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The Religion/Spirituality Thread


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46 minutes ago, Oldest Goat said:

Jesus is going to burn the fuck out of you, bitch.

Jesus ain't burning anyone. He got Satan to do that shit. Jesus likes to make it seem like he is the good guy, but he has basically out-sourced the messy parts of the job to Satan so he can keep on good terms with us. I know this tactic from negotiations, always include an outside consultant who can be the bad guy and press on the contentious issues. Leaves you to have a harmonious relationship with the other party afterwards.

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8 minutes ago, SoulMonster said:

What's the mark of Satan? Not 666 because I read some time ago that was a misunderstanding.

I dunno what the fuck it actually is, its meant to be in some kind of fuckin' foreign...old...language of the day, looks like a bunch of squiggley shit to me.  I got it confirmed off a satanic fucker mate of mine (a metaller basically whoose into Crowley and all the usual shit metallers are into) and, for as much as he knows, its the correct thing but fuck knows.  It kinda looks like an X with two S's.  Or two S's with an X on the end, im not sure which way up it goes now, it was a long time ago and it was done on a whim to annoy someone :lol: 

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8 minutes ago, SoulMonster said:

Regardless, how edgy.

It was just a wind up to be honest :lol:  The story begins, as do most of the stupid tales of my life, with me being pissed.  I'm with a God botherey friend right and we're talking and the subject gets onto religion and I bring this thing up, this idea that Christians believe you cannot enter the kingdom of heaven if you have the mark of Satan.  She confirmed this.  I was only asking because it was just some shit I'd heard so, y'know, knowing my fuckin' cultured-ness I might've got it off a fuckin' Hammer Horror film or something.  Anyway, she confirmed it was true and I was like really, you REALLY believe that, honestly, for real-for real?  Anyway she did and I was like OK well if I got that I'm going to hell right?  So there's a tattoo parlour down the road and I go right I'm going to get one done and he starts proper tripping out, it was hilairious, you kinda had to be there.  Anyway, its a dinky little thing, not like its some massive eyesore.  Anyway, it served its purpose, seemed like a good idea at the time and I'll go to great lengths to get someones tits depending on my mood :lol:

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4 minutes ago, Iron MikeyJ said:

Some theories say it's actually 616. But the point is moot, it doesnt matter "what" the number actually is. It's the intent behind it. 

Exactly. And the intent was probably to impress a chick to get to fuck her.

And by chick I mean young swan.

And fucking outside of marriage is a sin.

So I guess Len will burn? Am I right, Mikey?

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8 minutes ago, SoulMonster said:

Exactly. And the intent was probably to impress a chick to get to fuck her.

And by chick I mean young swan.

And fucking outside of marriage is a sin.

So I guess Len will burn? Am I right, Mikey?

I'd've had a better chance of fucking the queen than her, proper little miss chastity knickers, she was.

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2 minutes ago, Len Cnut said:

I'd've had a better chance of fucking the queen than her, proper little miss chastity knickers, she was.

Got to admire her for making you, and probably lots of other infatuated boys, defile your body in at least two different ways.

Edited by SoulMonster
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8 minutes ago, SoulMonster said:

Got to admire her for making you, and probably lots of other infatuated boys, defile their bodies in at least two different ways.

She was proper tripping though man, thats why it was so funny, the tattoo artist nearly told us to fuck off at one point :lol:

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10 minutes ago, SoulMonster said:

Exactly. And the intent was probably to impress a chick to get to fuck her.

And by chick I mean young swan.

And fucking outside of marriage is a sin.

So I guess Len will burn? Am I right, Mikey?

Not if he repents, and asks for mercy. There is time still for all of you.

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1 minute ago, Iron MikeyJ said:

No.

That's just cruel.

What do you think about my theory that Jesus and Satan have a "good cop/bad cop" understanding just to make Jesus appear unblemished and "good" and "great". Obviously they are in league and have just agreed upon how to divide the labor between themselves. Isn't even Satan Jesus' brother or something?

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To be quite honest @Len Cnut, that story she told you was a little misguided imo. While I also wouldn't encourage anyone to get any sort of satanic tattoos, I wouldn't condemn anyone to hell for having them either. Why? As I said earlier, there is time to repent as long as you are still alive. Even if it doesnt happen until your death bed. I wouldn't recommend waiting that long, but some people just seem to "have to." 

Do I think God might have some choice words for you in regards to such a tattoo? Yes. But if you repent and are genuine, he very well might show you mercy. Besides it is not "our" (humanity's) place to condemn ANYONE to hell. That is NOT for us to decide. We can say "that's a sin" and discourage the sin. But we should NOT say "if you do THAT you will go to hell." That is not our place.

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