The love/sex/relationship thread

[Dazey]

There is no escaping your mother-in-law despising you. It's in their work description. The flipside to this is that you can do anything you want and it won't really make a difference. You might even have some fun with it. Dress really saucy in her vicinity, tongue lick your boyfriend, use sexual innuendos in every sentence, and so on. See if you can make her steam from her ears.

Do what I did and marry somebody whose parents live 4000 miles away.

Or what we're doing and move 5000 miles away

Tomayto/tomahto.

[Redhead74]

Seperate bedrooms? You are mid 20's not mid teens. Christian parents annoy me because they are so hypocritical.

Even if you're going to play the Christian card, it still makes no sense She said to him "my house, my rules" which is fair enough, but when he said we obviously sleep together when we're at each other's places she was like "you shouldn't be doing that"...regardless of what you believe about sex before marriage, there is no reason why a couple can't sleep in the same bed.

Which begs the question.....if you guys get married is she going to expect your parent's to pay a dowry?

Or even worse, they join you both to 'put you to bed' at the end of the wedding:

In Scotland , it was not uncommon for couples to be put to bed by their family and friends at the end of the wedding, a symbolic behaviour showing the communities endorsement of the marriage and the following consummation.

http://womenshistorynetwork.org/blog/?p=1006

[Axls Rocket Queen]

Seperate bedrooms? You are mid 20's not mid teens. Christian parents annoy me because they are so hypocritical.

Even if you're going to play the Christian card, it still makes no sense She said to him "my house, my rules" which is fair enough, but when he said we obviously sleep together when we're at each other's places she was like "you shouldn't be doing that"...regardless of what you believe about sex before marriage, there is no reason why a couple can't sleep in the same bed.

Which begs the question.....if you guys get married is she going to expect your parent's to pay a dowry?

Or even worse, they join you both to 'put you to bed' at the end of the wedding:

In Scotland , it was not uncommon for couples to be put to bed by their family and friends at the end of the wedding, a symbolic behaviour showing the communities endorsement of the marriage and the following consummation.

http://womenshistorynetwork.org/blog/?p=1006

Oh my

Fortunately the Scottish relatives are all my side and are a bit more progressive, so there'll be none of that thank you!

Edited December 15, 2014 by Axls Rocket Queen

[Gracii Guns]

Got home from a truly horrible day at work today to be told that we're being kicked out of the flat we rent so my landlord can keep his multi-occupancy licence. He told us that it would be fine for me to move in 6 months ago.

We live in a really expensive city, neither of us earn much and I need to live near the station so I can travel to work. We're already renting the bottom of the barrel, sharing a toilet and bathroom, with no washing machine, microwave or other considerably normal things.

We have no idea where to go right now. There is a flat downstairs, but it is much smaller, and the bills are higher as it is self-contained. We might take it, but it doesn't have a separate bedroom, we'd have our bed in the living room. Not nice if we ever had visitors.

I was wondering when marriage would get as difficult as they said it would.

[Graeme]

Shit, that's terrible, Grace. You totally don't deserve trouble like this. None of us can really say anything to help, but I really hope you get the best solution possible, as soon as.

[alfierose]

That's awful Gracii, I hope you find a solution soon.

[The Sandman]

Fingers crossed you'll get lucky with something close

[Gracii Guns]

Thank you for your sympathy Graeme, Alfie and Sandy. We've wokred out that we can afford to increase our budget, as long as we tighten our belts elsewhere. We are viewing a house on Saturday morning!

[Axls Rocket Queen]

Good luck Gracii!

The boy arrives tomorrow afternoon, we're going to be viewing places before we head off for Christmas

[The Sandman]

Thank you for your sympathy Graeme, Alfie and Sandy. We've wokred out that we can afford to increase our budget, as long as we tighten our belts elsewhere. We are viewing a house on Saturday morning!

I think it's easier to scrimp elsewhere if you have even a half-way decent place. Good luck!

[Dazey]

Thank you for your sympathy Graeme, Alfie and Sandy. We've wokred out that we can afford to increase our budget, as long as we tighten our belts elsewhere. We are viewing a house on Saturday morning!

All the best Gracii, that's really shitty news. Hope you get sorted soon.

[streak]

Gracie, first off sorry to hear about your current situation.

It's always difficult in situations like this.

Being a property 'professional' start looking asap

Try spare room.co.uk and gumtree.com. There's a lot of studio flats etc that include bills which will be easier.

Good luck and if you need any advice just ask

[Gracii Guns]

Gracie, first off sorry to hear about your current situation.

It's always difficult in situations like this.

Being a property 'professional' start looking asap

Try spare room.co.uk and gumtree.com. There's a lot of studio flats etc that include bills which will be easier.

Good luck and if you need any advice just ask

Thank you streak, your knowledge will be really helpful.

We had a viewing booked for Saturday, but they cancelled on us today. The estate agent offered us another place, but it is uncomfortably expensive. We're still going to look round it, plus one or two other places (one we've found on Gumtree). We've not found anywhere else that's nearly as cheap as we're paying now.

This must be a pretty slow week for getting new rentals on the market, will it be worth waiting until the new year to see what comes up?

I just don't like the feeling of being exploited, although my husband and I are both in 'professional' jobs, we don't earn enough to get onto the housing ladder, and saving up for a deposit is really difficult because of the extortionate rents.

One good thing from all this is that my landlord is going to try to return our deposit to us before we move out, so we don't struggle as much securing our next place.

[Axls Rocket Queen]

I feel your pain Gracii The Guildford property market is horrendous, the rent prices down here just make me want to give up

[AdriftatSea]

Thinking about you Gracii. Hope something comes up for you really soon.

[Lithium]

Downzy

[Dr. Who]

[Axls Rocket Queen]

Any updates Gracii?

I'm not considering these things, it's too early for this, but I just wanted to know opinions.

What's the minimum time in a relationship before you would bring up moving in together, and then to actually do it?

Would you even consider it if you weren't engaged?

I've got a few friends who have gotten engaged but not moved in together yet, and it just seems a bit odd to me that you would start towards a life commitment without knowing if you could live together?

It's ultimately an individual thing, but I wouldn't like to get engaged before living together (or at least be intending to move in shortly after), certainly I wouldn't get married before living together. As for time being together, I wouldn't get engaged earlier than 2 years with someone, I'd move in with someone quicker than that depending on the circumstances though.

Everyone's different though.

[Axl_morris]

Split up with my gf who i was with nearly 5 years. Moved back home which i haven't lived since i was 16. So weird being back home, quite a life changing few weeks. Got to keep my job up here though and got 2 weeks off for christmas so time i'll use to adjust.

Edited December 21, 2014 by Axl_morris

[Redhead74]

Got home from a truly horrible day at work today to be told that we're being kicked out of the flat we rent so my landlord can keep his multi-occupancy licence. He told us that it would be fine for me to move in 6 months ago.

We live in a really expensive city, neither of us earn much and I need to live near the station so I can travel to work. We're already renting the bottom of the barrel, sharing a toilet and bathroom, with no washing machine, microwave or other considerably normal things.

We have no idea where to go right now. There is a flat downstairs, but it is much smaller, and the bills are higher as it is self-contained. We might take it, but it doesn't have a separate bedroom, we'd have our bed in the living room. Not nice if we ever had visitors.

I was wondering when marriage would get as difficult as they said it would.

Sorry to hear this Grace. Life can be so brutal sometimes. But I know that you guys will do what's necessary to come through it. That's the measure of a strong relationship. Remember, there's two of you to deal with this situation so you have double the strength to tackle it.

And you know what? You might actually end up with something better.

[Redhead74]

Any updates Gracii?

I'm not considering these things, it's too early for this, but I just wanted to know opinions.

What's the minimum time in a relationship before you would bring up moving in together, and then to actually do it?

Would you even consider it if you weren't engaged?

I've got a few friends who have gotten engaged but not moved in together yet, and it just seems a bit odd to me that you would start towards a life commitment without knowing if you could live together?

If you get engaged to someone before you've lived together, even for 6 months, you're nuts.

If you get engaged without having gone through a couple of crisis together (however long that takes), you're taking huge risks.

When you take huge risks, the result is 100% your own responsibility.

Don't worry about what everyone else is doing. Use your own moral compass to make decisions. If everything falls apart no one else will be there to claim responsibility.

[Gracii Guns]

Hey guys,

Thanks for asking Chris, and thanks for your positive attitude Redhead.

We've found a flat that's going to fit the bill, hubby's going to view it tomorrow, but we've already filled out the necessary forms and written a cheque to get the place as soon as he's viewed it. It is more expensive and in a worse location, but is will be a much nicer flat, in a posher area, with a spare bedroom for visitors.

Chris, we got engaged before we moved in together, but we were together for five years by then, and it was pretty much a given that we'd be getting married anyway. I don't regret it. I do recommend that you at least go through a crisis or two to test the relationship before you commit your life so someone...we met when my mum was in the final stage of cancer, and she died before we got to the 6 month mark, and a few other family deaths followed, so we know how to support each other in a bad situation. As ARQ said, it is different for everyone though, and although when you're older you can commit quicker, you also know yourself better so it's ok to do that. I've learned not to judge people who do rush into marriage, or have a child quickly, everyone's on their own journey. You do what's right for you.

Edited December 21, 2014 by Gracii Guns

[Dazey]

Any updates Gracii?

I'm not considering these things, it's too early for this, but I just wanted to know opinions.

What's the minimum time in a relationship before you would bring up moving in together, and then to actually do it?

Would you even consider it if you weren't engaged?

I've got a few friends who have gotten engaged but not moved in together yet, and it just seems a bit odd to me that you would start towards a life commitment without knowing if you could live together?

It's ultimately an individual thing, but I wouldn't like to get engaged before living together (or at least be intending to move in shortly after), certainly I wouldn't get married before living together. As for time being together, I wouldn't get engaged earlier than 2 years with someone, I'd move in with someone quicker than that depending on the circumstances though.

Everyone's different though.

I agree with pretty much everything you just said despite adhering to none of it.

[Axls Rocket Queen]

So looks like we might be able to take over a flat that is literally across the road from my work and current flat It's well within our budget, a good size, fab location and a private let that some friends are moving out of so there wouldn't be agency fees.

[tomfriend]

Split up with my gf who i was with nearly 5 years. Moved back home which i haven't lived since i was 16. So weird being back home, quite a life changing few weeks. Got to keep my job up here though and got 2 weeks off for christmas so time i'll use to adjust.

Keep on keeping on man. Not a profound statement, just the only appropriate one.