Without getting in too many personal details about my life, this is the best that I can explain it.
Up until a few years ago, if something didn’t go my way in say, a relationship, for example, I was the first to blame God. Obviously, I’m ashamed of that in more recent years, but I went through a long stretch of having lost my faith at best, or being a heretic at worst.
So, I met my ex, and her faith was and is the most important thing in her life - so, I started going to church again (first times in a non Catholic Church), and I felt that it was something that I could relate to more than Catholicism.
Anyway, fast forward, a year and a half later, she and I break up (and I had planned on proposing to her), but in the past, where I would have blamed God, I just said “alright, Lord, I don’t get this. I don’t understand this, but I’m not losing my faith again.”
For a month or two, I was clearly out of sorts, coping with the break up, and the mental and emotional fallout that goes with something like that, and after a few months of just feeling miserable, and feeling that things were heading in a negative direction all around for me, I prayed the hardest that I’ve ever prayed in my entire life.
I basically said, “Lord, clearly I have no idea what I’m doing with my life. I can’t do this on my own, so I need to you steer me to your will, and to guide the way, because clearly, I’m lost.” I said the sinners’ prayer, and got back to a new church (that was one of the best decisions that I’ve ever made), and committed to joining a Bible study / life group. It was a more contemporary church with a congregation that was more in my demographic (college, post grad, etc) and I learned a lot, and made some great friends there that I miss dearly.)
But between reaffirming my faith and felon God to steer me to where he meant for me to be, things turned around for me drastically. I had some personal revelations that I won’t share here prophesied over me, and within months, I landed my new job in a new state, and two weeks later I met the woman that I plan on marrying.
If that’s not God / Christ at work, then I don’t know what is.
Like I said, I’ve been lagging in joining a church here, and I’m not proud of that, but my faith in Christ is unshakable at this point.
I’m not a perfect Christian, but I believe. I also believe it’s everyone's free choice to believe or not to believe. I can only share my testimony and leave it up to others to decide what’s best for them.
I just know that my life got a whole lot better when I went all in for Jesus, and that’s good enough for me.