights didn't work and the headlights only kind of worked, and it topped out at 100k/h, overall it was a real piece of shit. But now I have a truck I fuckin' love... and some god damned cunt fucking keyed the door :anger:

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I have a big little car.

It's parked next to a 5 door Nissan Micra (T Reg from the late 1990s) and a 2007 Toyota Yaris.

There's a newer 2004 Nissan Micra parked across it and it's still a little bigger than that.

It's about the same size as a 5 door Ford Focus of the same age (2001); but then it is a VW Golf and, these Golfs are bigger than VW Polos, so it's actually holding it's own... These Golfs are little cars, but they're big little cars.

But that said, my car is a little car with a thirsty 2.0 petrol engine.

 

 

£675 to get it road worthy again.

Edited by Snake-Pit
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2 hours ago, Snake-Pit said:

I have a big little car.

It's parked next to a 5 door Nissan Micra (T Reg from the late 1990s) and a 2007 Toyota Yaris.

There's a newer 2004 Nissan Micra parked across it and it's still a little bigger than that.

 

listing the cars around you does not change the fact your car is the car version of a micropenis.

Could it be smaller? (TWSS).

Where are you driving to? 1905? where tall people were 5'5'?

how about you stop posting, and get a real car, that isn't entirely embarrassing?

I'm just kidding, of course, it's a nice car, and i hope you enjoy it.

Lots of love, Jackie Moon xoxo

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31 minutes ago, Len B'stard said:

Trans-Atlantic criticisms of a car:

6) no evacuation seat

 

Is an evacuation seat;

a) an "eject" option, which we all understand

OR!

b) a bedpan scenario where the driver could shit him/her self.

Because if they're challenging point A, i can support that. Who doesn't want to fly out of the car, ALA will smith Independence Day?

but point B, it's hard to get behind that. so to speak.

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I am rethinking my post.

 

There is obviously no excuse to shit oneself behind the wheel....

 

but, who here has not peed into a bottle, or bottles, more specifically, in a car setting? I mean, its obviously not ideal. but telll "its not ideal" to a crisis scenario. FUCK YOUR IDEALS. PERSON! I GOTTA PISS!

 

We've all been there. Having a plan B is not a bad idea. Maybe some sort of funnel / tube scenario. could be the next big thing.

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I bought this

Nextbase Car 7 - 7" Portable In-Car DVD Player

Nextbase Car 7 - 7" Portable In-Car DVD Player for £65.00

I've already fitted it to my car, behind the driver seat to the head rest.

ATM I currently have a copy of

220px-Illusioniivideocover.jpg

in the car DVD player.

and...

I was the bastard who bought the last 5 of

Gibson Les Paul Gold Top Guitar Air Freshener - Classic Mint - HB44

Les Paul air freshener

, now thanks to me, this item is no longer available on Amazon.

I have 1 in my car and 4 back ups I put aside...

My car now smells all minty/mentholated.

Looks cool though.

There were other Les Paul air fresheners from this company, but none looked as cool as this one.

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

Sourced @ https://www.check-mot.service.gov.uk/

Vehicle make: VOLKSWAGEN
 Vehicle model: GOLF
 Date first used: 1 November 2001
 Fuel type: Petrol
 Colour: Beige
 
MOT history of this vehicle

Test date: 5 March 2016
 Test Result: Fail
 Odometer reading: 142,571 miles
 MOT test number: 3168 6404 0130

Reason(s) for failure:

offside front Windscreen wiper does not clear the windscreen effectively (8.2.2)

offside Registration plate lamp not working (1.1.C.1d)

nearside Rear position lamp(s) not working (1.1.A.3b)

 Advisory notice item(s):

offside front window not working

front brake disc worn, pitted or scored, but not seriously weakened (3.5.1i)

rear brake disc worn, pitted or scored, but not seriously weakened (3.5.1i)

offside rear Tyre worn close to the legal limit 195/50/15 (4.1.E.1)

nearside rear Tyre worn close to the legal limit bald on edge (4.1.E.1)

Test date: 24 April 2015
 Expiry date: 23 April 2016
 Test Result: Pass
Odometer reading: 138,618 miles
 MOT test number: 2884 7471 5174

 Advisory notice item(s):

Nearside Rear Tyre worn close to the legal limit (4.1.E.1)

engine managment light on

advise tracking

rear brakes corroded

 Test date: 24 April 2015
 Test Result: Fail
 Odometer reading: 138,618 miles.
 MOT test number: 6077 7471 5152

Reason(s) for failure:

Offside Registration plate lamp not working (1.1.C.1d)

Nearside Rear Brake hose bulging under pressure (3.6.B.3)

Offside Rear Brake hose bulging under pressure (3.6.B.3)

Offside Front Brake hose bulging under pressure (3.6.B.3)

Nearside Rear Tyre tread depth below requirements of 1.6mm (4.1.E.1)

Nearside Front Tyre has ply or cords exposed (4.1.D.1b)

Nearside Rear Shock absorber has a serious fluid leak (2.7.3)

Offside Rear Rear wheel bearing has excessive play (2.6.2)

Advisory notice item(s):

Offside Front Tyre worn close to the legal limit (4.1.E.1)

engine managment light on

advise tracking

Nail in nearside rear tyre

rear brakes corroded

 Test date: 22 May 2014
 Expiry date: 5 June 2015
 Test Result: Pass
 Odometer reading: 133,999 miles
 MOT test number: 1989 8254 4167

Advisory notice item(s):

Nearside Front Tyre worn close to the legal limit (4.1.E.1)

engine misfire

spark plug leads arcing out

engine managment light on

exhaust baffles loose

advise tracking check

Nail in nearside rear tyre

nearsdie rear brake disc corroded

 Test date: 16 May 2013
 Expiry date: 5 June 2014
 Test Result: Pass
 Odometer reading: 129,459 miles
MOT test number: 5999 0633 3184

Test date: 31 May 2012
 Expiry date: 5 June 2013
 Test Result: Pass
Odometer reading: 124,035 miles
MOT test number: 2387 2285 2179

Test date: 31 May 2012
 Test Result: Fail
Odometer reading: 124,035 miles
 MOT test number: 8180 9205 2168

 Reason(s) for failure:

Nearside Headlamp aim too low (1.8)

Nearside Rear wheel bearing has excessive play (2.6.2)

Offside Rear wheel bearing has excessive play (2.6.2)

Nearside Front Tyre has a cut in excess of the requirements deep enough to reach the ply or cords (4.1.D.1a)

Test date: 6 June 2011
 Expiry date: 5 June 2012
 Test Result: Pass
 Odometer reading: 118,438 miles
 MOT test number: 3896 1705 1138

Advisory notice item(s):

Nearside Rear Brake pipe slightly corroded (3.6.B.2c)

Centre Exhaust has a minor leak of exhaust gases (7.1.2)

Test date: 6 June 2011
 Test Result: Fail
 Odometer reading: 118,438 miles
 MOT test number: 4154 2755 1189

Reason(s) for failure:

Offside Rear position lamp(s) not working (1.1.A.3b)

Nearside Windscreen wiper blade insecure (8.2.2)

Offside Windscreen wiper blade insecure (8.2.2)

Offside Rear Brake pipe excessively corroded (3.6.B.2c)

Advisory notice item(s):

Nearside Rear Brake pipe slightly corroded (3.6.B.2c)

Centre Exhaust has a minor leak of exhaust gases (7.1.2)

Test date: 6 May 2010
 Expiry date: 13 May 2011
 Test Result: Pass
 Odometer reading: 107,695 miles
 MOT test number: 2548 2682 0126

Advisory notice item(s):

Offside Front Tyre worn close to the legal limit (4.1.E.1)

exhaust blowing

brake pipes rusty

 Test date: 6 May 2010
 Test Result: Fail
 Odometer reading: 107,691 miles
 MOT test number: 2521 2682 0125

Reason(s) for failure:

Nearside Front Tyre tread depth below requirements of 1.6mm (4.1.E.1)

Nearside Registration plate lamp not working (1.1.C.1d)

Nearside Rear Tyre has a lump, caused by separation or partial failure of its structure (4.1.D.1b)

Offside Rear Tyre has a lump, caused by separation or partial failure of its structure (4.1.D.1b)

Nearside Front Brake hose bulging under pressure (3.6.B.3)

Advisory notice item(s):

Offside Front Tyre worn close to the legal limit (4.1.E.1)

exhaust blowing

brake pipes rusty

Test date: 12 May 2009
 Expiry date: 13 May 2010
 Test Result: Pass
 Odometer reading: 94,538 miles
 MOT test number: 6427 3293 9120

Advisory notice item(s):

Rear wheel bearing has slight play (2.6.2)

Front Macpherson strut has slight movement at the upper attachment (2.5.A.1c)

 Test date: 14 May 2008
 Test Result: Fail
 Odometer reading: 80,362 miles
 MOT test number: 7849 5523 8166

Reason(s) for failure:

Rear Brake pad(s) less than 1.5 mm thick (3.5.1g)

Rear wheel bearing has excessive play (2.6.2)

Test date: 14 May 2008
 Expiry date: 13 May 2009
 Test Result: Pass
 Odometer reading: 80,362 miles
 MOT test number: 4719 4573 8174

 Test date: 14 May 2007
 Expiry date: 13 May 2008
 Test Result: Pass
 Odometer reading: 67,218 miles
 MOT test number: 6710 0483 7181
 
Test date: 18 October 2006
 Expiry date: 17 October 2007
 Test Result: Pass
 Odometer reading: 59,902 miles
 MOT test number: 2801 7179 6232
 
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The freaking garage hasn't even phoned me yet and they've tested it already, damn, they were fast, they said they'd do it on Saturday, and, looks like they did, would have been nice if they'd have told me... Now I know what I'm up against MOTwise, just waiting for that call..

I bought this car February 16th 2016, so, anything before 2016, not my problem...
However, I always knew this car was going to fail it's MOT (and that is my problem) but it's why it's in there getting serviced and MOT'd - Went in first thing Saturday morning.

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2 hours ago, DieselDaisy said:

It seems like you have more trouble than its worth.

 

 

It could have been worse.

 

My car's in better shape than this  2005 Hyundai I wanted for £500 and this 2002 VW Golf Cabriolet 2.0 I checked (same car as mine but 1 year newer with less miles) going for £1, 995.

I paid £970 for my car.

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  • 1 month later...
On 10/16/2015 at 5:05 AM, Snake-Pit said:

Gold-plated-car.jpg

 

... gold plated Ferrari...

 

I ran into this on my way home tonight.

027.JPG

As soon as I saw the car, I knew what one it was... I even knew what the number plate/license plate was going to say before I saw the number plate/license plate.

 

025.JPG

026.JPG

Edited by Snake-Pit
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  • 3 months later...
On 2/24/2016 at 0:44 AM, Jackie Moon said:

I am rethinking my post.

 

There is obviously no excuse to shit oneself behind the wheel....

 

but, who here has not peed into a bottle, or bottles, more specifically, in a car setting? I mean, its obviously not ideal. but telll "its not ideal" to a crisis scenario. FUCK YOUR IDEALS. PERSON! I GOTTA PISS!

 

We've all been there. Having a plan B is not a bad idea. Maybe some sort of funnel / tube scenario. could be the next big thing.

On long journeys I've been known to piss into a bottle. Best bottles are Sunny Delight and Oasis as the rim is most accommodating. Do not make the mistake of using a banana Friji bottle as there is nothing on earth that smells as bad as piss and banana milkshake.

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29 minutes ago, Gracii Guns said:

Hey-oh! Hubby and I are looking at passing our driving tests and getting a second hand car with low running costs. We know absolutely nothing about cars. Anyone got any advice? 

Don't buy one where the previous owner has tippexed "Ouch" underneath a massive fucking dent. I did and the exhaust, and a good chunk of the bottom of the car literally fell off on a dual carrageway about 3 weeks later.

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