The love/sex/relationship thread

[Dr. Who]

"In many cultures' pasts there has been the concept of of creating "love potions" for the person you're currently crushing on and often times the ingredients included adding a little bit of yourself to the concoction. Hair, skin flakes and often blood are called for to increase the potency of the elixir.

Now the disturbing bit, in recent years a Twitter trend in Japan has been calling to add menstrual blood to their 本命チョコ (honmei-choco, or affection chocolates) that are given out during the Valentines season.

It's fairly common practice in Japan for girls to make their own chocolates to give out to their crush, but this really brings some concern to the whole thing. Now, granted not everyone is doing this and more likely than not, no one (I hope) is actually doing this. It has, however been talked about at length on Twitter."

http://media.goboiano.com/original/2393-wtf%253A-menstrual-blood-valentine%2527s-chocolate-is-a-real-thing-in-japan

[Apollo]

All I want is true love for once. I want my dreams to come true.

I want to be slow dancing on a Christmas night to this song

With a woman who'll always be there. Who won't play mind games or have ex baggage. Who'll just love me for me and I'll give her all the love I have in me. I know you guys think I'm just a mean horrid person. But I have a lot of love in me, and I just wish I could have the chance to give it to someone who'd appreciate it.

With Erica, I gave her everything. I'd sit for hours watching her paint on Skype...Seven hours straight sometimes...Just to show her I believed in her talent because at the time she didn't. She was in an art class and the professor basically shattered her confidence and I'd sit and watch her to show her I believed in her, with the selfless hope that she'd perhaps gain back her faith in herself. I sat up with her night after night promising her I'd never leave her when she'd say she was garbage, not worth it and when she begged me to swear I'd never leave. And even when she told me she loved Patrick, I still didn't leave, because, Miser though I am, I didn't want to hurt her feelings and break all the promises I'd made and validate all her insecurities that she'd had which I'd helped her to overcome. I was willing to stay with her when she gave me the option, knowing she loved another man, because I couldn't give up on her and show her she was right in hating herself as she had had for so long. So...knowing if I stayed that her heart would be torn in two, between he and I, for perhaps months on end, knowing that long term, being with me while loving him would fuck with her head and make her feel horrible...I made the decision easier for her. I got drunk and called her names, the exact thing she asked me not to ever do...Which made her decision making easier and spared her the guilt and pain she might otherwise have had in the long run. I took the blow and took the fall and pushed her away rather than hurt her more by having her stay. That's who I am at depth and who I want to be...I want to give all of myself to someone else.

I know a lot of you dislike me...Quite rightfully so in many cases...But Miser isn't all there is to who I am.

And moving into first place on the creepiest post of the year competition............

[AxlisOld]

All I want is true love for once. I want my dreams to come true.

I want to be slow dancing on a Christmas night to this song

With a woman who'll always be there. Who won't play mind games or have ex baggage. Who'll just love me for me and I'll give her all the love I have in me. I know you guys think I'm just a mean horrid person. But I have a lot of love in me, and I just wish I could have the chance to give it to someone who'd appreciate it.

With Erica, I gave her everything. I'd sit for hours watching her paint on Skype...Seven hours straight sometimes...Just to show her I believed in her talent because at the time she didn't. She was in an art class and the professor basically shattered her confidence and I'd sit and watch her to show her I believed in her, with the selfless hope that she'd perhaps gain back her faith in herself. I sat up with her night after night promising her I'd never leave her when she'd say she was garbage, not worth it and when she begged me to swear I'd never leave. And even when she told me she loved Patrick, I still didn't leave, because, Miser though I am, I didn't want to hurt her feelings and break all the promises I'd made and validate all her insecurities that she'd had which I'd helped her to overcome. I was willing to stay with her when she gave me the option, knowing she loved another man, because I couldn't give up on her and show her she was right in hating herself as she had had for so long. So...knowing if I stayed that her heart would be torn in two, between he and I, for perhaps months on end, knowing that long term, being with me while loving him would fuck with her head and make her feel horrible...I made the decision easier for her. I got drunk and called her names, the exact thing she asked me not to ever do...Which made her decision making easier and spared her the guilt and pain she might otherwise have had in the long run. I took the blow and took the fall and pushed her away rather than hurt her more by having her stay. That's who I am at depth and who I want to be...I want to give all of myself to someone else.

I know a lot of you dislike me...Quite rightfully so in many cases...But Miser isn't all there is to who I am.

And moving into first place on the creepiest post of the year competition............

Likely just edging out another of his own posts.

[arnold layne]

First fucking time I bought some chick something on Valentine's Day.

It's a historic day but honestly doesn't feel too historic.

Can't wait to get drunk as fuck tonight. Drunk as fuck.

[spunko12345]

First fucking time I bought some chick something on Valentine's Day.

It's a historic day but honestly doesn't feel too historic.

Can't wait to get drunk as fuck tonight. Drunk as fuck.

What did you get her? I went the chocolate and flowers route. Uninspired.

[Lithium]

I'm taking my Tinder date on a gym date this week

[Dr. Who]

All I want is true love for once. I want my dreams to come true.

I want to be slow dancing on a Christmas night to this song

With a woman who'll always be there. Who won't play mind games or have ex baggage. Who'll just love me for me and I'll give her all the love I have in me. I know you guys think I'm just a mean horrid person. But I have a lot of love in me, and I just wish I could have the chance to give it to someone who'd appreciate it.

With Erica, I gave her everything. I'd sit for hours watching her paint on Skype...Seven hours straight sometimes...Just to show her I believed in her talent because at the time she didn't. She was in an art class and the professor basically shattered her confidence and I'd sit and watch her to show her I believed in her, with the selfless hope that she'd perhaps gain back her faith in herself. I sat up with her night after night promising her I'd never leave her when she'd say she was garbage, not worth it and when she begged me to swear I'd never leave. And even when she told me she loved Patrick, I still didn't leave, because, Miser though I am, I didn't want to hurt her feelings and break all the promises I'd made and validate all her insecurities that she'd had which I'd helped her to overcome. I was willing to stay with her when she gave me the option, knowing she loved another man, because I couldn't give up on her and show her she was right in hating herself as she had had for so long. So...knowing if I stayed that her heart would be torn in two, between he and I, for perhaps months on end, knowing that long term, being with me while loving him would fuck with her head and make her feel horrible...I made the decision easier for her. I got drunk and called her names, the exact thing she asked me not to ever do...Which made her decision making easier and spared her the guilt and pain she might otherwise have had in the long run. I took the blow and took the fall and pushed her away rather than hurt her more by having her stay. That's who I am at depth and who I want to be...I want to give all of myself to someone else.

I know a lot of you dislike me...Quite rightfully so in many cases...But Miser isn't all there is to who I am.

And moving into first place on the creepiest post of the year competition............

Explain what is "creepy" (most overused word in 21st century lingo, used to describe anything we don't like nowadays) about it. Be specific. Do not engage in generalities.

I expressed in that post a desire to have a lasting relationship with someone who doesn't have any ex baggage or who won't play mind games.

I laid out that if I was to find that person, I'd do all I could to make them feel loved and appreciated. I used my last relationship wherein the break up actually was NOT my fault as an example.

And, not feeling particularly happy that day, I wished some here would understand "Miser" and being a nasty prick isn't the sum and total of who I - as a person and not an internet persona - am.

[DR DOOM]

I understand you.

You're creepy

[Apollo]

I want to be slow dancing on a Christmas night to this song.

That is the yearning of a 13-year-old girl or somebody who lives their lives through fantasies of movies and TV shows. True love isn't a 3-minute dance on Christmas night, by the way. You should be yearning for something much mores substantial than that.

With a woman who'll always be there.

Duh. That's what everybody wants. Nobody in the world says "I want a spouse who won't be there for me."

Who won't play mind games

You can tell that on the first date. Cut and run at that point. You can tell that within 1-2 online conversations. You keep dating really crazy and needy people, and then wonder why they play mind games?

or have ex baggage.

Then don't date people who have had bad relationships. You say that, but yet you were still obsessed with your last girl. Even going so far as to wanting to meet - and be nice - to her ex. You seek out crazy women for a reason. Everybody has ex-baggage. It's just that some people are mature and intelligent enough to "get over it" and somebody stay focused on their ex's forever, or just use the "ex" thing as an excuse to lure in dudes like you.

Who'll just love me for me

That's what everybody wants.

and I'll give her all the love I have in me.

You don't think that sounds creepy? If a girl I was dating told me that she wanted to give me "all the love I have in me" I'd be out the f*cking door in a matter of minutes. This is a great example of what is so creepy about the way you act on here. This is a statement you make to somebody that you are deciding to marry or make a lifetime commitment to. These words shouldn't be spoken to each other in the first year of dating. And your idea of "all the love I have in me" is different than most people's. Watching somebody paint on Skype for 7 hours or staying with somebody who tells you they love somebody else - that isn't you showing/sharing all your love. Giving all your love doesn't mean "fixing" or proving something to somebody.

But I have a lot of love in me, and I just wish I could have the chance to give it to someone who'd appreciate it.

Again, you just described EVERY person in the history of the world. But the difference is you don't hear normal people speaking those words. Do you see Lithium on here talking about "all" the love he has to give? Again, these are things that 13 year old teenage girls say.

With Erica, I gave her everything. I'd sit for hours watching her paint on Skype...Seven hours straight sometimes...Just to show her I believed in her talent because at the time she didn't.

You didn't give her "everything" - you didn't giver her the things a normal, sane, intelligent man would give her.
If you can't see how CREEPY this is, then I'm not sure you actually know what the word creepy means. If a girl wanted to watch me paint (or write, or do anything) on Skype for 7-hours straight I'd be out of that relationship before our Skype session was over. What you did wasn't "love" Miser, it was what an obsessive stalker does. Doing crazy sh*t doesn't show somebody how much you love them, it just feeds into BOTH of your mental issues. What's next? You want her to point her camera towards her while she is sleeping so you can make sure nothing happens to her during the night? You aren't talking about love here, you are trying to "fix" somebody. That's not what happens in a healthy relationship.

She was in an art class and the professor basically shattered her confidence

Boofrigginhoo. Are you kidding me? I had a college professor tell me I was a terrible writer. So I worked harder and ended up being an editor at several different newspapers and having a book published. Not an e-book or a self-published book on Amazon. But a book that was published and sold to the public. If a college professor had that much of a negative influence where she still hadn't gotten over it, then she needs to start going to professional therapy ASAP. This girl needs help/therapy - but not from YOU or a boyfriend.

and I'd sit and watch her to show her I believed in her, with the selfless hope that she'd perhaps gain back her faith in herself.

Again. Creepy as hell. You sound like you are writing a romance novel. Maybe the girl didn't NEED you to fix her? Maybe your obsessive need to fix her and show her how much and deep your love is is the reason she dumped you for an ex? I would be money that every girl you've ever dated as described you as OVER-BEARING-AS-F*CK.

I sat up with her night after night promising her I'd never leave her when she'd say she was garbage, not worth it and when she begged me to swear I'd never leave.

Again, this entire sentence just screams "I need therapy." There is nothing at all healthy about either person in this conversation. How can you tell a girlfriend that you would never leave her? About 95% of all dating situations end up with a break-up. You were just feeding into her insecurities. She needed TOUGH love, not what you gave her.

And even when she told me she loved Patrick, I still didn't leave, because, Miser though I am, I didn't want to hurt her feelings and break all the promises I'd made and validate all her insecurities that she'd had which I'd helped her to overcome.

And again - you are just completely playing into her mental illness. You think you are doing something special here, but you are actually just feeding into her insecurities and letting her USE you. Don't you have any dignity? Let me ask you this. How can any woman ever give herself to you and trust that you are a stable, confident intelligent guy.....when you are willing to stay with a woman like the ex you just described? If a woman says she loves another man, you need to LEAVE the relationship. The fact you stayed with her is just, well, just creepy. Be a man, a boyfriend - and stop trying to be their bff.

I was willing to stay with her when she gave me the option, knowing she loved another man, because I couldn't give up on her and show her she was right in hating herself as she had had for so long.

Creepy. You somehow equate "your love and dedication" to her as what she needs to FIX herself?????? Think about that. Are you God? Your love is so strong that it can cure crazy? If I was dating a girl and realized I was in love with somebody else, and I told the current girl that.....and she said "I don't care, I'm staying with you. My love will help you become more confident." I'd kick her out the door so fast her head would spin. I don't care if she looked like Kate Upton - she'd be GONE minutes after uttering that phrase.

So...knowing if I stayed that her heart would be torn in two, between he and I, for perhaps months on end, knowing that long term, being with me while loving him would fuck with her head and make her feel horrible...I made the decision easier for her. I got drunk and called her names, the exact thing she asked me not to ever do...Which made her decision making easier and spared her the guilt and pain she might otherwise have had in the long run. I took the blow and took the fall and pushed her away rather than hurt her more by having her stay.

Holy Sh*t. One of the creepiest things I've ever read. Or you could have just said "Babe, you need to go figure out exactly what you want. You need to go fix yourself and become a happy person BEFORE you can be in a loving relationship. If you think you love Patrick, then go spend some time with him and see what happens. But I'm out of here. Good luck, I'll always be your friend, I hope you can find what you need to be happy." That's is what a NORMAL PERSON does in your situation. You are admitting that you MANIPULATED her with your actions. Taking the blow and sparing her feelings by calling her names, etc, etc, etc. You guys are two young people dating, dude. This wasn't a 20 year old marriage. Nobody does what you say that you did. No sane person.

That's who I am at depth and who I want to be...I want to give all of myself to someone else.

Great. Wait until you've been dating somebody a couple years and you decide to get married. Otherwise......you just scream of desperation. Every time you post one of these huge weird rants, NOBODY on this forum ever agrees with you. Not the men, not the women. Nobody ever says "Ya Miser, that makes perfect sense. You are right." Everybody always says that you sound overbearing and crazy. Everybody always says you end up dating crazy people - on purpose. And everybody says t hat you need to STOP dating and figure yourself out. But you completely ignore all that. Remember a couple months ago YOU said you were going to STOP dating and take some time to figure yourself out, find some inner peace, etc. Everybody said "that's exactly what you need to do." LESS THAN 24 HOURS after you posted that, you came back on here and said that just sent out like 30 letters to different women on an online dating site.

I know a lot of you dislike me...Quite rightfully so in many cases...But Miser isn't all there is to who I am.

Again, creepy. Do you see Dazey saying things about "Dazey isn't all there is to who I am." Do you see Lenny saying that? You see yourself as this "character" and nobody in the real world thinks like that.

Creepy is the most overused word in 21st century lingo? I didn't know that. I rarely hear people using it. Maybe you hear it more than the rest of us for a reason?

Creepy describes anything we don't like? No. Maybe that's your definition, but not most people's. I don't like smoking - but I don't call people who smoke creepy.

And internet persona.........again, who in real life says crap like that or thinks of themselves like that? Do you think Bono or Mags or ARQ goes around and talks about their screen names in third person? It's just weird.

People don't think you are a nasty prick. They think you are crazy and obsessive and that you are NEVER going to be happy in a relationship or have a healthy relationship with somebody UNTIL you work on fixing yourself. People get tired of giving you advice on here that you NEVER take. As long as you continue the way you are, without your obsessive/stalkerish crazy talk about how much love you have to give, you will NEVER meet and have a relationship with a normal girl. You will continue to hook-up with crazy unstable girls. And if you do meet a nice, respectful, normal type girl - she will dump you in a matter of days. Because you will scare her off with your desperation and obsessive need to make everything about yourself.

My post wasn't very nice, but you said you wanted specifics.

Your other real problem is that the things you list above as your strengths are things that 99.99% of women would look at as signs to STAY AWAY from you. You start telling girls things on your first or second online dating conversation that shouldn't be told to people until you've been dating for months or years and are deciding to get married. I showed a female co-worker a couple of your posts about a month ago and she said - literally - "that dude sounds f*cking crazy. Stalker alert."

The first think you need to do, imo, is stop dating. And work on fixing yourself.

Stop looking at life like you are a movie character.

Start listening to people who give you great advice.

STOP dating people that you think you need to fix.

And asap - tomorrow - start going to therapy.

If you don't do those things..........you will never find the woman/relationship that you so desperately are seeking. Ever. You'll just move from crazy chick to crazy chick. You'll just keep dating really needy chicks that you think you can fix. I'll tell you something homey - a healthy relationship NEVER involves one person needing to fix the other person. Ever.

Good luck.

And f*ck you for making me take the time to type all that out.

Edited February 16, 2015 by Apollo

[DR DOOM]

I'm laughing so hard there are tears and my face hurts

[Apollo]

I'm taking my Tinder date on a gym date this week

Make sure you tell her that you just want somebody that you can give all your love to, and that you have lots of love to give, talk a lot about your crazy ex girlfriends, and tell her you want to dance with her on Christmas eve while drinking hot cocoa and watching James Stewart on TV, and that you want to watch her via Skype for 7-hours as she works on her latest painting.

I'm laughing so hard there are tears and my face hurts

I'm an idiot for responding and getting sucked in - I know.

Some people are just so full of sh*t that I can' thelp myself from responding.....or from trying to help them!

[Lithium]

So I worked harder and ended up being an editor at several different newspapers and having a book published. Not an e-book or a self-published book on Amazon. But a book that was published and sold to the public.

[DR DOOM]

Golden.

It's a shame he won't heed any of it.

I don't think you're nasty either Miser, just creepy.

Like, I let you stay at my house and I wake up with you wearing a diaper, hovering over the bed staring at me and the missus creepy.

Edited February 16, 2015 by DR DOOM

[Apollo]

So I worked harder and ended up being an editor at several different newspapers and having a book published. Not an e-book or a self-published book on Amazon. But a book that was published and sold to the public.

That guy even looks like me. He also appears to have really big hands and long fingers.......you know what they say about that.

********

But I just mentioned the book part because so many people nowadays brag about publishing a book, when in fact they just self-published it on Amazon or as an E-book.

My book wasn't anything special, just a history book about a local event. And it probably only sold 1,500-2,000 copies total. But it was - at least - a real book and not a case where I personally forked over a few hundred bucks to put something on Amazon and then claimed to be a published writer. I suppose in your world it would be similar to a guy bragging that he won a weightlifting competition and was the overall champion........and it turned out his competition was just him and his two brothers and they had a lift-off in their garage. Sure, he might have won - but is he really a champion? As a writer it is just one of those things that is a bit annoying.

[AxlisOld]

Wow.

[arnold layne]

Valentine's Day was pretty sweet.

[ZoSoRose]

I want to be slow dancing on a Christmas night to this song.

That is the yearning of a 13-year-old girl or somebody who lives their lives through fantasies of movies and TV shows. True love isn't a 3-minute dance on Christmas night, by the way. You should be yearning for something much mores substantial than that.

With a woman who'll always be there.

Duh. That's what everybody wants. Nobody in the world says "I want a spouse who won't be there for me."

Who won't play mind games

You can tell that on the first date. Cut and run at that point. You can tell that within 1-2 online conversations. You keep dating really crazy and needy people, and then wonder why they play mind games?

or have ex baggage.

Then don't date people who have had bad relationships. You say that, but yet you were still obsessed with your last girl. Even going so far as to wanting to meet - and be nice - to her ex. You seek out crazy women for a reason. Everybody has ex-baggage. It's just that some people are mature and intelligent enough to "get over it" and somebody stay focused on their ex's forever, or just use the "ex" thing as an excuse to lure in dudes like you.

Who'll just love me for me

That's what everybody wants.

and I'll give her all the love I have in me.

You don't think that sounds creepy? If a girl I was dating told me that she wanted to give me "all the love I have in me" I'd be out the f*cking door in a matter of minutes. This is a great example of what is so creepy about the way you act on here. This is a statement you make to somebody that you are deciding to marry or make a lifetime commitment to. These words shouldn't be spoken to each other in the first year of dating. And your idea of "all the love I have in me" is different than most people's. Watching somebody paint on Skype for 7 hours or staying with somebody who tells you they love somebody else - that isn't you showing/sharing all your love. Giving all your love doesn't mean "fixing" or proving something to somebody.

But I have a lot of love in me, and I just wish I could have the chance to give it to someone who'd appreciate it.

Again, you just described EVERY person in the history of the world. But the difference is you don't hear normal people speaking those words. Do you see Lithium on here talking about "all" the love he has to give? Again, these are things that 13 year old teenage girls say.

With Erica, I gave her everything. I'd sit for hours watching her paint on Skype...Seven hours straight sometimes...Just to show her I believed in her talent because at the time she didn't.

You didn't give her "everything" - you didn't giver her the things a normal, sane, intelligent man would give her.

If you can't see how CREEPY this is, then I'm not sure you actually know what the word creepy means. If a girl wanted to watch me paint (or write, or do anything) on Skype for 7-hours straight I'd be out of that relationship before our Skype session was over. What you did wasn't "love" Miser, it was what an obsessive stalker does. Doing crazy sh*t doesn't show somebody how much you love them, it just feeds into BOTH of your mental issues. What's next? You want her to point her camera towards her while she is sleeping so you can make sure nothing happens to her during the night? You aren't talking about love here, you are trying to "fix" somebody. That's not what happens in a healthy relationship.

She was in an art class and the professor basically shattered her confidence

Boofrigginhoo. Are you kidding me? I had a college professor tell me I was a terrible writer. So I worked harder and ended up being an editor at several different newspapers and having a book published. Not an e-book or a self-published book on Amazon. But a book that was published and sold to the public. If a college professor had that much of a negative influence where she still hadn't gotten over it, then she needs to start going to professional therapy ASAP. This girl needs help/therapy - but not from YOU or a boyfriend.

and I'd sit and watch her to show her I believed in her, with the selfless hope that she'd perhaps gain back her faith in herself.

Again. Creepy as hell. You sound like you are writing a romance novel. Maybe the girl didn't NEED you to fix her? Maybe your obsessive need to fix her and show her how much and deep your love is is the reason she dumped you for an ex? I would be money that every girl you've ever dated as described you as OVER-BEARING-AS-F*CK.

I sat up with her night after night promising her I'd never leave her when she'd say she was garbage, not worth it and when she begged me to swear I'd never leave.

Again, this entire sentence just screams "I need therapy." There is nothing at all healthy about either person in this conversation. How can you tell a girlfriend that you would never leave her? About 95% of all dating situations end up with a break-up. You were just feeding into her insecurities. She needed TOUGH love, not what you gave her.

And even when she told me she loved Patrick, I still didn't leave, because, Miser though I am, I didn't want to hurt her feelings and break all the promises I'd made and validate all her insecurities that she'd had which I'd helped her to overcome.

And again - you are just completely playing into her mental illness. You think you are doing something special here, but you are actually just feeding into her insecurities and letting her USE you. Don't you have any dignity? Let me ask you this. How can any woman ever give herself to you and trust that you are a stable, confident intelligent guy.....when you are willing to stay with a woman like the ex you just described? If a woman says she loves another man, you need to LEAVE the relationship. The fact you stayed with her is just, well, just creepy. Be a man, a boyfriend - and stop trying to be their bff.

I was willing to stay with her when she gave me the option, knowing she loved another man, because I couldn't give up on her and show her she was right in hating herself as she had had for so long.

Creepy. You somehow equate "your love and dedication" to her as what she needs to FIX herself?????? Think about that. Are you God? Your love is so strong that it can cure crazy? If I was dating a girl and realized I was in love with somebody else, and I told the current girl that.....and she said "I don't care, I'm staying with you. My love will help you become more confident." I'd kick her out the door so fast her head would spin. I don't care if she looked like Kate Upton - she'd be GONE minutes after uttering that phrase.

So...knowing if I stayed that her heart would be torn in two, between he and I, for perhaps months on end, knowing that long term, being with me while loving him would fuck with her head and make her feel horrible...I made the decision easier for her. I got drunk and called her names, the exact thing she asked me not to ever do...Which made her decision making easier and spared her the guilt and pain she might otherwise have had in the long run. I took the blow and took the fall and pushed her away rather than hurt her more by having her stay.

Holy Sh*t. One of the creepiest things I've ever read. Or you could have just said "Babe, you need to go figure out exactly what you want. You need to go fix yourself and become a happy person BEFORE you can be in a loving relationship. If you think you love Patrick, then go spend some time with him and see what happens. But I'm out of here. Good luck, I'll always be your friend, I hope you can find what you need to be happy." That's is what a NORMAL PERSON does in your situation. You are admitting that you MANIPULATED her with your actions. Taking the blow and sparing her feelings by calling her names, etc, etc, etc. You guys are two young people dating, dude. This wasn't a 20 year old marriage. Nobody does what you say that you did. No sane person.

That's who I am at depth and who I want to be...I want to give all of myself to someone else.

Great. Wait until you've been dating somebody a couple years and you decide to get married. Otherwise......you just scream of desperation. Every time you post one of these huge weird rants, NOBODY on this forum ever agrees with you. Not the men, not the women. Nobody ever says "Ya Miser, that makes perfect sense. You are right." Everybody always says that you sound overbearing and crazy. Everybody always says you end up dating crazy people - on purpose. And everybody says t hat you need to STOP dating and figure yourself out. But you completely ignore all that. Remember a couple months ago YOU said you were going to STOP dating and take some time to figure yourself out, find some inner peace, etc. Everybody said "that's exactly what you need to do." LESS THAN 24 HOURS after you posted that, you came back on here and said that just sent out like 30 letters to different women on an online dating site.

I know a lot of you dislike me...Quite rightfully so in many cases...But Miser isn't all there is to who I am.

Again, creepy. Do you see Dazey saying things about "Dazey isn't all there is to who I am." Do you see Lenny saying that? You see yourself as this "character" and nobody in the real world thinks like that.

Creepy is the most overused word in 21st century lingo? I didn't know that. I rarely hear people using it. Maybe you hear it more than the rest of us for a reason?

Creepy describes anything we don't like? No. Maybe that's your definition, but not most people's. I don't like smoking - but I don't call people who smoke creepy.

And internet persona.........again, who in real life says crap like that or thinks of themselves like that? Do you think Bono or Mags or ARQ goes around and talks about their screen names in third person? It's just weird.

People don't think you are a nasty prick. They think you are crazy and obsessive and that you are NEVER going to be happy in a relationship or have a healthy relationship with somebody UNTIL you work on fixing yourself. People get tired of giving you advice on here that you NEVER take. As long as you continue the way you are, without your obsessive/stalkerish crazy talk about how much love you have to give, you will NEVER meet and have a relationship with a normal girl. You will continue to hook-up with crazy unstable girls. And if you do meet a nice, respectful, normal type girl - she will dump you in a matter of days. Because you will scare her off with your desperation and obsessive need to make everything about yourself.

My post wasn't very nice, but you said you wanted specifics.

Your other real problem is that the things you list above as your strengths are things that 99.99% of women would look at as signs to STAY AWAY from you. You start telling girls things on your first or second online dating conversation that shouldn't be told to people until you've been dating for months or years and are deciding to get married. I showed a female co-worker a couple of your posts about a month ago and she said - literally - "that dude sounds f*cking crazy. Stalker alert."

The first think you need to do, imo, is stop dating. And work on fixing yourself.

Stop looking at life like you are a movie character.

Start listening to people who give you great advice.

STOP dating people that you think you need to fix.

And asap - tomorrow - start going to therapy.

If you don't do those things..........you will never find the woman/relationship that you so desperately are seeking. Ever. You'll just move from crazy chick to crazy chick. You'll just keep dating really needy chicks that you think you can fix. I'll tell you something homey - a healthy relationship NEVER involves one person needing to fix the other person. Ever.

Good luck.

And f*ck you for making me take the time to type all that out.

Holy fuckkkk. Holy holy fuck fuck fuckasaurus rex that was amazing

Miser, dude, I like talking music with you and stuff. I appreciate you sending me tracks and shit too, and for what its worth, I like the forum more with you on it than without. I think you are an alright dude that just has some pretty bad issues you need to sort out. Grog's post wasn't nice or sugar coated, but everything he said was spot on in a way. The advice everyone (including me) has given you is pretty damn accurate and it will really help if you just listen! Don't tell us you get it, or you will listen, just do it =)

This may sound dumb, but its kind of... infuriating when you go on these huge rants about things like this. I got out of a 4 year long relationship with my best friend, someone I thought I was honestly going to marry and it ended in a terrible way. You were with Erica for what? 6 months? I don't want to say my relationship was more important than yours, but the point is I allowed myself a few months to be sad, then I told myself "whelp, moping about sure is a drag but I needed that, time to get on up!". Attitude is literally all of the battle. The more you wonder "why? how? what happened? she did what? what is she doing? blah blah blah" the more you are held back. You know the truth? NONE of the answers to those questions matter.

Its pretty clear you have a lot of work to do on your own and you NEED to be completely alone. You cannot be in a relationship unless you are capable of being happy alone and independent. Its clear you are not capable of that right now. Believe it or not, being alone can be a wonderful thing and can completely help/change you.

I hope you listen to Apollo's post, it may have sounded mean, but it was all spot on!

Edited February 16, 2015 by ZoSoRose

[Axls Rocket Queen]

Okay I'm calling post of the year already

In all seriousness, that was pretty spot on.

[Lithium]

That guy even looks like me. He also appears to have really big hands and long fingers.......you know what they say about that.

********

But I just mentioned the book part because so many people nowadays brag about publishing a book, when in fact they just self-published it on Amazon or as an E-book.

My book wasn't anything special, just a history book about a local event. And it probably only sold 1,500-2,000 copies total. But it was - at least - a real book and not a case where I personally forked over a few hundred bucks to put something on Amazon and then claimed to be a published writer. I suppose in your world it would be similar to a guy bragging that he won a weightlifting competition and was the overall champion........and it turned out his competition was just him and his two brothers and they had a lift-off in their garage. Sure, he might have won - but is he really a champion? As a writer it is just one of those things that is a bit annoying.

I know, I was just fucking with you.

Edited February 16, 2015 by Lithium

[Dr. Who]

I want to be slow dancing on a Christmas night to this song.

That is the yearning of a 13-year-old girl or somebody who lives their lives through fantasies of movies and TV shows. True love isn't a 3-minute dance on Christmas night, by the way. You should be yearning for something much mores substantial than that.

With a woman who'll always be there.

Duh. That's what everybody wants. Nobody in the world says "I want a spouse who won't be there for me."

Who won't play mind games

You can tell that on the first date. Cut and run at that point. You can tell that within 1-2 online conversations. You keep dating really crazy and needy people, and then wonder why they play mind games?

or have ex baggage.

Then don't date people who have had bad relationships. You say that, but yet you were still obsessed with your last girl. Even going so far as to wanting to meet - and be nice - to her ex. You seek out crazy women for a reason. Everybody has ex-baggage. It's just that some people are mature and intelligent enough to "get over it" and somebody stay focused on their ex's forever, or just use the "ex" thing as an excuse to lure in dudes like you.

Who'll just love me for me

That's what everybody wants.

and I'll give her all the love I have in me.

You don't think that sounds creepy? If a girl I was dating told me that she wanted to give me "all the love I have in me" I'd be out the f*cking door in a matter of minutes. This is a great example of what is so creepy about the way you act on here. This is a statement you make to somebody that you are deciding to marry or make a lifetime commitment to. These words shouldn't be spoken to each other in the first year of dating. And your idea of "all the love I have in me" is different than most people's. Watching somebody paint on Skype for 7 hours or staying with somebody who tells you they love somebody else - that isn't you showing/sharing all your love. Giving all your love doesn't mean "fixing" or proving something to somebody.

But I have a lot of love in me, and I just wish I could have the chance to give it to someone who'd appreciate it.

Again, you just described EVERY person in the history of the world. But the difference is you don't hear normal people speaking those words. Do you see Lithium on here talking about "all" the love he has to give? Again, these are things that 13 year old teenage girls say.

With Erica, I gave her everything. I'd sit for hours watching her paint on Skype...Seven hours straight sometimes...Just to show her I believed in her talent because at the time she didn't.

You didn't give her "everything" - you didn't giver her the things a normal, sane, intelligent man would give her.

If you can't see how CREEPY this is, then I'm not sure you actually know what the word creepy means. If a girl wanted to watch me paint (or write, or do anything) on Skype for 7-hours straight I'd be out of that relationship before our Skype session was over. What you did wasn't "love" Miser, it was what an obsessive stalker does. Doing crazy sh*t doesn't show somebody how much you love them, it just feeds into BOTH of your mental issues. What's next? You want her to point her camera towards her while she is sleeping so you can make sure nothing happens to her during the night? You aren't talking about love here, you are trying to "fix" somebody. That's not what happens in a healthy relationship.

She was in an art class and the professor basically shattered her confidence

Boofrigginhoo. Are you kidding me? I had a college professor tell me I was a terrible writer. So I worked harder and ended up being an editor at several different newspapers and having a book published. Not an e-book or a self-published book on Amazon. But a book that was published and sold to the public. If a college professor had that much of a negative influence where she still hadn't gotten over it, then she needs to start going to professional therapy ASAP. This girl needs help/therapy - but not from YOU or a boyfriend.

and I'd sit and watch her to show her I believed in her, with the selfless hope that she'd perhaps gain back her faith in herself.

Again. Creepy as hell. You sound like you are writing a romance novel. Maybe the girl didn't NEED you to fix her? Maybe your obsessive need to fix her and show her how much and deep your love is is the reason she dumped you for an ex? I would be money that every girl you've ever dated as described you as OVER-BEARING-AS-F*CK.

I sat up with her night after night promising her I'd never leave her when she'd say she was garbage, not worth it and when she begged me to swear I'd never leave.

Again, this entire sentence just screams "I need therapy." There is nothing at all healthy about either person in this conversation. How can you tell a girlfriend that you would never leave her? About 95% of all dating situations end up with a break-up. You were just feeding into her insecurities. She needed TOUGH love, not what you gave her.

And even when she told me she loved Patrick, I still didn't leave, because, Miser though I am, I didn't want to hurt her feelings and break all the promises I'd made and validate all her insecurities that she'd had which I'd helped her to overcome.

And again - you are just completely playing into her mental illness. You think you are doing something special here, but you are actually just feeding into her insecurities and letting her USE you. Don't you have any dignity? Let me ask you this. How can any woman ever give herself to you and trust that you are a stable, confident intelligent guy.....when you are willing to stay with a woman like the ex you just described? If a woman says she loves another man, you need to LEAVE the relationship. The fact you stayed with her is just, well, just creepy. Be a man, a boyfriend - and stop trying to be their bff.

I was willing to stay with her when she gave me the option, knowing she loved another man, because I couldn't give up on her and show her she was right in hating herself as she had had for so long.

Creepy. You somehow equate "your love and dedication" to her as what she needs to FIX herself?????? Think about that. Are you God? Your love is so strong that it can cure crazy? If I was dating a girl and realized I was in love with somebody else, and I told the current girl that.....and she said "I don't care, I'm staying with you. My love will help you become more confident." I'd kick her out the door so fast her head would spin. I don't care if she looked like Kate Upton - she'd be GONE minutes after uttering that phrase.

So...knowing if I stayed that her heart would be torn in two, between he and I, for perhaps months on end, knowing that long term, being with me while loving him would fuck with her head and make her feel horrible...I made the decision easier for her. I got drunk and called her names, the exact thing she asked me not to ever do...Which made her decision making easier and spared her the guilt and pain she might otherwise have had in the long run. I took the blow and took the fall and pushed her away rather than hurt her more by having her stay.

Holy Sh*t. One of the creepiest things I've ever read. Or you could have just said "Babe, you need to go figure out exactly what you want. You need to go fix yourself and become a happy person BEFORE you can be in a loving relationship. If you think you love Patrick, then go spend some time with him and see what happens. But I'm out of here. Good luck, I'll always be your friend, I hope you can find what you need to be happy." That's is what a NORMAL PERSON does in your situation. You are admitting that you MANIPULATED her with your actions. Taking the blow and sparing her feelings by calling her names, etc, etc, etc. You guys are two young people dating, dude. This wasn't a 20 year old marriage. Nobody does what you say that you did. No sane person.

That's who I am at depth and who I want to be...I want to give all of myself to someone else.

Great. Wait until you've been dating somebody a couple years and you decide to get married. Otherwise......you just scream of desperation. Every time you post one of these huge weird rants, NOBODY on this forum ever agrees with you. Not the men, not the women. Nobody ever says "Ya Miser, that makes perfect sense. You are right." Everybody always says that you sound overbearing and crazy. Everybody always says you end up dating crazy people - on purpose. And everybody says t hat you need to STOP dating and figure yourself out. But you completely ignore all that. Remember a couple months ago YOU said you were going to STOP dating and take some time to figure yourself out, find some inner peace, etc. Everybody said "that's exactly what you need to do." LESS THAN 24 HOURS after you posted that, you came back on here and said that just sent out like 30 letters to different women on an online dating site.

I know a lot of you dislike me...Quite rightfully so in many cases...But Miser isn't all there is to who I am.

Again, creepy. Do you see Dazey saying things about "Dazey isn't all there is to who I am." Do you see Lenny saying that? You see yourself as this "character" and nobody in the real world thinks like that.

Creepy is the most overused word in 21st century lingo? I didn't know that. I rarely hear people using it. Maybe you hear it more than the rest of us for a reason?

Creepy describes anything we don't like? No. Maybe that's your definition, but not most people's. I don't like smoking - but I don't call people who smoke creepy.

And internet persona.........again, who in real life says crap like that or thinks of themselves like that? Do you think Bono or Mags or ARQ goes around and talks about their screen names in third person? It's just weird.

People don't think you are a nasty prick. They think you are crazy and obsessive and that you are NEVER going to be happy in a relationship or have a healthy relationship with somebody UNTIL you work on fixing yourself. People get tired of giving you advice on here that you NEVER take. As long as you continue the way you are, without your obsessive/stalkerish crazy talk about how much love you have to give, you will NEVER meet and have a relationship with a normal girl. You will continue to hook-up with crazy unstable girls. And if you do meet a nice, respectful, normal type girl - she will dump you in a matter of days. Because you will scare her off with your desperation and obsessive need to make everything about yourself.

My post wasn't very nice, but you said you wanted specifics.

Your other real problem is that the things you list above as your strengths are things that 99.99% of women would look at as signs to STAY AWAY from you. You start telling girls things on your first or second online dating conversation that shouldn't be told to people until you've been dating for months or years and are deciding to get married. I showed a female co-worker a couple of your posts about a month ago and she said - literally - "that dude sounds f*cking crazy. Stalker alert."

The first think you need to do, imo, is stop dating. And work on fixing yourself.

Stop looking at life like you are a movie character.

Start listening to people who give you great advice.

STOP dating people that you think you need to fix.

And asap - tomorrow - start going to therapy.

If you don't do those things..........you will never find the woman/relationship that you so desperately are seeking. Ever. You'll just move from crazy chick to crazy chick. You'll just keep dating really needy chicks that you think you can fix. I'll tell you something homey - a healthy relationship NEVER involves one person needing to fix the other person. Ever.

Good luck.

And f*ck you for making me take the time to type all that out.

Holy fuckkkk. Holy holy fuck fuck fuckasaurus rex that was amazing

Miser, dude, I like talking music with you and stuff. I appreciate you sending me tracks and shit too, and for what its worth, I like the forum more with you on it than without. I think you are an alright dude that just has some pretty bad issues you need to sort out. Grog's post wasn't nice or sugar coated, but everything he said was spot on in a way. The advice everyone (including me) has given you is pretty damn accurate and it will really help if you just listen! Don't tell us you get it, or you will listen, just do it =)

This may sound dumb, but its kind of... infuriating when you go on these huge rants about things like this. I got out of a 4 year long relationship with my best friend, someone I thought I was honestly going to marry and it ended in a terrible way. You were with Erica for what? 6 months? I don't want to say my relationship was more important than yours, but the point is I allowed myself a few months to be sad, then I told myself "whelp, moping about sure is a drag but I needed that, time to get on up!". Attitude is literally all of the battle. The more you wonder "why? how? what happened? she did what? what is she doing? blah blah blah" the more you are held back. You know the truth? NONE of the answers to those questions matter.

Its pretty clear you have a lot of work to do on your own and you NEED to be completely alone. You cannot be in a relationship unless you are capable of being happy alone and independent. Its clear you are not capable of that right now. Believe it or not, being alone can be a wonderful thing and can completely help/change you.

I hope you listen to Apollo's post, it may have sounded mean, but it was all spot on!

I'm 24. It's far too late for me to change any of these things. So, I'll take what I can get and hopefully find it within me to commit suicide at some point like I probably should. If I was 18 or 19 there'd still be time to fix things. I blew that chance at life and having a decent life and a normal relationship a long time ago.

[arnold layne]

Realistically 24 is still fairly young but you are at that age where I think your mindset becomes pretty stationary for the remainder of your life, or so I have been told.

You and I Miser are both unhappy shitheads. Keep patting ourselves on the back and hoping for change, but just remember that without some goddam miracle, you and I both will be unhappy forever.

I'll have a drink for you tonight.

[Dr. Who]

And to be fair to me, I haven't exactly had the best examples in terms of love and romantic relationships.

My parents got married on a whim after like 5 months of dating and probably should never have been together.

My one sister got pregnant to trap her (now ex) husband out of desperation to get out of the life she was living and they were married within 2 and a half months of meeting. They lasted 16 years.

My other sister moved out with her (now husband) after 2 months of dating him because she couldn't stand being in our house anymore. He's a nice enough guy, but controlling and possessive and insecure. Bitches if she tries to lose weight because he claims she'll go "fuck other guys"

Other sister is 35, unmarried and lets herself fall into toxic relationships with men who are 10-15 years older than she is, and wants to trap a guy into staying by getting pregnant.

My nephew who is my age has had two abortions and is verbally and emotionally abusive to his girlfriends if not also physically abusive.

Other nephew I don't know his romantic life, he's gone to Florida to get away from the family.

Niece keeps her dating life secret

Other niece is dating a thug who talks lyek dis boi and is promiscuous, she was kicked out of school for being so and put in a special class for emotionally disturbed kids because she'd fucked 5 guys in a month's span or some such thing from what I understand

Their mother, my sister, kicked her husband of 15 years out, who is actually a decent guy, only to hook up with a former flame who is a recovering heroin addict in and out of a halfway house. He comes by on the weekends to fuck her and she sends all of her kids out of the house and then goes home to the halfway house. Her first husband was a crack addict and car thief.

[Dazey]

Things will never change if you never make an effort to change them.

And to be fair to me, I haven't exactly had the best examples in terms of love and romantic relationships.

My parents got married on a whim after like 5 months of dating and probably should never have been together.

My one sister got pregnant to trap her (now ex) husband out of desperation to get out of the life she was living and they were married within 2 and a half months of meeting. They lasted 16 years.

My other sister moved out with her (now husband) after 2 months of dating him because she couldn't stand being in our house anymore. He's a nice enough guy, but controlling and possessive and insecure. Bitches if she tries to lose weight because he claims she'll go "fuck other guys"

Other sister is 35, unmarried and lets herself fall into toxic relationships with men who are 10-15 years older than she is, and wants to trap a guy into staying by getting pregnant.

My nephew who is my age has had two abortions and is verbally and emotionally abusive to his girlfriends if not also physically abusive.

Other nephew I don't know his romantic life, he's gone to Florida to get away from the family.

Niece keeps her dating life secret

Other niece is dating a thug who talks lyek dis boi and is promiscuous, she was kicked out of school for being so and put in a special class for emotionally disturbed kids because she'd fucked 5 guys in a month's span or some such thing from what I understand

Their mother, my sister, kicked her husband of 15 years out, who is actually a decent guy, only to hook up with a former flame who is a recovering heroin addict in and out of a halfway house. He comes by on the weekends to fuck her and she sends all of her kids out of the house and then goes home to the halfway house. Her first husband was a crack addict and car thief.

None of that is stopping you from being different if you can be bothered to make the effort. Edited February 16, 2015 by Dazey

[SoulMonster]

The TV rights to your family should be worth quite a while, Mr. Miser. Is the market saturated for dysfunctional Italian immigrants?

[Dazey]

The TV rights to your family should be worth quite a while, Mr. Miser. Is the market saturated for dysfunctional Italian immigrants?

Or as they're more commonly known, "Italian immigrants".