The love/sex/relationship thread

[Gracii Guns]

So a job has come up in Pittsburgh. It's like my old job, but the next rung up the ladder. I'm up for an adventure.

My husband doesn't want to move there, even though in web development, he's employable anywhere in the world.

Edit: I had a chat with their Editor and he's happy to consider remote working.

I applied with a letter basically saying "you're not going to hire me because I'm 8 hours ahead of you, but here's mu CV anyway..."

Sounds like an interesting opportunity. Would your husband consider it if it was fixed term, as in we'll do this for 2 years then return?

I know some people are less adventurous about moving around than others but post 30 ish it becomes harder to take opportunities as kids, mortgages, elderly relatives etc.. all start to kick in.

One of my biggest regrets is that I have never lived more than 5 miles away from where I grew up (this may not be the case for you I realise) age almost 40 I have very little choice or control over being able to change this and even if I did I would have to drag a load of people along with me who would probably never stop moaning about how i've ruined their life! <big sigh>

Yeah...I've suggested that we see the world for a couple of years. I think much of his resistance is that he got a new job in March, and has never been happier than working there. It is a job with great potential, and he will be looked after as time goes on. He now earns more than I ever did, so if he is going to be the main breadwinner, it makes sense to stick with his job. He's also a real homebody.

On paper, I fit that job 100%. To the point where it's likely I'd be the most suitable candidate by far. So they might be flexible with me anyway. The industry is small and we have many colleagues in common who will be able to put a good word in for me.

My other prospects with freelancing are really warming now anyway.

On a serious note though Grace, I would absolutely consider it. Even if you dont like the idea of Pittsburgh it could still be a means to an end. I mean the hardest part of getting into the US is getting sponsorship so you can get a green card. If you can get an employer to give you that sponsorship its a foot in the door from where you can start applying to jobs in more desirable parts of the country. Id do it in a heartbeat given the opportunity.

Yeah, do it Grace, put yourself about a bit (not like that! ), oppertunities like that dont happen for just anybody and if your Hubs can do his thingie wherever hes at then whats the problem, I'm sure you've had your fill of the WUUUUUUNDERFUL north by now and even if you haven't it'll be here when you get back, God knows that craphouse has been like it is since the dawn of time, McLeods right (far right on occasion!) you need to get on that girlie . The Pits vs Pittsburgh, i know which I'd choose!

It's convincing the husband...not me. We did six years of a long-distance relationship, which was ok before we were married. Joe says that he's not going to get into the States because he doesn't have a degree.

The choice of York was simple; his mother is long-term ill- we need to be there for when she's in hospital, which will only become more frequent. All my friends live here, Lord knows that I don't see enough of them.

I'll ask him one final time.

Edited October 15, 2015 by Gracii Guns

[Axls Rocket Queen]

7 months today

7 months what?

Until I'll be a Mrs.

[Len Cnut]

So a job has come up in Pittsburgh. It's like my old job, but the next rung up the ladder. I'm up for an adventure.

My husband doesn't want to move there, even though in web development, he's employable anywhere in the world.

Edit: I had a chat with their Editor and he's happy to consider remote working.

I applied with a letter basically saying "you're not going to hire me because I'm 8 hours ahead of you, but here's mu CV anyway..."

Sounds like an interesting opportunity. Would your husband consider it if it was fixed term, as in we'll do this for 2 years then return?

I know some people are less adventurous about moving around than others but post 30 ish it becomes harder to take opportunities as kids, mortgages, elderly relatives etc.. all start to kick in.

One of my biggest regrets is that I have never lived more than 5 miles away from where I grew up (this may not be the case for you I realise) age almost 40 I have very little choice or control over being able to change this and even if I did I would have to drag a load of people along with me who would probably never stop moaning about how i've ruined their life! <big sigh>

Yeah...I've suggested that we see the world for a couple of years. I think much of his resistance is that he got a new job in March, and has never been happier than working there. It is a job with great potential, and he will be looked after as time goes on. He now earns more than I ever did, so if he is going to be the main breadwinner, it makes sense to stick with his job. He's also a real homebody.

On paper, I fit that job 100%. To the point where it's likely I'd be the most suitable candidate by far. So they might be flexible with me anyway. The industry is small and we have many colleagues in common who will be able to put a good word in for me.

My other prospects with freelancing are really warming now anyway.

On a serious note though Grace, I would absolutely consider it. Even if you dont like the idea of Pittsburgh it could still be a means to an end. I mean the hardest part of getting into the US is getting sponsorship so you can get a green card. If you can get an employer to give you that sponsorship its a foot in the door from where you can start applying to jobs in more desirable parts of the country. Id do it in a heartbeat given the opportunity.

Yeah, do it Grace, put yourself about a bit (not like that! ), oppertunities like that dont happen for just anybody and if your Hubs can do his thingie wherever hes at then whats the problem, I'm sure you've had your fill of the WUUUUUUNDERFUL north by now and even if you haven't it'll be here when you get back, God knows that craphouse has been like it is since the dawn of time, McLeods right (far right on occasion!) you need to get on that girlie . The Pits vs Pittsburgh, i know which I'd choose!

It's convincing the husband...not me. We did six years of a long-distance relationship, which was ok before we were married. Joe says that he's not going to get into the States because he doesn't have a degree.

The choice of York was simple; his mother is long-term ill- we need to be there for when she's in hospital, which will only become more frequent. All my friends live here, Lord knows that I don't see enough of them.

I'll ask him one final time.

Look, if Gonzalez the mexican roadsweeper can get to America I'm sure your fella can, he's got a vocation and that...plus he'll be with you whoose there on a job offer so yous could get there and he could start applying from there or something, the arrangement'll be more airtight then, it's not like you're going there on the ponce, you're gonna be working and that, contributing. Worth a crack at least.

7 months today

7 months what?

Until I'll be a Mrs.

Are you havin' a fuckin' affair or something, is that what it is? Are you gonna have like a fuckin' Graduate moment, is Dustin Hoffman gonna charge up bangin' on the glass whilst you're at the alter going 'ELAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAINE' or what? (i cant imagine why he would since your names not Elaine, you know what i mean! )

[Axls Rocket Queen]

7 months today

7 months what?

Until I'll be a Mrs.

Are you havin' a fuckin' affair or something, is that what it is? Are you gonna have like a fuckin' Graduate moment, is Dustin Hoffman gonna charge up bangin' on the glass whilst you're at the alter going 'ELAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAINE' or what? (i cant imagine why he would since your names not Elaine, you know what i mean! )

I seriously have no idea what you just said

[Len Cnut]

7 months today

7 months what?

Until I'll be a Mrs.

Are you havin' a fuckin' affair or something, is that what it is? Are you gonna have like a fuckin' Graduate moment, is Dustin Hoffman gonna charge up bangin' on the glass whilst you're at the alter going 'ELAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAINE' or what? (i cant imagine why he would since your names not Elaine, you know what i mean! )

I seriously have no idea what you just said

I was insinuating that your lack of enthusiam towards your relationship could possibly be a consequence of your having an extra-marital affair, sort of like the movie The Graduate

[Axls Rocket Queen]

I was insinuating that your lack of enthusiam towards your relationship could possibly be a consequence of your having an extra-marital affair, sort of like the movie The Graduate

My lack of enthusiasm is largely towards the organising and expense of the thing and I think it's natural to be a bit apprehensive about entering the ultimate commitment with someone. I'm always enthusiastic about our relationship, been pretty ambivalent about marriage.

Edited October 15, 2015 by Axls Rocket Queen

[Len Cnut]

I was insinuating that your lack of enthusiam towards your relationship could possibly be a consequence of your having an extra-marital affair, sort of like the movie The Graduate

I like putting the mockers on things that i ain't 100% into cuz I'm a moody little madam

Fixed!

Jokes! Ignore me, I'm just winding you up

[Axls Rocket Queen]

Rude

[Johnny Drama]

I was insinuating that your lack of enthusiam towards your relationship could possibly be a consequence of your having an extra-marital affair, sort of like the movie The Graduate

My lack of enthusiasm is largely towards the organising and expense of the thing and I think it's natural to be a bit apprehensive about entering the ultimate commitment with someone. I'm always enthusiastic about our relationship, been pretty ambivalent about marriage.

Just get fuckin married surrounded by kittens wearing what you were when you first met.

/wedding planning

[Len Cnut]

I was insinuating that your lack of enthusiam towards your relationship could possibly be a consequence of your having an extra-marital affair, sort of like the movie The Graduate

My lack of enthusiasm is largely towards the organising and expense of the thing and I think it's natural to be a bit apprehensive about entering the ultimate commitment with someone. I'm always enthusiastic about our relationship, been pretty ambivalent about marriage.

Just get fuckin married surrounded by kittens wearing what you were when you first met.

/wedding planning

You and your fuckin' kittens! Edited October 15, 2015 by Len B'stard

[SoulMonster]

Why does a "great wedding" have to be equal to an "expensive wedding"? Girls are being tricked and fooled and humbugged by the wedding industry into paying out their fucking noses at a time in life when they typically don't have that kinda money to fullfil a fantasy that was inoculated in their brains in the first by an cynical industry. It's ridiculous. You don't need all that stuff and spend all that money to have a great and memorable ceremony celebrating the decision to be with someone for the rest of your life. Allow yourself to be creative, think differently, and most of all to put the love before fullfilling assumed material wedding obligations and requirements.

[Len Cnut]

Dont listen to him Syd, he a heathen!

[Chris1989]

I'm with Soulmonster.

[Len Cnut]

I'm with Soulmonster.

Like supporter like team, your lot play fuckin' cynical as well, thats why you're like this young man, were you an Arsenal supporter you'd be concerned with romantic notions of asthetics and beauty and romance too

Seriously though, why does everything have to be sensible pragmatic cynical way, it's become this trend in society 'lets look at this reasonably and sensibly here!' nah, fuck that, lets go mental! Christmas is commercial, weddings are commercialised notions, Easters commercial, Halloweens commercial, so whaaaaaaaaaaat, long as you get a big memorable day and a handsome booze up out of it who cares.

Edited October 15, 2015 by Len B'stard

[SoulMonster]

I'm with Soulmonster.

Like supporter like team, your lot play fuckin' cynical as well, thats why you're like this young man, were you an Arsenal supporter you'd be concerned with romantic notions of asthetics and beauty and romance too

Seriously though, why does everything have to be sensible pragmatic cynical way, it's become this trend in society 'lets look at this reasonably and sensibly here!' nah, fuck that, lets go mental! Christmas is commercial, weddings are commercialised notions, Easters commercial, Halloweens commercial, so whaaaaaaaaaaat, long as you get a big memorable day and a handsome booze up out of it who cares.

As if not paying out your nose for living up to certain social wedding expectations means you can't have a "big memorable day" or that it can't be just as beautiful and romantic...

[Len Cnut]

I suppose you have a point there. Still though

[Axls Rocket Queen]

Why does a "great wedding" have to be equal to an "expensive wedding"? Girls are being tricked and fooled and humbugged by the wedding industry into paying out their fucking noses at a time in life when they typically don't have that kinda money to fullfil a fantasy that was inoculated in their brains in the first by an cynical industry. It's ridiculous. You don't need all that stuff and spend all that money to have a great and memorable ceremony celebrating the decision to be with someone for the rest of your life. Allow yourself to be creative, think differently, and most of all to put the love before fullfilling assumed material wedding obligations and requirements.

We're trying where we can to avoid the 'traditional' stuff that we don't really want but people try to pressure you into, I guess for us it just has ended up being that the things we do want are expensive

Like our top things for having a fun wedding were having lots of our loved ones there with us, a good live band and great photos to remember it all...none of which come cheap unfortunately. We have saved in other ways though, like my dress was only £150 and we're not having any flowers for decoration at all, just simple bouquets and buttonholes, and my Dad called in a few favours to get us nice cars and drivers for the day. My fiance's designing all our printwork too, and we're keeping things like order of service to a minimum as they just get left anyway, and our church has projector screens for song words so they're not really needed

Edited October 15, 2015 by Axls Rocket Queen

[Len Cnut]

Give our Graeme a bell for the live band, I'm sure he can learn some weddingey type numbers for your benefit!

[Axls Rocket Queen]

Give our Graeme a bell for the live band, I'm sure he can learn some weddingey type numbers for your benefit!

He's already providing music for our first dance

[streak]

Imagine Len singing at your wedding.

Pissed.

[Len Cnut]

For all they know i could have the voice of an angel

[Chris1989]

Are you Zayn from 1 erection?

[Len Cnut]

How dare you accuse me of being a northerner!

[Apollo]

I'm with Soulmonster.

Weddings don't need to be big expensive extravagant events. It's basically all about ego and "look at me, look at me, look at me."

They are supposed to be an event to celebrate the joining of matrimony between two people. Not something for girls to use as bragging methods over their friends. It's not about getting 1,000 perfect pictures, serving lobster, having the most expensive dress - it's about celebrating the love that two people have and are committing to each other.

A wedding is about two people being in love. Not about how big and fancy we can make the party.

My buddy got married a couple years ago. The bride's dad gave them a $20,000 budget and said "you keep whatever isn't spent on the wedding, that's your present." They got married at the court-house, had a reception for all their family and friends. Then used the other $19 grand to spend a month in Europe on vacation and put a down payment on a house.

[Chris1989]

Hero