Dazey Posted January 28, 2015 Share Posted January 28, 2015 People who can't handle being single annoy the fuck out of me. I don't know if it's because I've spent most of my life totally on my own, but when someone comes out of a long term relationship, moans about it like it's the apocalypse for a couple of weeks and then is miraculously wrapped up in another relationship, my instinctive emotional response is generally not a positive one.It's like "Where the fuck do you FIND these people? I can't even find ONE person willing to give me a shot..."Don't worry fella. The people who crave being in relationships tend to have shitty relationships. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lio Posted January 28, 2015 Share Posted January 28, 2015 People who can't handle being single annoy the fuck out of me. I don't know if it's because I've spent most of my life totally on my own, but when someone comes out of a long term relationship, moans about it like it's the apocalypse for a couple of weeks and then is miraculously wrapped up in another relationship, my instinctive emotional response is generally not a positive one.It's like "Where the fuck do you FIND these people? I can't even find ONE person willing to give me a shot..."Some people just can't be on their own I've never understood people coming out of long relationship, seemingly devastated, and almost instantly having someone else. I just take longer to heal. It's happened twice to me and twice it's taken a year before I had someone new. It just took that long to be ready for a fresh start. Some people try to heal by replacing their bf/gf immediately, others have to be on their own for a while.That being said, there were times I was pretty desperate and I had the exact same feeling as you have: where do they find all these people? You'll be alright, Graeme. Some people are just not cut out for flings. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZoSoRose Posted January 28, 2015 Share Posted January 28, 2015 You simply can't move on to someone that quick after a long relationship. There's no way that is healthy, but it means you are too insecure to try to be on your own for a while. Kind of sucks, because once you get over those first few weeks/months, the fear really fades and you realize time to "work on you" isn't necessarily some stupid cliché.My life has completely changed as opposed to "wasting" all my time with one girl and being lazy about life, I now--Am in a band and we have our first show this weekend-Have been pursuing my passions (music) and trying new hobbies (cooking, art, exercise)-Seeing whoever I want and enjoying friendships (I am really close to that one old friend I had. My old gf would have never allowed that)-Working a full time job that will really help my future-Not compromising on anything and even making all the purchases I want (this one is petty, but its nice! I have a new guitar, amp, headphones, laptop, music equipment, etc that has motivated me to get better)-Actively planning the next stage in my life where I hope to move out of stateIs my life going to be like this forever? No! I'll eventually meet somebody else when my life is more "stable", and for now, why shouldn't I enjoy where my life is in the now? My old gal turned out to be a bit of a cunt , so why dwell on that? I have a lot going for me now, and it can be argued that I have more going on for me than I ever had. These are all great tools at my disposal to build my independence and I am learning that the best person to really count on is yourself. Only after I gain all my independence and learn to be 100% happy on my own will I be ready for the committed relationship I had in the past. Hell, that was a lot of work! So I need to work on things to make sure my next one is even better. Am I still sad sometimes? Mad? Hurt? All that fun stuff? You betcha, but it isn't really all that bad, at all. Reminds me I'm human.Ah well, that was all cheesy but it was nice to type out. I've come a long way from even a few months ago. Thanks everyone on here (especially Len) who helped me. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arnold layne Posted January 28, 2015 Share Posted January 28, 2015 I told a girl back home that I'm sleeping with a girl in Oklahoma and she tells me that it's okay and she's happy I'm happy and she wants to travel seven hundred miles to visit. I'm not sure what to think about this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Graeme Posted January 28, 2015 Share Posted January 28, 2015 I told a girl back home that I'm sleeping with a girl in Oklahoma and she tells me that it's okay and she's happy I'm happy and she wants to travel seven hundred miles to visit. I'm not sure what to think about this.From forum loser to deciding between multiple girls who want to fight over land and see to get to you? All from fucking a hoor? Man. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arnold layne Posted January 28, 2015 Share Posted January 28, 2015 It's kind of hard to believe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Sandman Posted January 28, 2015 Share Posted January 28, 2015 (edited) Buses mate. You know the analogy!Everyone's rooting for you.Graeme - bud, it'll come. And it'll be perfect. Edited January 28, 2015 by The Sandman Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OmarBradley Posted January 28, 2015 Share Posted January 28, 2015 I told a girl back home that I'm sleeping with a girl in Oklahoma and she tells me that it's okay and she's happy I'm happy and she wants to travel seven hundred miles to visit. I'm not sure what to think about this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lithium Posted January 28, 2015 Author Share Posted January 28, 2015 Graeme - bud, it'll come. And it'll be perfect.<3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dazey Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 It'll be perfect.It won't but it doesn't have to be. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Sandman Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 It'll be perfect.It won't but it doesn't have to be. Nah, I've got a good feeling about this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Graeme Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Graeme Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 Lol, jk. I'm fine anyway, you all know how I operate by now, I go through months with no particular attachment to (or interest in) anyone, and am often quite content (well, most of the time). Then I'll meet someone, get proverbially struck by lightning, fall hard, it'll get fucked up spectacularly (either through my lack of confidence/lack of ability to understand how to disguise the insecurity which women find so much more offputting in men than we do in them, or I'll have to move halfway round the globe or some bullshit like that), I'll moan for a bit and then go back to stage one...Also, looking at it, who did wee Eddi Reader's wardrobe in that music video? She was at school with my Dad, so she'd have been in her twenties when it was recorded... They've got her looking like a slightly mad grandmother... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gracii Guns Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 On the topic of people who move on too fast:My parents were childhood sweethearts and were married for 20 years, but had been friends for 10 years prior to that. Mum died and my Dad was going on dates a fortnight after she died. (The last few years they didn't have a great marriage, but whatever). He must have signed up to online dating as soon as he could. Within six months his new girlfriend and her kids had moved into our family home, with absolutely no consideration for the pre-existing recently bereaved children there. Five years on, they split up, it turns out she's a nutter who called the police on him, falsely accusing him of domestic violence and playing other mind games.This is why you shouldn't ever move on too quickly. You'll find a nutter. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lithium Posted January 29, 2015 Author Share Posted January 29, 2015 Lol, jk. I'm fine anyway, you all know how I operate by now, I go through months with no particular attachment to (or interest in) anyone, and am often quite content (well, most of the time). Then I'll meet someone, get proverbially struck by lightning, fall hard, it'll get fucked up spectacularly (either through my lack of confidence/lack of ability to understand how to disguise the insecurity which women find so much more offputting in men than we do in them, or I'll have to move halfway round the globe or some bullshit like that), I'll moan for a bit and then go back to stage one...Also, looking at it, who did wee Eddi Reader's wardrobe in that music video? She was at school with my Dad, so she'd have been in her twenties when it was recorded... They've got her looking like a slightly mad grandmother...Have you ever considered just getting a prostitute? It seems to have opened a lot of doors for Nate. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alfierose Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 On the topic of people who move on too fast:My parents were childhood sweethearts and were married for 20 years, but had been friends for 10 years prior to that. Mum died and my Dad was going on dates a fortnight after she died. (The last few years they didn't have a great marriage, but whatever). He must have signed up to online dating as soon as he could. Within six months his new girlfriend and her kids had moved into our family home, with absolutely no consideration for the pre-existing recently bereaved children there. Five years on, they split up, it turns out she's a nutter who called the police on him, falsely accusing him of domestic violence and playing other mind games.This is why you shouldn't ever move on too quickly. You'll find a nutter.That must have been really difficult Gracii :-( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SR_GR Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 Lol, jk. I'm fine anyway, you all know how I operate by now, I go through months with no particular attachment to (or interest in) anyone, and am often quite content (well, most of the time). Then I'll meet someone, get proverbially struck by lightning, fall hard, it'll get fucked up spectacularly (either through my lack of confidence/lack of ability to understand how to disguise the insecurity which women find so much more offputting in men than we do in them, or I'll have to move halfway round the globe or some bullshit like that), I'll moan for a bit and then go back to stage one...Also, looking at it, who did wee Eddi Reader's wardrobe in that music video? She was at school with my Dad, so she'd have been in her twenties when it was recorded... They've got her looking like a slightly mad grandmother...If I would have to guess who of all the forum people is going to end up in a relationshipwith real love and lasting happiness, it would be you Graeme. You sound like you areintelligent, trustworthy, balanced and nice - a great starting point for any relationship.Sooner or later you’ll meet some nice Scottish lass who makes your knees weak.That can actually happen, it is not only a saying. Keep socializing with people,playing in a band and enjoying life, it will all happen when it is time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dazey Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 Graeme. You sound like you are intelligent, trustworthy, balanced and nice.True on all counts. It's fucking sickening isn't it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MikeHunt Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 I'm still holding out for that one special lady with a heart of gold. Like in Pretty Woman. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Who Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 me too Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Sandman Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 Graeme. You sound like you are intelligent, trustworthy, balanced and nice.True on all counts. It's fucking sickening isn't it? He's amazing - a true gentleman, can't wait to be back in Glasgow! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Len Cnut Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 (edited) Graeme. You sound like you are intelligent, trustworthy, balanced and nice.True on all counts. It's fucking sickening isn't it? I say we frame the bastard, knock him off his high horse I'm still holding out for that one special lady with a heart of gold. Like in Pretty Woman. Holding out what, Mike Hunt? Edited January 30, 2015 by Len B'stard Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris1989 Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 Sorted the Valentine's Day plans in one play, top work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Axls Rocket Queen Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 (edited) This may be a totally foreign concept to most people here, but I could do with venting anyway.My boyfriend and I are coming up against some negativity from people with regards to us moving in together. The majority of people have been supportive, but those who have said negative things have been really vocal about it. All because we're not married. His mum really isn't happy, and brought up things like the fact we broke up briefly 4 years ago we'd only been going out a few months and he at the time was moving home to Northern Ireland for the foreseeable future, so I don't even get how that's relevant. I had an older friend from church take me aside and basically say "as a church we don't agree with what you're doing, but we're here for you" which was a bit weird...and he met up with one of his good friends last night who basically said we're doing the wrong thing, and if we move in together we're going to eventually break up and both of us lose our relationships with God Is it inappropriate to start saying to these people that if they have nothing nice/supportive to say, then I'd just rather they not voice their opinion at all? Edited January 30, 2015 by Axls Rocket Queen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris1989 Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 Thats just unpleasant from them all. I say it's crazy to get married before living together. Hey I find it crazy to not rent before buying together (even though I would still skip that step of the right girl turns up) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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