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Lets do another inappropriate jokes thread....


Towelie

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Couldn't find the last one.

So sad to hear about the tragic death of Whitney Houston's daughter Bobbi Kristina who, like her mother, was found unconscious in the bathtub having taken an overdose. Moral of the story? If you're a Houston, take a shower.


US rockers Eagles of Death Metal have been dropped by their French label after poor sales of their last album.

Too soon?

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Couldn't find the last one.

So sad to hear about the tragic death of Whitney Houston's daughter Bobbi Kristina who, like her mother, was found unconscious in the bathtub having taken an overdose. Moral of the story? If you're a Houston, take a shower.

US rockers Eagles of Death Metal have been dropped by their French label after poor sales of their last album.

Too soon?

"The band stated that ticket holders from their November show at the Bataclan will be able to attend the Paris concert for free"

They should write that anyone who has got a Bataclan ticket AND alive should go free

OMG HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

no

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costume!

What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead baby? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

What's the difference between a onion and a baby? Nobody cries when you chop the baby.

How do you get a hundred babies in a bucket? You blend them.

How do you get them out again? With chips.

What is the worst part about killing a baby? Getting blood on your clown costume.

And here's the most inappropriate joke that I can think of right now:

What is a foot long and can make a woman scream? Stillbirth.

Edited by AslatIE
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A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit together in the woods. The bear turns to the rabbit and asks, "Do you ever have trouble with shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit says "No," so the bear wipes his ass with the rabbit.

Thats a good one.

What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costume!

What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead baby? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

What's the difference between a onion and a baby? Nobody cries when you chop the baby.

How do you get a hundred babies in a bucket? You blend them.

How do you get them out again? With chips.

What is the worst part about killing a baby? Getting blood on your clown costume.

And here's the most inappropriate joke that I can think of right now:

What is a foot long and can make a woman scream? Stillbirth.

Thats some fucked up shit man.

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So this birds at a bar, drunk, black geezer chats her up, buys her a few drinks, they skip off to hers, start going at it hammer and tongs, proper havin' it, so he's getting her clothes, they're all pressed up and she goes 'oh go on, do what you black bastards do best'...wakes up next morning and her tellys gone.

Whats the difference between Gareth Gates and Harold Shipman?

Neither of em can finish a sentence.

Mans father dies on Christmas Eve, gets home to find his wifes left him and taken the kids, hes in bits right, goes up on the roof to commit suicide and who should be there but a man with a big white beard and a red suit. He goes listen son, I can grant you any wish, bring your kids and your old man back...so the fella goes how, how?!? He goes im santa claus and its christmas eve, jus wish for it. So he goes alright, i wish my wife and kids and old man came back...Santas like alright but you gotta do something for me, its been a long night granting wishes and i could do with a cocksuck...bloke goes 'you what?!?' Santa goes 'you want your family back or what?!?' So he goes alright, goes down on him, gives him a crackin' blowie til he spunks right in his mouth. He goes alright, now gimme my family back...as hes zipping up he takes the beard and hat off and goes 'bit old to believe in Santa Claus ain'tcha? I just moved in across the street, Merry Christmas'.

Edited by Len B'stard
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Why do black people wear baggy trousers?

Because their knee grows.

What was Bin Ladens favourite dessert?

Big Apple Crumble

What do you call a woman with no clit?

Dont matter, she aint gonna come.

Why do women have periods?

Because they fuckin' deserve em

Why did the Romans build straight roads?

So Pakis couldnt build no cornershops

How'd you confuse an Irishman?

Take him to a round room and tell him to piss in a corner.

What was Harold Shipmans last meal?

A curry, he was quite pleased with it though he said he could murder a naan.

What has 24 unopened doors?

Madeline McCanns advent calendar

Edited by Len B'stard
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So one day Adam is hanging in the Garden of Eden and he runs into God. God starts telling him about this awesome new creature he's been working on. "Yeah, Adam, this thing is great. It'll tend to your every need, satisfy your every desire, cook, clean, you name it." Adam says "Wow, that sounds great. Do I have to give anything up?" "Unfortunately, I'm gonna need an arm and a leg," replies God. Adam considers...

"What can I get for a rib?"

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