Len Cnut Posted December 21, 2019 Share Posted December 21, 2019 17 minutes ago, Dazey said: Of course there was a reason. It was fucking funny! My brother used to punch me in the stomach while I was sleeping as a kid, I think I’ve said this before, just walk up, thump me in the stomach winding me to fuck and just walking off, to this day its one of the most painful experiences of my life, being woken up by being winded, the first few times I didn’t even know what caused it, thought I was dying or something I can’t imagine what a kick in the bollocks version would feel like Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dazey Posted December 21, 2019 Share Posted December 21, 2019 (edited) 6 minutes ago, Len Cnut said: My brother used to punch me in the stomach while I was sleeping as a kid, I think I’ve said this before, just walk up, thump me in the stomach winding me to fuck and just walking off, to this day its one of the most painful experiences of my life, being woken up by being winded, the first few times I didn’t even know what caused it, thought I was dying or something I can’t imagine what a kick in the bollocks version would feel like To be honest it was more of a stamp. Y'know, given that we were only about 8 or 9 it was difficult to get the angle of attack right otherwise. Edited December 21, 2019 by Dazey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Powderfinger Posted December 22, 2019 Share Posted December 22, 2019 That drugs were a bad thing.. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dontdamnmeuyi2015 Posted December 22, 2019 Share Posted December 22, 2019 I believed in Santa, The Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy. I was very bummed when I found out that none of them are real. My mom's grandfather told her this story once when he lived in Sicily. Okay, he was drinking at his friend's house and said he was walking home and heard a noise behind him. He said he turned and saw what looked like a wolf man. He ran all the way home and made it. The next morning he thought he had dreamt it until he saw claw marks on the front door. He never said anything else about it, so at the time my mom believed it. He never said it was something he made up, so who knows? lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spunko12345 Posted December 22, 2019 Share Posted December 22, 2019 On 21/12/2019 at 3:00 PM, Len Cnut said: My brother used to punch me in the stomach while I was sleeping as a kid, I think I’ve said this before, just walk up, thump me in the stomach winding me to fuck and just walking off, to this day its one of the most painful experiences of my life, being woken up by being winded, the first few times I didn’t even know what caused it, thought I was dying or something I can’t imagine what a kick in the bollocks version would feel like Very similar to my brother. We had to share a bedroom when we were kids for a few years and had a bunk bed. I was on the bottom bunk and every night about 9 ish as I was falling to sleep he's shout "Bedtime Punishment!" and he'd hold on to the top bunk dangling his legs into where i was sleeping and just kick the fuck out of me. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gracii Guns Posted December 22, 2019 Share Posted December 22, 2019 So you know the Teddy Bears' Picnic nursery rhyme? I would always cry at the end because I thought that the teddy bears had died. (They don't die, they just go to sleep). The real kicker is that I'd ask my mum to sing me the song and make myself cry in preparation for it. She was really miffed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spunko12345 Posted December 22, 2019 Share Posted December 22, 2019 27 minutes ago, Gracii Guns said: So you know the Teddy Bears' Picnic nursery rhyme? I would always cry at the end because I thought that the teddy bears had died. (They don't die, they just go to sleep). The real kicker is that I'd ask my mum to sing me the song and make myself cry in preparation for it. She was really miffed. If you go down to the woods today you'd better believe your eyes, if you go down to the woods today you'd better not be surprised ,cos today's the day the teddy bears have their piiiic- Nic. Its creepy. I love all the English folky traditions. Cornwall is fucking rife with that stuff. Sea shantys about smugglers and pirates I bloody love it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RussTCB Posted December 22, 2019 Share Posted December 22, 2019 On 12/20/2019 at 6:53 PM, Dazey said: I used to think that TV shows waited for me to get home before they started. I was devastated one night when I went to the shop with my Grandma and when we got back I'd missed The Fall Guy. Lee Majors waits for no man! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Graeme Posted December 22, 2019 Share Posted December 22, 2019 41 minutes ago, lukepowell1988 said: That one where the bird pecks off somes nose at the end is pretty harrowing. My son loves it. "The maid was in the garden, hanging out her clothes, when down came a blackbird and pecked off her nose..." A Song of Sixpence, right? So... when I was in Primary school, we had some reading books and one of them was "back to front rhymes" that took nursery rhymes and swapped the words about. One of them was A Song of Sixpence and the last line was changed to "The maid was in the garden hanging out her nose when down came a blackbird and pecked off her clothes". Age 6 me wrote about this in a jotter and saw fit to accompany it with a graphically detailed drawing of a naked woman running away from a gigantic bird. Fuck knows what my poor teacher thought of it but she just gave it a tick. My parents have kept the jotter to this day, they think it's hilarious. My Dad has laughed himself to tears multiple times whenever it resurfaces from the drawer in which it lurks. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dazey Posted December 22, 2019 Share Posted December 22, 2019 1 hour ago, RussTCB said: Lee Majors waits for no man! That show has the best opening credits hands down. Best song EVER! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
janrichmond Posted December 23, 2019 Share Posted December 23, 2019 1 hour ago, RussTCB said: Lee Majors waits for no man! Is he still alive? 20 minutes ago, Dazey said: That show has the best opening credits hands down. Best song EVER! I don't remember the song, wasn't it a country style? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dazey Posted December 23, 2019 Share Posted December 23, 2019 25 minutes ago, janrichmond said: Is he still alive? I don't remember the song, wasn't it a country style? Not sure if I can post it but it was amazing! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lame ass security Posted December 23, 2019 Share Posted December 23, 2019 (edited) 50 minutes ago, janrichmond said: Is he still alive? I don't remember the song, wasn't it a country style? He is indeed alive and you're right, it was a country tinged song. I remember "the life of a Hollywood stuntman, stuntman. "😄 I think that's how it went, I didn't want to cheat and check it on YouTube. Edit: ok, I did check it on YouTube and I was confusing the Fall Guy theme song with the Hooper theme song. But they're both country songs. Edited December 23, 2019 by lame ass security 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueJean Baby Posted December 23, 2019 Share Posted December 23, 2019 When my son was little, if he wanted something at the store and I didn't have enough money to get it for him at that time, I'd say I just don't have the money now, he would reply, "well buy some" 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Len Cnut Posted December 23, 2019 Share Posted December 23, 2019 (edited) 35 minutes ago, lukepowell1988 said: Not myself but me Mum says when she was a kid she was in Sainsburys with my Nan and there was a black bloke in there. Mum pointed to him and said " Mummy why does that man look like my gollywog" Apparently my Nan kicked fuck out of her for that lol! A fella I know had a similar thing. In his defence he was like 1 or something and grew up in a predominately white working class envoirnment (you've probably heard of South Oxhey, no?). Anyway, as a child, like infant, he was pretrified of black people. Burst out into tears whenever he saw one Edited December 23, 2019 by Len Cnut Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueJean Baby Posted December 23, 2019 Share Posted December 23, 2019 (edited) Standing in line at the grocery store, there was a black man behind us in line, my son yells out "Why are you staring at me black man!" The man did not say a damn word, I was wanting to go hide. On another note, why are little kids so scared of the store Santa Claus? I know I was when I was a kid and so was my son. Parents stand in line for hours to get the kids pics taken with Santa only to have the kids burst into tears and start screaming with fear. Edited December 23, 2019 by BlueJean Baby Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Len Cnut Posted December 23, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted December 23, 2019 (edited) 6 minutes ago, BlueJean Baby said: On another note, why are little kids so scared of the store Santa Claus? Because they can sense the fact that he is an umemployed-51-weeks-of-the-year alcoholic pedophile Edited December 23, 2019 by Len Cnut 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dazey Posted December 23, 2019 Share Posted December 23, 2019 (edited) 2 hours ago, lukepowell1988 said: Not myself but me Mum says when she was a kid she was in Sainsburys with my Nan and there was a black bloke in there. Mum pointed to him and said " Mummy why does that man look like my gollywog" Apparently my Nan kicked fuck out of her for that lol! Whereas my gran was in London with my grandad, my mother and my uncle as kids. This was the late 50’s and the conductor on the bus was a black guy. Dearest Granny exclaimed loudly “that’s not right that. Bloody n1ggers over here taking all the white men’s jobs.” Edited December 23, 2019 by Dazey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EvanG Posted December 23, 2019 Share Posted December 23, 2019 That most people are good-hearted. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Len Cnut Posted December 23, 2019 Share Posted December 23, 2019 (edited) 1 hour ago, Dazey said: Whereas my gran was in London with my grandad, my mother and my uncle as kids. This was the late 50’s and the conductor on the bus was a black guy. Dearest Granny exclaimed loudly “that’s not right that. Bloody n1ggers over here taking all the white men’s jobs.” Dies' was doing that shit in the 90s on his way to a Stones gig If we're ever in the same place and your Grans nearby lets go knock for her, you can ride in on my back and go 'look Gran, I bought one!' Edited December 23, 2019 by Len Cnut 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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