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Vintage: Doug Goldstein's hilarious letter to Axl ~2009

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Given the recent Goldstein/Niven talk, here's a gem from the archives. :facepalm:

Presumably dated from 2009, delivered in hands to Beta:

Axl,
I implore you to read this. First and foremost, I thank you in advance for taking the time to read this.
  I believe there are MANY misconceptions, false-truths, and resentmrent causing issues that continue to fester in Our relationship. I'd love the opportunity to clear these up.
  The sale of Big FD to Sanctuary......
  Ax, I swear on my kids lives, when I was first propositioned by Merck, I immeadiately called Sharon. She told me to fly to England and meet with Rod Smallwood, Merck, and Andy Taylor. Furthermore, and most importantly, she definitavely "ORDERED" me NOT to tlk to you about it. She wanted me to ascertain the strength of the company, which at the time was magnanimous.
  After my fact finding mission, I flew to Arizona to meet with Sharon and Elliot. They concluded that at this point in your career, you needed a powerhouse company with unlimited power and resources to help guide your career. Again, I was given the missive to "surprise " you with this information, as Sharon felt you would be PROUD that I was willing to give up Big FD to further enhance YOUR career. Ax, check with Elliot..if he denies this, he's flat out lying...I swear on my kids lives.
&nb sp; Merck...where do I start here....He flat out fucked me and was a vicious Cancer that intentionally created decietful lies to muddy the waters of our once inseperable brotherhood. I will accept culpability for the fact that for the first time in my life, I wasn't acting in a resposible manner, as far as my responsibilities in guiding your life's path. For this, I can only eternally apologize. I was SO fucked up in the head at that time. I was suicidal over mising my kids, and didn't know how to sufficiently handle the pain. Oh...the $10k a month that Sanctuary claims THEY were paying Sharon, was MY fucking money. They took HALF of my paycheck every month...and paid Sharon..that was a huge hit for me to take, but I was trying to hold onto yours,and mines relationhip!!!
  To that end, I am BACK!!!...my kids live inNewbury Park. Jake is almost 16..the most charming affable, loving guy. On his own accord he picked up the guitar about 5 years ago. He's amazing!! Eli is 10..and God has blessed me with the sweetest ittle guy in the world. I have found an AMAZING woman, named Bridget. She's loved me for 6 years. She has literally broght me back to life. She's supprtive of all my decisions, we never do anything without the other, and we're getting married in July. We own 2 art galleries in Hawaii, as well as opening a Fred Segal type store next December.
  Axl, I'm watching your career with great frustration. I know that the only reason Irving is working with you is to induce you in the future to do THE GREAT RE-UNION TOUR. Give me a fucking break....I KNOW that is never going to happen, and wish people wouldd just fucking leave you alone on this issue. Andy Gould...C'mon..the guys a buffoon. He's a semi-funtioning alcoholic, who doesn't put YOUR needs in first place.
  Ax, This is hard for me to write. I know you abhor this, but the fact is I LOVE YOU with all my Heart!!..I have watched others try and work with you, and whilst quoting an Eminem song, "They don't know you like I do Man".
Al of the so called industry types, which I have always had disdain for,
Clammoring around incompetently handling your carrer.
  The biggest difference, is that know one is taking the time to properly ascertain your vision, and allow you the support and guidance that you deserve. No one that I'm aware of has the bond and ability to correctly adapt your conceptualizations, and implement YOUR ideas, as opposed to pushing their own self-effacing needs and desires. Ax, you know that when my heads right, I'm the BEST at knowing how to protect, market, conceptualize, and most impotantly put my own personal needs or injecting "MY VISION"..give me a fucking break..You don't need someone to GUIDE you..You're the most intelligent, misunderstood individual, I've EVER had the pleasure of working with. You need a facilitator of your dreams. Someone who is humble, loyal, as has no hidden agendas. Guess what bro..THAT'S ME!!
I implore you to find the time to meet with me. You will see for yourself...Dougie is back bigger, better and stronger than EVER!!
  I will be in LA May 8th-the 10th. I implore you to meet with me..I will extend my trip as long as you need me to. I will sit and answer any and every question truthfully and completly. I can come in early, or stay later..You tell me when YOU are available...I'll be there.
  I have a brilliant plan to make you between 10-20 million dollars a year, wehter you tour or not. It's called the "ROSE FESTIVAL".  If you decide to tour with Van Halen, I could do the pre-production and the first show, but need to get back to Hawaii for my wedding. 
  The festival would start in Australia in January 2010. The site would be a massive field, holding 250-500 thousand people. It's a two day event, with 3 stages. We'd have a metal day the first day. We would approach Metallica to close the first night. We would have 60 bands including GNR over the course of 2 days. The beauty is you'd be doing 2 shows a wee k, and you OWN the festival in perpituity. You would have to do the initial tour, but after that, you stay home and tellme the bands you want, sit back and collect the money...no longer would you need Irving, or anyone else. I'm willing to move back to LA to be at CAA everyday to find the right sponsors, bands, and fly to EVERY location, ensuring a safe environment. The beauty is instead od the promoter making all the money, you OWN the event. You get paid on parking, all beverages, t-shirt sales from EVERY band on the bill, as well as a lion's share of the sponsorship money. Ax, you know me..if I set my mind on something..I am the BEST at allowing you your vision, and concurrently protecting you.
  I would like to set up a charitable foundation under YOUR NAME, where $2 from every ticket sold goes towards feeding the HUNGRY..imgine if we can get McDonalds to mach us happy-meal for happy meal. You'd personally be responsible for feeding 500,00-1 million people evertime we haVE A show.
The press would be HUGE!!!!
  I would need to be in LA while you are doing the Van Halen tour, as it's imperative to be at CAA everyday to ensure your vision is met.
  I have many other ideas tha I'd love to share with you, including a video idea for "If The World"..Using stock footage, build a montage wth FREE stock footage...Bernie Madoff, the founder of Countrywide..the global stock markets crahing..people jumpig off buidings after losing ther personal wealth, the war in Iraq, the homeless all over the world..etc..you wouldn't need to be in the video at all if you choose not to. I'd over see the production of the video in LA and send you a rough copy FED-EX everyday, so it is YOUR vision.
  Bottom line, please forgive me for not being ther...Bridget has given me aa new lease on life, and I've NEVER been this happy and strong. I weigh 158 pounds, wearing a size 30 jean, eomtionally and physically stronger than I've ever been. I'm up tothe task and KNOW without an hesitation that I can protect yo u and set you up financially for the rest of your life.
  Thank you SO much for taking the time to hear me out, and if you decide NOT to work with me, I respect that decision. I will ALWAYS be ther for you, and YOU decide what I deserve to make for my efforts. I hope you will at least give me an opportunity to sit with you, to allow us the opportuniy to put some resolve to our relationship. Either way, we both need to get on with our lives, and have closure one way or another.
Beta knows how to reach me..feel free to write or call me whenever you feel up to it.
Your Friend,
Doug Goldstein
p.s----sorry for all the typo's..I needed to get his to you asap
 

<<<<<<>>>>>>

Rumour has it Beta got Doug to write Axl a letter in an attempt to try and get him back into the fold.  Doug posted the pics on facebook so Axl found out Beta had been speaking with him. Allegedly, Axl kicked Beta out of the house afterwards, their relationship had a fallout and then got back again, and now she's the manager...

http://www.gnrevolution.com/viewtopic.php?id=12442

<<<<>>>>.

There's also another rumor that states that Beta encouraged Doug to write that letter to publicly humiliate him iirc. Either way, the end result is hilariously awful.

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The Rose Festival :facepalm:
And then all these ideas for the If The World video... omg, best thing I've read this year so far 

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26 minutes ago, MildlyArtistic said:

Doug quoting the Eminem song 'Stan' without a single hint of irony regarding the subject matter of the song honestly makes this letter for me.

 

Also, has GNR ever had a manager that isn't either a complete wingnut or a prick cruising by on nepotism?

Vicky Hamilton was fine, IMO. And since Steven mentioned her in his rrhof speech she is probably the only manager who was really important for their career. 

while saying this, don't forget the fact that Axl and drugs were the only problems the band had. And since everyone was clean Axl was the only problem which stayed ...

 

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Yikes this reads like a desperate highschool kid whose girlfriend broke up with him for cheating.

Right down to him saying how much hes improved and saying he loves him with all his heart :lol:

 

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The next time sidman does an interview with doug, id like dougs thoughts on this letter 10 years later.

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4 minutes ago, Sydney Fan said:

The next time sidman does an interview with doug, id like dougs thoughts on this letter 10 years later.

He spoke about the letter in some interview. He seemed to acknowledge it was pathetic.

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Axl Rose hosting his own festival could go one of two ways...

Either it ends up like Metallica's Orion Festival, which bombed so hard they had to spend the next 3 years touring relentlessly to recoup the losses (admittedly their expensive IMAX movie bombing didn't help).

Or it could end up weirdly successful, like the CalJam festival the Foo Fighters have ran the past two years.

Although a festival associated with the NuGuns that barely anybody have a damn about at that point in time? Yeah, that'd have made Orion Festival look downright lucrative.

 

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Is this legit or a joke?

 

The spelling errors, typos misused words ('know one' really? wtf...) and the subject matter of the letter in general make this look like it was written by a 7th grader who isn't bright.

 

Don't get me wrong, I make typos, and I've misused their they're there.... but on things like forum threads.  starting somewhere around "email to a co-worker" it get proofed to some degree in my life.

 

This is so over the top dumb, it seems suspect.  Did Beta drug him before he wrote the letter?  WTF did I just read?

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This is gold. Doug is so fucking shady. The only thing worse than The Rose Festival idea is his spelling. What the fuck was he thinking?! If he wasn’t high, he has major problems. Going back to my comments on another thread, something is just off with him. Fernando looks like Clive Davis compared to this clown. Niven was hands down their best manager. Such a shame... 

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With managers like this guy, Axl may as well have just quit the music business.

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34 minutes ago, Legendador said:

You guys are so LAME!

So, the guy who worked for Axl for 20 years is trying to reach out to him (right or wrong - we will never know) and you make fun of that?

Because Alan Niven is trustworthy, right? The guy that sold to Great White a Answer Machine tape with a major fight between Erin and Axl (just listen to "Psyco City") is the guy you think is to be trusted. Even Slash criticized Alan in his book.

I don't know who is right or wrong in this relationship (Axl / Doug), don't care, because is none of my business, but here I see someone trying to make something right or to fix something and stupid idiots making fun of it.

LAME! :facepalm:

At least, with Doug, those where the best GNR years prior to the reunion.

Merck ruined the band, Alan was only there to make Great White as big as GNR.

Guys, I think we found Doug's account!

Doug is despised by everyone in Guns for a reason.

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