©GnrPersia Posted June 25, 2023 Share Posted June 25, 2023 (edited) Guns N’ Roses review, Glastonbury 2023: Frontrunners for the worst Glasto headline set of all time Axl Rose flips between a lower register that resembles a clogged lawnmower and a higher one that sounds like Barry Gibb suffering the mother of all wedgies / by Mark Beaumont If Noel Gallagher’s wading into a Glastonbury headliner debate, you know matters are taking a significant turn. Back in 2008, Noel was “not having” Jay-Z headlining; this year, indie music’s sagest commentator finds it “crazy s***” that Guns N’ Roses are topping Saturday night’s bill. And this time, rather than his comments being brushed like dirt from the shoulder of progress, he has a point. By booking Guns N’ Roses, having spent 15 solid years widening the cultural remit of Britain’s most legendary festival, Glastonbury made its biggest backward misstep since Mumford & Sons. The festival could have honoured a rich and influential songbook, like those of the Pyramid Stage’s other heritage heroes Paul McCartney, Elton, Bowie or The Rolling Stones. But from the moment GN’R arrive – with uncharacteristic punctuality – to corny, cartoonish visuals of skulls in Slash hats, they represent everything dated, rockist, indulgent and macho that Glastonbury has rejected since its inception. Launching into the grisly Sunset Strip rock’n’roll of “It’s So Easy”, Axl Rose writhes around the stage like he’s in a pop-up ad for a very niche fetish website, while Slash works relentless quicksilver riffs from his Gibson. The 57-year-old holds his guitar at a permanently priapic angle, with the expression of a plumber installing a particularly intricate under-sink filter system. A structure is swiftly set. There will be sporadic air-punching to crowd-rousing hard rock classics, which are largely culled from 1987’s Appetite For Destruction. But enjoy these while you can, because it’s liable to be 30 to 40 minutes of self-indulgent soloing, set-padding punk covers and overlong bluster rock before the next one shows up. Guns N’ Roses misfit a Glastonbury headline slot on so many levels that they might as well be wearing T-shirts reading “Leylines Suck” or “Beards NEED Moustaches”. Jock-friendly heroin tributes like “Mr Brownstone” are made to chug kegs to, not lose yourself, the size of a pinhead, in a pint of psychedelic cider. “Bad Obsession” sounds like Eighties Reading’s revenge. And despite being this year’s only Pyramid Stage headline act with a female member (in keyboardist Melissa Reese) there are moments when they exude more toxic masculinity than Andrew Tate’s personal Lynx factory. Witness Axl berating a “syphilitic priestess” with a “p**** full of maggots” to visuals of a vomiting Medusa on “Absurd”, like the most incel of Tinder trolls. Or “Pretty Tied Up”, boasting the none-more-chivalrous chorus “pretty tied up, hanging upside down, pretty tied up and you can ride her”. Axl, it quickly transpires, is Guns N’ Roses’ fatal flaw. The band may be capable of weighing down their paciest speed-rock workout (“Double Talkin’ Jive”) to a ponderous chug and could drag “The Wheels on the Bus” out to an overblown 12 minutes. But even when they’re locked into a powerful, charged union – on, say, “Estranged” or “Reckless Life” – Rose makes the whole thing sound like a Muppet Show pastiche of hard rock. It’s his voice: a creature that, were you to take it to a vet, would come home in a cardboard box. Mumbling vague approximations of English words as if chronically constipated (if you’ve hit the goat curry hard enough, you’ll feel his intestinal pain), he flips between a lower register that resembles a clogged lawnmower and a higher one that sounds like Barry Gibb suffering the mother of all wedgies. It deflates even their most iron-clad tunes. Terf Twitter might watch him shriek his way through “Welcome to the Jungle” and consider it living proof that grown men are now identifying as cockerels. “November Rain” – Axl at the piano and band in full bombast mode – makes Elton’s “I’m Still Standing” look like a masterclass in enunciation. “You Could Be Mine” sounds like it’s being mauled by a pack of wild cats and Axl lands such relentless hammer blows to the skull of Wings’ “Live and Let Die” (minus the rumoured Macca guest spot) that “let die” becomes the kindest option. The righteous import of “Civil War”, adorned with images of a tattered Ukrainian flag, are lost in his formless mewling. A parade of rock cliché outfits – shiny biker king, Vegas magician – only serve to emphasise the sense that he’s become a lounge singer tribute to himself. When Rose disappears and lets bassist Duff McKagen take the mike for The Stooges’ “TV Eye”, the visceral punk rock band at Guns N’ Roses core comes out to play in his absence. And to his credit, Rose adequately handles more leisurely tracks like “Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door” and “Patience” and knocks a fantastic final “Paradise City”, featuring Dave Grohl’s 37th surprise guest slot of the weekend, clean out of the Avalonian vale. But by this point, even truncating their usual three-hour set to a relatively nimble two-and-a-half, they’re exhausting viewing and frontrunners for the worst Glastonbury headline set of all time. Crazy s***? If only it’d been crazy, Noel… Source: https://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/music/reviews/guns-n-roses-review-glastonbury-festival-b2363553.html Edited June 25, 2023 by ©GnrPersia 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
axlvai Posted June 25, 2023 Share Posted June 25, 2023 Fuck this actual crystal generation. 2 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Billy Cundy Posted June 25, 2023 Share Posted June 25, 2023 (edited) Fuck this nerd! I’m gonna find out where he lives and shit in his toaster. I did laugh at comparing slash’ vertical les Paul stance to a plumber sorting a pipe. The comments under the Independent post of this article on FB was mostly people disagreeing. The people have spoken. Guns delivered. Edited June 25, 2023 by Billy Cundy 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
©GnrPersia Posted June 25, 2023 Author Share Posted June 25, 2023 2 minutes ago, axlvai said: Fuck this actual crystal generation. Actually Mark Beaumont (the author) is born in 1972. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mark_Beaumont_(journalist) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stay.Of.Execution Posted June 25, 2023 Share Posted June 25, 2023 This has been discussed in the show thread already. But thanks for making a new thread just for this. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
axlvai Posted June 25, 2023 Share Posted June 25, 2023 1 minute ago, ©GnrPersia said: Actually Mark Beaumont (the author) is born in 1972. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mark_Beaumont_(journalist) So this man is totally "infected" with this actual shit. This is rock n roll. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
©GnrPersia Posted June 25, 2023 Author Share Posted June 25, 2023 1 minute ago, Stay.Of.Execution said: This has been discussed in the show thread already. But thanks for making a new thread just for this. you're welcome. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rovim Posted June 25, 2023 Share Posted June 25, 2023 (edited) Gn'R is not punk or cool enough for the writer of this review. He sounds like a snob imo and I think it doesn't really represents Gn'R in an accurate way when they are described as macho and it was always the type of band where more is more. Axl's current singing voice is not for everyone, that's valid but other than that, I'm not sure what show this dude was watching, he seems to not be into Gn'R in the first place. A few funny descriptions in there though, so not a waste of time to read imo, even if I found it to be quite harsh and unforgiving. Axl sang Reckless Life just fine for example I think and a most of the show was strong vocally as well so this particular reviewer seems kinda biased and even closed minded. Edited June 25, 2023 by Rovim 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
We love Axl Rose Posted June 25, 2023 Share Posted June 25, 2023 43 minutes ago, ©GnrPersia said: Guns N’ Roses review, Glastonbury 2023: Frontrunners for the worst Glasto headline set of all time / by Mark Beaumont Poor guy, i feel sorry for him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SAU3R Posted June 25, 2023 Share Posted June 25, 2023 Fuck them /sink 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Axl_morris Posted June 25, 2023 Share Posted June 25, 2023 The shit on the arctic monkeys too. I've no doubt Elton also. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Blackstar Posted June 25, 2023 Popular Post Share Posted June 25, 2023 (edited) Here are the other reviews so far. The Guardian (very favourable): https://www.theguardian.com/music/2023/jun/25/guns-n-roses-at-glastonbury-review-pyramid-stage NME (favourable): https://www.nme.com/reviews/live/guns-n-roses-live-at-glastonbury-photos-setlist-3460919 Mojo Magazine (rather favourable): https://www.mojo4music.com/articles/stories/guns-n-roses-at-glastonbury-2023-reviewed/ BBC (positive): https://www.bbc.com/news/entertainment-arts-66011512 Evening Standard (favourable): https://www.standard.co.uk/culture/music/guns-n-roses-pyramid-stage-glastonbury-review-sweet-child-o-mine-paradise-city-b1090021.html Metro (positive): https://metro.co.uk/2023/06/24/glastonbury-2023-guns-n-roses-rock-out-in-epic-headline-set-19009203/ The Telegraph (mixed, as in Axl bad but Slash good, the band doesn't fit Glastonbury) https://www.telegraph.co.uk/music/concerts/guns-n-roses-glastonbury-festival-2023-review/ The Times (same as above): https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/guns-n-roses-glastonbury-2023-review-vxsk2c8f5 iNews (mixed, as in good show but GN'R are too white/male/guitar based/old fashioned etc.): https://inews.co.uk/culture/music/guns-n-roses-glastonbury-2023-review-i-thought-crotch-grabbing-hard-rock-was-behind-us-i-was-wrong-2432274 Classic Rock (favourable): https://www.loudersound.com/reviews/guns-n-roses-glastonbury-review Rolling Stone (favourable): https://www.rollingstone.co.uk/music/live-reviews/guns-n-roses-live-at-glastonbury-rock-and-roll-riot-wins-over-worthy-farm-30509 Edited June 26, 2023 by Blackstar Added more reviews 6 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Stay.Of.Execution Posted June 25, 2023 Popular Post Share Posted June 25, 2023 Great. Now you've ruined this negative thread :-( 14 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oxford Posted June 25, 2023 Share Posted June 25, 2023 4 minutes ago, Stay.Of.Execution said: Great. Now you've ruined this negative thread :-( Let’s get it back on track then by talking about Slash’s bogie during the set 🤔🤣 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Uncle Bob Posted June 25, 2023 Share Posted June 25, 2023 LIES LIES LIES LIES LIES LIES LIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AXEL IS THE BEST DO YOU HEAR ME THE BEST, AXEL COME ON YOUR BETTER THAN EVER MY SWEET BEAUTIFUL BABY ANGEL AXEL I LOVE YOU I HOPE YOU CAN COME TO BRAZIL SOON PLEASE AXEL YOU HAVE THE VOICE OF AN ANGEL AND THE STRENGTH OF A DEMON AXEL YOUR THE BEST I AM IN LOVE WITH YOU AND YOUR BODY PLEASE AXEL COME TO BRAZIL DO IT PLEASE AXEL YOURE THE BEST AXEL IS DOING BETTER THAN EVER YOU LIARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY BABY ANGEL IS BETTER THAN ANY OF YOU PEOPLE, AT 61 HE NOT ONLY IS BETTER THAN EVER AND A ROCK GOD YOU ARE NOT CAPABLE OF DOING WHAT MY BABY ANGEL DOES I LOVE HIM HE IS MY BABY ANGEL MY SWEET CHILD I LOVE HIM AND HE WILL COME TO BRAZIL 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mysteron Posted June 25, 2023 Share Posted June 25, 2023 Mark Beaumont used to write for the NME, I think he's more into 90s music and I think he only likes a few GN'R songs. I think because the Arctic Monkeys got alot of negative press and feedback, I think Mark has gone above and beyond to try and trash GNR as a deflection. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
janrichmond Posted June 25, 2023 Share Posted June 25, 2023 1 hour ago, Oxford said: Let’s get it back on track then by talking about Slash’s bogie during the set 🤔🤣 wanker 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
allwaystired Posted June 25, 2023 Share Posted June 25, 2023 How about letting the writer have a different opinion without screaming, swearing and abusing him? I know it's an old fashioned view that people may have differing views on things...... 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old_school_gnr_fan Posted June 25, 2023 Share Posted June 25, 2023 This Mark Beaumont fella probably likes Sam Smith and wants to see One Direction get back together. Likely not the most masculine guy in the world. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whiskey Rose Posted June 25, 2023 Share Posted June 25, 2023 They ‘exude toxic masculinity’ (and please ignore that they have a female member of band, not relevant to my point) What a douche. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alejandro GNR Posted June 25, 2023 Share Posted June 25, 2023 Its undeniable that Axl cant sing anymore in the mid register. He sounds GREAT in his lower one He sounds ABSOLUTELY ATROCIUOS in the mid register and weak in most of the higher register There are times that he isnt even audible, and lets face it, it isnt due to technical issues. Just listen to PTU and you realize everything sounds good except for the mid range parts It is what it is…we as fans got used to it but any other singer sounding like this would be butchered. I enjoy seeing him happy and energic, it makes me very happy Lets hope for new music and great studio vocals Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhazUp Posted June 26, 2023 Share Posted June 26, 2023 Reading some of these articles I genuinely think these "journalists" already had their minds made up of what they were going to say and no matter what GNR did on stage they were gonna stick to it It seems like most people, even casual fans on other message boards and Reddit subs not related to GNR, that knew not to expect Axl Rose of 2023 to sound like Axl Rose of 1993 were pleasantly suprised by the set and enjoyed it 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ratam Posted June 26, 2023 Share Posted June 26, 2023 He think that is very smart cause abuse full irony. At least save the last part of show with PC. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bumcheecksmcghee Posted June 26, 2023 Share Posted June 26, 2023 The paradise city song is up on youtube off Glastonbury, bbc official pro shot channel. Terrible... axl just stop already Barely hear his voice an when u can it's all mickey an wheezing. Can't hear the bass and franks drumming is stale. Just release the polished studio stuff already! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bitchisback Posted June 26, 2023 Share Posted June 26, 2023 3 hours ago, WhazUp said: Reading some of these articles I genuinely think these "journalists" already had their minds made up of what they were going to say and no matter what GNR did on stage they were gonna stick to it It seems like most people, even casual fans on other message boards and Reddit subs not related to GNR, that knew not to expect Axl Rose of 2023 to sound like Axl Rose of 1993 were pleasantly suprised by the set and enjoyed it This dude absolutely had his mind made up before hand. Probably has a lot of the article pre-written too 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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