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The love/sex/relationship thread


Lithium

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Agreed. I think the point I was trying to make is online makes people more picky than they probably would be in reality.

I have a few friends who have gone away from their 'usual type' -not necessarily had that initial 'wow' Factor and have found that the slow burn has turned into something truly special and lasting for them.

 

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...Or picky for different reasons than they would be in person. I guess you can't differentiate too strongly between 'online' and 'reality' because ultimately everyone's behaviour that manifests online is a product of how they conduct themselves in the real world, (even people who lie about who they are online).

But I guess the 'real life' equivalent of this online dating stuff would be announcing that you're single and looking for a relationship up front to everyone you met and having them make that snap decision there and then. I don't think any of the people that I've fallen for I'd have been able to predict how I would come to feel about them even from my first conversations with them, nevermind just looking at a picture and a few stats on a webpage. That's what feels artificial and also a little bit desperate, but maybe I'm just a dinosaur...

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2 hours ago, Wagszilla said:

There have been multiple large scale studies about the effects of anonymity and a person's behavior. 

Also I disagree. I'm far more eloquent when I have time to gather my thoughts into text although I am far more charming in person and this is to my advantage to approach women in person. You could get a sense of me eventually online but I'm not the same person per se. It's like a stage persona and who you are when you're kicking the shit with friends. 

It's a Buyer's Market for women and supply is high and their demand is low. I would also argue that younger women are either chasing either casual sex with an elite few or a non-existent fairy tale that they'll never find but that's a long topic of discussion.

I think both sexes are deluded and going about everything wrong but whatever. 

"Use your illusion"

But to a greater or lesser extent, you change who you are, the way you speak, the manner in which you express your opinions etc. in 'real life' interaction with people as well, depending on the situation. You could argue that the way you are online is just an extension of that. Even if you're telling outright lies about who you are and where you're from online, those lies are still coming from you and there are reasons, known only to you, that you're telling them. I think the people who've met me from the forum would probably say that there's no identifiable gulf between my 'persona' on here and the person they met IRL. Though I would agree about having time to type permitting a greater degree of eloquence.

That's a bit of an aside from the main point of my post, which was that when I meet girls in real life, my opening statement generally isn't "I'm single and seeking someone, do I look like potential boyfriend material to you?" Which is the part of the online dating thing I find a bit cringey. 

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I've never used online dating (apart from one date with a former member here, who was actually a pretty good personality match IMO) but a friend of mine has stopped using online dating. His reason is that you judge people based on a profile photo. One of his longest, happiest relationships was with a chunky girl, who he would have overlooked if all he saw of her was a photo. 

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1 hour ago, SoulMonster said:

I had my balls cut today. I am sterile. 

Apparently, when my Gran was trying to convince my Grandpa to have this done, he was convinced that the procedure would turn him into a homosexual... 

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1 hour ago, SoulMonster said:

I had my balls cut today. I am sterile. 

Really?!?!?!  Can you still like...enjoy yourself?  Why would you do that man, thats grim.  Vasectomys i mean.  Thats like 50% of the reason for living gone.  The other 50 being beer.

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13 minutes ago, Len B'stard said:

Really?!?!?!  Can you still like...enjoy yourself?  Why would you do that man, thats grim.  Vasectomys i mean.  Thats like 50% of the reason for living gone.  The other 50 being beer.

Fucked up shit. To be honest I think it's wrong to do such things to your body and there is no good reason to do it really. Not good enough. Anything that you'd like to achieve as a man can be done without fucking up your balls. Seems like sometimes it's a control issue thing and sometimes simply going too far but it will never seem like a good idea to me but I'm probably biased cause it's not acceptable in my country and I just can't see the logic in doing that.

Edited by Rovim
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My longest, most successful relationship has been through online dating. We are still together after 1.5 years.

Granted, I had to slog through a lot of really bad dates to meet my current girlfriend. For a lot of people, it's not worth it and thats completely understandable.

In my mind, dating through online or more "traditional" methods make no difference. Ultimately, a successful relationship still comes down to the same traits: Trust, communication, shared interests, respect, attraction, etc etc. Whether you reach that method online or not, the people behind the screen still need to figure out a way to work.

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You know that feeling of pain you have 5 minutes after having been kicked in the balls? Where the acute pain is replaced with a throbbing hurt in your stomach? Yep. 

And what a strange feeling to have a stranger handle your balls, and in such a non-loving, professional manner. Like all business like. Well, that feeling was still better than the feeling when he started sticking needles into them. 

 

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1 hour ago, Len B'stard said:

Really?!?!?!  Can you still like...enjoy yourself?  Why would you do that man, thats grim.  Vasectomys i mean.  Thats like 50% of the reason for living gone.  The other 50 being beer.

Enjoy myself? Fuck, I can barely walk. 

50 % of your reason for living is having sperm cells in your ejaculate? 10 years ago this would have been a disaster, now it is great. Well, no, in two days it will be great. I hope. 

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1 minute ago, SoulMonster said:

Enjoy myself? Fuck, I can barely walk. 

50 % of your reason for living is having sperm cells in your ejaculate? 10 years ago this would have been a disaster, now it is great. Well, no, in two days it will be great. I hope. 

I wish i was near you, i have an amazing joke i could play right now that utilises the name of the Capital city of Thailand :D

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1 hour ago, Rovim said:

Fucked up shit. To be honest I think it's wrong to do such things to your body and there is no good reason to do it really. Not good enough. Anything that you'd like to achieve as a man can be done without fucking up your balls. Seems like sometimes it's a control issue thing and sometimes simply going too far but it will never seem like a good idea to me but I'm probably biased cause it's not acceptable in my country and I just can't see the logic in doing that.

What? Not acceptable in your country? Haha, that's funny. 

In the long run it is cheaper and more efficious :/

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Ugh. Wife keeps nagging me to get cut. We've had our 2 kids and don't want any more. But a large portion of me is worried about how much pain or discomfort it will be, and an equal portion of me feels 26 is a bit too young to have such a thing done. Damn ego of mine. 

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3 hours ago, Graeme said:

Apparently, when my Gran was trying to convince my Grandpa to have this done, he was convinced that the procedure would turn him into a homosexual... 

Your gran should have listened to him. Gay couples tend to not be as functional at procreation as hetero couples. 

 

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