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The love/sex/relationship thread


Lithium

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2 months ago I started talking to a new coworker, we hit it off quick. Turns out she had a crush on me and as a result we banged on the second date.

Well a few dates later, I learned I had feelings for her too. Despite my best efforts, my attraction and lust came at her with full force. She became the only thing on my mind.

We agreed to keep it a secret, but it didn't take long for her to open her mouth and as a result, everyone at work knows our little secret.

To make matters worse it is quite obvious my boss has it for her and it is obvious she flirts with him as well.

This is a huge red flag to me.

I have considered dumping her multiple times. Once on her 'week', I asked if she 'wanted it to be over.' She burst into tears.

I guess the bottom of it all is that I don't trust her. She has tremendous self-confidence issues and jealousy problems. Ironically, I do as well but try my best to refrain from exposing them.

I am considering just asking whether she has feelings for this other guy.

If those two get together my fucking pride will go down the shitter. That'll be the end of my job and my girlfriend will only be an ex.

I am such a sensitive little fucker. I hate it.

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2 months ago I started talking to a new coworker, we hit it off quick. Turns out she had a crush on me and as a result we banged on the second date.

Well a few dates later, I learned I had feelings for her too. Despite my best efforts, my attraction and lust came at her with full force. She became the only thing on my mind.

We agreed to keep it a secret, but it didn't take long for her to open her mouth and as a result, everyone at work knows our little secret.

To make matters worse it is quite obvious my boss has it for her and it is obvious she flirts with him as well.

This is a huge red flag to me.

I have considered dumping her multiple times. Once on her 'week', I asked if she 'wanted it to be over.' She burst into tears.

I guess the bottom of it all is that I don't trust her. She has tremendous self-confidence issues and jealousy problems. Ironically, I do as well but try my best to refrain from exposing them.

I am considering just asking whether she has feelings for this other guy.

If those two get together my fucking pride will go down the shitter. That'll be the end of my job and my girlfriend will only be an ex.

I am such a sensitive little fucker. I hate it.

Hold back on the emotional attachment, keep shagging her on the side, treat her like a side-piece or a FWB until such time as she reciprocates with the kinds of feelings you apparently have for her. In short, don't play yourself, chill out, take things easy. Only known her two months, whats the rush?

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You say it and you respectfully walk away ( and give up on her ) if she isn't interested in giving you that.

Most guys don't have the courage to give up and would rather stay in a fake friendship in the hope that she will someday change her mind...They never do and you end up wasting your time and getting attached to someone who will never see you as more than a friend until you know your worth.

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You say it and you respectfully walk away ( and give up on her ) if she isn't interested in giving you that.

Most guys don't have the courage to give up and would rather stay in a fake friendship in the hope that she will someday change her mind...They never do and you end up wasting your time and getting attached to someone who will never see you as more than a friend until you know your worth.

The thing about that too is it's not really giving up. It's just respecting the fact that you want more from that person than just friends. The best way to go about this is if the girl says all the cliches that you're a great guy and you do have a connection AS FRIENDS and she really hopes you can remain friends you just gotta be straight up honest and say no. Say it in a way that makes her realize she's losing a great guy. Like "I'm really sorry but I don't agree. I feel there is something more between us and by staying friends it's unfair to me as I will always want more from you and in turn that will be unfair to you as you'll always question my motives for being your friend. I honestly felt we had something worth more than just friends but if you don't feel that way then it's best we no longer see each other at all, as hard as that will be"

You word it something like that and be sincere about it and walk away. You have to be prepared to never really see her again BUT the funny thing about this is the girl often times will come back to you. She sees you in a different light. She sees you're confident, she sees you can survive without her, she sees you know what you want and aren't willing to settle for less. You also have to make it where she's no longer a top priority if she does come back. You can't jump the minute she texts or calls or wants to make plans. You have to make it clear to her that you're not a yo-yo. This is where it gets tricky though because you do still want to see her at some point but in a way you have to let her take the lead an initiate things. If you eventually accept an invite to get together you can't act all in love. It's now her turn to work for you because you already did that and she turned you down. She wanted just friends and you didn't, so now you gotta be careful that she's not playing you because she knows exactly how you feel. Yes she misses you but does she now see you as date material or not.

Isn't dating wonerful :lol:

Edited by Bono
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